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whether it was wielded by Gravity intoxicated； or by Inebriation grown
sober and clear…sighted。 Borne away by a kind of tempest； their minds；
like the sea raging against the cliffs； seemed ready to shake the laws
which confine the ebb and flow of civilization； unconsciously
fulfilling the will of God； who has suffered evil and good to abide in
nature； and reserved the secret of their continual strife to Himself。
A frantic travesty of debate ensued； a Walpurgis…revel of intellects。
Between the dreary jests of these children of the Revolution over the
inauguration of a newspaper； and the talk of the joyous gossips at
Gargantua's birth； stretched the gulf that divides the nineteenth
century from the sixteenth。 Laughingly they had begun the work of
destruction； and our journalists laughed amid the ruins。
〃What is the name of that young man over there？〃 said the notary；
indicating Raphael。 〃I thought I heard some one call him Valentin。〃
〃What stuff is this？〃 said Emile； laughing； 〃plain Valentin； say you？
Raphael DE Valentin； if you please。 We bear an eagle or； on a field
sable； with a silver crown； beak and claws gules； and a fine motto：
NON CECIDIT ANIMUS。 We are no foundling child； but a descendant of the
Emperor Valens； of the stock of the Valentinois； founders of the
cities of Valence in France； and Valencia in Spain； rightful heirs to
the Empire of the East。 If we suffer Mahmoud on the throne of
Byzantium； it is out of pure condescension； and for lack of funds and
soldiers。〃
With a fork flourished above Raphael's head； Emile outlined a crown
upon it。 The notary bethought himself a moment； but soon fell to
drinking again； with a gesture peculiar to himself； it was quite
impossible； it seemed to say to secure in his clientele the cities of
Valence and Byzantium； the Emperor Valens； Mahmoud； and the house of
Valentinois。
〃Should not the destruction of those ant…hills； Babylon； Tyre；
Carthage； and Venice； each crushed beneath the foot of a passing
giant； serve as a warning to man； vouchsafed by some mocking power？〃
said Claude Vignon； who must play the Bossuet； as a sort of purchased
slave； at the rate of fivepence a line。
〃Perhaps Moses； Sylla； Louis XI。； Richelieu； Robespierre； and Napoleon
were but the same man who crosses our civilizations now and again；
like a comet across the sky；〃 said a disciple of Ballanche。
〃Why try to fathom the designs of Providence？〃 said Canalis； maker of
ballads。
〃Come； now；〃 said the man who set up for a critic； 〃there is nothing
more elastic in the world than your Providence。〃
〃Well； sir； Louis XIV。 sacrificed more lives over digging the
foundations of the Maintenon's aqueducts； than the Convention expended
in order to assess the taxes justly； to make one law for everybody；
and one nation of France； and to establish the rule of equal
inheritance；〃 said Massol； whom the lack of a syllable before his name
had made a Republican。
〃Are you going to leave our heads on our shoulders？〃 asked Moreau （of
the Oise）； a substantial farmer。 〃You； sir； who took blood for wine
just now？〃
〃Where is the use？ Aren't the principles of social order worth some
sacrifices； sir？〃
〃Hi！ Bixiou！ What's…his…name； the Republican； considers a landowner's
head a sacrifice！〃 said a young man to his neighbor。
〃Men and events count for nothing；〃 said the Republican； following out
his theory in spite of hiccoughs； 〃in politics； as in philosophy；
there are only principles and ideas。〃
〃What an abomination！ Then you would ruthlessly put your friends to
death for a shibboleth？〃
〃Eh； sir！ the man who feels compunction is your thorough scoundrel；
for he has some notion of virtue； while Peter the Great and the Duke
of Alva were embodied systems； and the pirate Monbard an
organization。〃
〃But can't society rid itself of your systems and organizations？〃 said
Canalis。
〃Oh； granted！〃 cried the Republican。
〃That stupid Republic of yours makes me feel queasy。 We sha'n't be
able to carve a capon in peace； because we shall find the agrarian law
inside it。〃
〃Ah； my little Brutus； stuffed with truffles； your principles are all
right enough。 But you are like my valet； the rogue is so frightfully
possessed with a mania for property that if I left him to clean my
clothes after his fashion； he would soon clean me out。〃
〃Crass idiots！〃 replied the Republican； 〃you are for setting a nation
straight with toothpicks。 To your way of thinking； justice is more
dangerous than thieves。〃
〃Oh； dear！〃 cried the attorney Deroches。
〃Aren't they a bore with their politics！〃 said the notary Cardot。
〃Shut up。 That's enough of it。 There is no knowledge nor virtue worth
shedding a drop of blood for。 If Truth were brought into liquidation；
we might find her insolvent。〃
〃It would be much less trouble； no doubt； to amuse ourselves with
evil； rather than dispute about good。 Moreover； I would give all the
speeches made for forty years past at the Tribune for a trout； for one
of Perrault's tales or Charlet's sketches。〃
〃Quite right！ 。 。 。 Hand me the asparagus。 Because； after all； liberty
begets anarchy； anarchy leads to despotism； and despotism back again
to liberty。 Millions have died without securing a triumph for any one
system。 Is not that the vicious circle in which the whole moral world
revolves？ Man believes that he has reached perfection； when in fact he
has but rearranged matters。〃
〃Oh！ oh！〃 cried Cursy； the vaudevilliste； 〃in that case； gentlemen；
here's to Charles X。； the father of liberty。〃
〃Why not？〃 asked Emile。 〃When law becomes despotic； morals are
relaxed； and vice versa。
〃Let us drink to the imbecility of authority； which gives us such an
authority over imbeciles！〃 said the good banker。
〃Napoleon left us glory； at any rate； my good friend！〃 exclaimed a
naval officer who had never left Brest。
〃Glory is a poor bargain； you buy it dear； and it will not keep。 Does
not the egotism of the great take the form of glory； just as for
nobodies it is their own well…being？〃
〃You are very fortunate； sir〃
〃The first inventor of ditches must have been a weakling； for society
is only useful to the puny。 The savage and the philosopher； at either
extreme of the moral scale； hold property in equal horror。〃
〃All very fine！〃 said Cardot； 〃but if there were no property； there
would be no documents to draw up。〃
〃These green peas are excessively delicious！〃
〃And the cure was found dead in his bed in the morning。 。 。 。〃
〃Who is talking about death？ Pray don't trifle； I have an uncle。〃
〃Could you bear his loss with resignation？〃
〃No question。〃
〃Gentlemen； listen to me！ HOW TO KILL AN UNCLE。 Silence！ （Cries of
〃Hush！ hush！〃） In the first place； take an uncle； large and stout；
seventy years old at least； they are the best uncles。 （Sensation。） Get
him to eat a pate de foie gras； any pretext will do。〃