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seventy years old at least； they are the best uncles。 （Sensation。） Get
him to eat a pate de foie gras； any pretext will do。〃
〃Ah； but my uncle is a thin； tall man； and very niggardly and
abstemious。〃
〃That sort of uncle is a monster； he misappropriates existence。〃
〃Then；〃 the speaker on uncles went on； 〃tell him； while he is
digesting it； that his banker has failed。〃
〃How if he bears up？〃
〃Let loose a pretty girl on him。〃
〃And if？〃 asked the other； with a shake of the head。
〃Then he wouldn't be an unclean uncle is a gay dog by nature。〃
〃Malibran has lost two notes in her voice。〃
〃No； sir； she has not。〃
〃Yes； sir； she has。〃
〃Oh； ho！ No and yes； is not that the sum…up of all religious；
political； or literary dissertations？ Man is a clown dancing on the
edge of an abyss。〃
〃You would make out that I am a fool。〃
〃On the contrary； you cannot make me out。〃
〃Education； there's a pretty piece of tomfoolery。 M。 Heineffettermach
estimates the number of printed volumes at more than a thousand
millions； and a man cannot read more than a hundred and fifty thousand
in his lifetime。 So； just tell me what that word education means。 For
some it consists in knowing the name of Alexander's horse； of the dog
Berecillo； of the Seigneur d'Accords； and in ignorance of the man to
whom we owe the discovery of rafting and the manufacture of porcelain。
For others it is the knowledge how to burn a will and live respected；
be looked up to and popular； instead of stealing a watch with half…a…
dozen aggravating circumstances； after a previous conviction； and so
perishing； hated and dishonored； in the Place de Greve。〃
〃Will Nathan's work live？〃
〃He has very clever collaborators； sir。〃
〃Or Canalis？〃
〃He is a great man； let us say no more about him。〃
〃You are all drunk！〃
〃The consequence of a Constitution is the immediate stultification of
intellects。 Art； science； public works； everything； is consumed by a
horribly egoistic feeling； the leprosy of the time。 Three hundred of
your bourgeoisie； set down on benches； will only think of planting
poplars。 Tyranny does great things lawlessly； while Liberty will
scarcely trouble herself to do petty ones lawfully。〃
〃Your reciprocal instruction will turn out counters in human flesh；〃
broke in an Absolutist。 〃All individuality will disappear in a people
brought to a dead level by education。〃
〃For all that； is not the aim of society to secure happiness to each
member of it？〃 asked the Saint…Simonian。
〃If you had an income of fifty thousand livres； you would not think
much about the people。 If you are smitten with a tender passion for
the race； go to Madagascar； there you will find a nice little nation
all ready to Saint…Simonize； classify； and cork up in your phials； but
here every one fits into his niche like a peg in a hole。 A porter is a
porter； and a blockhead is a fool； without a college of fathers to
promote them to those positions。〃
〃You are a Carlist。〃
〃And why not？ Despotism pleases me； it implies a certain contempt for
the human race。 I have no animosity against kings； they are so
amusing。 Is it nothing to sit enthroned in a room； at a distance of
thirty million leagues from the sun？〃
〃Let us once more take a broad view of civilization；〃 said the man of
learning who； for the benefit of the inattentive sculptor； had opened
a discussion on primitive society and autochthonous races。 〃The vigor
of a nation in its origin was in a way physical； unitary； and crude；
then as aggregations increased； government advanced by a decomposition
of the primitive rule； more or less skilfully managed。 For example； in
remote ages national strength lay in theocracy； the priest held both
sword and censer； a little later there were two priests； the pontiff
and the king。 To…day our society； the latest word of civilization； has
distributed power according to the number of combinations； and we come
to the forces called business； thought； money； and eloquence。
Authority thus divided is steadily approaching a social dissolution；
with interest as its one opposing barrier。 We depend no longer on
either religion or physical force； but upon intellect。 Can a book
replace the sword？ Can discussion be a substitute for action？ That is
the question。〃
〃Intellect has made an end of everything；〃 cried the Carlist。 〃Come
now！ Absolute freedom has brought about national suicides； their
triumph left them as listless as an English millionaire。〃
〃Won't you tell us something new？ You have made fun of authority of
all sorts to…day； which is every bit as vulgar as denying the
existence of God。 So you have no belief left； and the century is like
an old Sultan worn out by debauchery！ Your Byron； in short； sings of
crime and its emotions in a final despair of poetry。〃
〃Don't you know；〃 replied Bianchon； quite drunk by this time； 〃that a
dose of phosphorus more or less makes the man of genius or the
scoundrel； a clever man or an idiot； a virtuous person or a criminal？〃
〃Can any one treat of virtue thus？〃 cried Cursy。 〃Virtue； the subject
of every drama at the theatre； the denoument of every play； the
foundation of every court of law。 。 。 。〃
〃Be quiet； you ass。 You are an Achilles for virtue； without his heel；〃
said Bixiou。
〃Some drink！〃
〃What will you bet that I will drink a bottle of champagne like a
flash； at one pull？〃
〃What a flash of wit！〃
〃Drunk as lords；〃 muttered a young man gravely； trying to give some
wine to his waistcoat。
〃Yes； sir； real government is the art of ruling by public opinion。〃
〃Opinion？ That is the most vicious jade of all。 According to you
moralists and politicians； the laws you set up are always to go before
those of nature； and opinion before conscience。 You are right and
wrong both。 Suppose society bestows down pillows on us； that benefit
is made up for by the gout； and justice is likewise tempered by red…
tape； and colds accompany cashmere shawls。〃
〃Wretch！〃 Emile broke in upon the misanthrope； 〃how can you slander
civilization here at table； up to the eyes in wines and exquisite
dishes？ Eat away at that roebuck with the gilded horns and feet； and
do not carp at your mother。 。 。〃
〃Is it any fault of mine if Catholicism puts a million deities in a
sack of flour； that Republics will end in a Napoleon； that monarchy
dwells between the assassination of Henry IV。 and the trial of Louis
XVI。； and Liberalism produces Lafayettes？〃
〃Didn't you embrace him in July？〃
〃No。〃
〃Then hold your tongue； you sceptic。〃
〃Sceptics are the most conscientious of men。〃
〃They have no conscience。〃
〃What are you saying？ They have two apiece at least！〃
〃So you want to discount heaven； a thoroughly commercial notion。
Ancient religions were but the unchecked development of physical
pleasure； but we have developed a soul and expectations；