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must admit that you stopped me on the Quai Voltaire just as I was
about to throw myself into the Seine； and you would like to know； no
doubt； my motives for dying。 And when I proceed to tell you that by an
almost miraculous chance the most poetic memorials of the material
world had but just then been summed up for me as a symbolical
interpretation of human wisdom； whilst at this minute the remains of
all the intellectual treasures ravaged by us at table are comprised in
these two women； the living and authentic types of folly； would you be
any the wiser？ Our profound apathy towards men and things supplied the
half…tones in a crudely contrasted picture of two theories of life so
diametrically opposed。 If you were not drunk； you might perhaps catch
a gleam of philosophy in this。〃
〃And if you had not both feet on that fascinating Aquilina； whose
heavy breathing suggests an analogy with the sounds of a storm about
to burst；〃 replied Emile； absently engaged in the harmless amusement
of winding and unwinding Euphrasia's hair； 〃you would be ashamed of
your inebriated garrulity。 Both your systems can be packed in a
phrase； and reduced to a single idea。 The mere routine of living
brings a stupid kind of wisdom with it； by blunting our intelligence
with work； and on the other hand； a life passed in the limbo of the
abstract or in the abysses of the moral world； produces a sort of
wisdom run mad。 The conditions may be summed up in brief； we may
extinguish emotion； and so live to old age； or we may choose to die
young as martyrs to contending passions。 And yet this decree is at
variance with the temperaments with which we were endowed by the
bitter jester who modeled all creatures。〃
〃Idiot！〃 Raphael burst in。 〃Go on epitomizing yourself after that
fashion； and you will fill volumes。 If I attempted to formulate those
two ideas clearly； I might as well say that man is corrupted by the
exercise of his wits； and purified by ignorance。 You are calling the
whole fabric of society to account。 But whether we live with the wise
or perish with the fool； isn't the result the same sooner or later？
And have not the prime constituents of the quintessence of both
systems been before expressed in a couple of wordsCarymary；
Carymara。〃
〃You make me doubt the existence of a God； for your stupidity is
greater than His power；〃 said Emile。 〃Our beloved Rabelais summed it
all up in a shorter word than your 'Carymary； Carymara'； from his
Peut…etre Montaigne derived his own Que sais…je？ After all； this last
word of moral science is scarcely more than the cry of Pyrrhus set
betwixt good and evil； or Buridan's ass between the two measures of
oats。 But let this everlasting question alone； resolved to…day by a
'Yes' and a 'No。' What experience did you look to find by a jump into
the Seine？ Were you jealous of the hydraulic machine on the Pont Notre
Dame？〃
〃Ah； if you but knew my history！〃
〃Pooh；〃 said Emile； 〃I did not think you could be so commonplace； that
remark is hackneyed。 Don't you know that every one of us claims to
have suffered as no other ever did？〃
〃Ah！〃 Raphael sighed。
〃What a mountebank art thou with thy 'Ah'！ Look here； now。 Does some
disease of the mind or body； by contracting your muscles； bring back
of a morning the wild horses that tear you in pieces at night； as with
Damiens once upon a time？ Were you driven to sup off your own dog in a
garret； uncooked and without salt？ Have your children ever cried； 'I
am hungry'？ Have you sold your mistress' hair to hazard the money at
play？ Have you ever drawn a sham bill of exchange on a fictitious
uncle at a sham address； and feared lest you should not be in time to
take it up？ Come now； I am attending！ If you were going to drown
yourself for some woman； or by way of a protest； or out of sheer
dulness； I disown you。 Make your confession； and no lies！ I don't at
all want a historical memoir。 And； above all things； be as concise as
your clouded intellect permits； I am as critical as a professor； and
as sleepy as a woman at her vespers。〃
〃You silly fool！〃 said Raphael。 〃When has not suffering been keener
for a more susceptible nature？ Some day when science has attained to a
pitch that enables us to study the natural history of hearts； when
they are named and classified in genera； sub…genera； and families；
into crustaceae； fossils； saurians； infusoria； or whatever it is；
then； my dear fellow； it will be ascertained that there are natures as
tender and fragile as flowers； that are broken by the slight bruises
that some stony hearts do not even feel〃
〃For pity's sake； spare me thy exordium；〃 said Emile； as； half
plaintive； half amused； he took Raphael's hand。
II
A WOMAN WITHOUT A HEART
After a moment's silence； Raphael said with a careless gesture：
〃Perhaps it is an effect of the fumes of punchI really cannot tell
this clearness of mind that enables me to comprise my whole life in a
single picture； where figures and hues； lights； shades； and half…tones
are faithfully rendered。 I should not have been so surprised at this
poetical play of imagination if it were not accompanied with a sort of
scorn for my past joys and sorrows。 Seen from afar； my life appears to
contract by some mental process。 That long； slow agony of ten years'
duration can be brought to memory to…day in some few phrases； in which
pain is resolved into a mere idea； and pleasure becomes a
philosophical reflection。 Instead of feeling things； I weigh and
consider them〃
〃You are as tiresome as the explanation of an amendment；〃 cried Emile。
〃Very likely；〃 said Raphael submissively。 〃I spare you the first
seventeen years of my life for fear of abusing a listener's patience。
Till that time； like you and thousands of others； I had lived my life
at school or the lycee； with its imaginary troubles and genuine
happinesses； which are so pleasant to look back upon。 Our jaded
palates still crave for that Lenten fare； so long as we have not tried
it afresh。 It was a pleasant life； with the tasks that we thought so
contemptible； but which taught us application for all that。 。 。 。〃
〃Let the drama begin；〃 said Emile； half…plaintively； half…comically。
〃When I left school；〃 Raphael went on； with a gesture that claimed the
right of speaking； 〃my father submitted me to a strict discipline； he
installed me in a room near his own study； and I had to rise at five
in the morning and be in bed by nine at night。 He meant me to take my
law studies seriously。 I attended the Schools； and read with an
advocate as well； but my lectures and work were so narrowly
circumscribed by the laws of time and space； and my father required
such a strict account of my doings； at dinner； that 。 。 。〃
〃What is this to me？〃 asked Emile。
〃The devil take you！〃 said Raphael。 〃How are you to enter into my
feelings if I do not relate the facts that insensibly shaped my
character； made me timid； and pr