按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
… Page 40…
Sketches of Young Couples
It not only appeared that the egotistical couple knew everybody； but
that scarcely any event of importance or notoriety had occurred for many
years with which they had not been in some way or other connected。 Thus
we learned that when the well…known attempt upon the life of George the
Third was made by Hatfield in Drury Lane theatre； the egotistical
gentleman's grandfather sat upon his right hand and was the first man who
collared him； and that the egotistical lady's aunt； sitting within a few boxes
of the royal party； was the only person in the audience who heard his
Majesty exclaim； 'Charlotte； Charlotte； don't be frightened； don't be
frightened； they're letting off squibs； they're letting off squibs。' When the
fire broke out； which ended in the destruction of the two Houses of
Parliament； the egotistical couple； being at the time at a drawing…room
window on Blackheath； then and there simultaneously exclaimed； to the
astonishment of a whole party … 'It's the House of Lords！' Nor was this a
solitary instance of their peculiar discernment； for chancing to be （as by a
comparison of dates and circumstances they afterwards found） in the same
omnibus with Mr。 Greenacre； when he carried his victim's head about
town in a blue bag； they both remarked a singular twitching in the muscles
of his countenance； and walking down Fish Street Hill； a few weeks since；
the egotistical gentleman said to his lady … slightly casting up his eyes to
the top of the Monument … 'There's a boy up there； my dear； reading a
Bible。 It's very strange。 I don't like it。 … In five seconds afterwards； Sir；'
says the egotistical gentleman； bringing his hands together with one
violent clap … 'the lad was over！'
Diversifying these topics by the introduction of many others of the
same kind； and entertaining us between whiles with a minute account of
what weather and diet agreed with them； and what weather and diet
disagreed with them； and at what time they usually got up； and at what
time went to bed； with many other particulars of their domestic economy
too numerous to mention； the egotistical couple at length took their leave；
and afforded us an opportunity of doing the same。
Mr。 and Mrs。 Sliverstone are an egotistical couple of another class； for
all the lady's egotism is about her husband； and all the gentleman's about
his wife。 For example：… Mr。 Sliverstone is a clerical gentleman； and
40
… Page 41…
Sketches of Young Couples
occasionally writes sermons； as clerical gentlemen do。 If you happen to
obtain admission at the street…door while he is so engaged； Mrs。
Sliverstone appears on tip…toe； and speaking in a solemn whisper； as if
there were at least three or four particular friends up…stairs； all upon the
point of death； implores you to be very silent； for Mr。 Sliverstone is
composing； and she need not say how very important it is that he should
not be disturbed。 Unwilling to interrupt anything so serious； you hasten to
withdraw； with many apologies； but this Mrs。 Sliverstone will by no
means allow； observing； that she knows you would like to see him； as it is
very natural you should； and that she is determined to make a trial for you；
as you are a great favourite。 So you are led up…stairs … still on tip…toe … to
the door of a little back room； in which； as the lady informs you in a
whisper； Mr。 Sliverstone always writes。 No answer being returned to a
couple of soft taps； the lady opens the door； and there； sure enough； is Mr。
Sliverstone； with dishevelled hair； powdering away with pen； ink； and
paper； at a rate which； if he has any power of sustaining it； would settle the
longest sermon in no time。 At first he is too much absorbed to be roused
by this intrusion； but presently looking up； says faintly； 'Ah！' and pointing
to his desk with a weary and languid smile； extends his hand； and hopes
you'll forgive him。 Then Mrs。 Sliverstone sits down beside him； and taking
his hand in hers； tells you how that Mr。 Sliverstone has been shut up there
ever since nine o'clock in the morning； （it is by this time twelve at noon；）
and how she knows it cannot be good for his health； and is very uneasy
about it。 Unto this Mr。 Sliverstone replies firmly； that 'It must be done；'
which agonizes Mrs。 Sliverstone still more； and she goes on to tell you
that such were Mr。 Sliverstone's labours last week … what with the buryings；
marryings； churchings； christenings； and all together； … that when he was
going up the pulpit stairs on Sunday evening； he was obliged to hold on by
the rails； or he would certainly have fallen over into his own pew。 Mr。
Sliverstone； who has been listening and smiling meekly； says； 'Not quite
so bad as that； not quite so bad！' he admits though； on cross…examination；
that he WAS very near falling upon the verger who was following him up
to bolt the door； but adds； that it was his duty as a Christian to fall upon
him； if need were； and that he； Mr。 Sliverstone； and （possibly the verger
41
… Page 42…
Sketches of Young Couples
too） ought to glory in it。
This sentiment communicates new impulse to Mrs。 Sliverstone； who
launches into new praises of Mr。 Sliverstone's worth and excellence； to
which he listens in the same meek silence； save when he puts in a word of
self…denial relative to some question of fact； as … 'Not seventy…two
christenings that week； my dear。 Only seventy…one； only seventy…one。' At
length his lady has quite concluded； and then he says； Why should he
repine； why should he give way； why should he suffer his heart to sink
within him？ Is it he alone who toils and suffers？ What has she gone
through； he should like to know？ What does she go through every day for
him and for society？
With such an exordium Mr。 Sliverstone launches out into glowing
praises of the conduct of Mrs。 Sliverstone in the production of eight young
children； and the subsequent rear