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surprise； to find such persons visibly affected with those
characteristic pathological marks that come of what is
conventionally called 〃high living〃 late hours； unseasonable
vigils； surfeit of victuals and drink； the fatigue of sedentary
ennui。 A flabby habit of body； hypertrophy of the abdomen；
varicose veins； particularly of the facial tissues； a blear eye
and a colouration suggestive of bile and apoplexy； when this
unwholesome bulk is duly wrapped in a conventionally decorous
costume it is accepted rather as a mark of weight and
responsibility； and so serves to distinguish the pillars of
urbane society。 Nor should it be imagined that these grave men of
affairs and discretion are in any peculiar degree prone to
excesses of the table or to nerve…shattering bouts of
dissipation。 The exigencies of publicity； however； are； by
current use and wont； such as to enjoin not indulgence in such
excursions of sensual perversity； so much as a gentlemanly
conformity to a large routine of conspicuous convivialities。
〃Indulgence〃 in ostensibly gluttonous bouts of this kind
banquets； dinners； etc。 is not so much a matter of taste as of
astute publicity； designed to keep the celebrants in repute among
a laity whose simplest and most assured award of esteem proceeds
on evidence of wasteful ability to pay。 But the pathological
consequences； physical and otherwise； are of much the same nature
in either case。
5。 See pp。 68…73； 79…81； above。
6。 As bearing on this 〃hired…man's loyalty〃 of the academic staff
and the means of maintaining it； see； e。g。； a paper by George
Cram Cook in the Forum for October； 1913； on 〃The Third American
Sex；〃 especially pp。 450…455。
7。 Unfortunately； the language wants a competent designation for
public…minded personages of this class； which comprises something
appreciably more than the homiletical university executives
alluded to above； and their understudies； while it is also not
strictly inclusive of all these executives。 There is indeed a
fairly obvious contingent comes in from among those minor
politicians and clergymen who crave the benefit of an inoffensive
notoriety； and who are at the same time solicitous to keep their
fellow…men in mind of the unforgotten commonplaces。 One will
necessarily have misgivings about putting forward a new technical
term for adoption into a vocabulary that is already top…heavy
with technical innovations。 〃Philandropist〃 has been suggested。
It is not a large innovation； and it has the merit of being
obviously self…explanatory。 At the same time its phonetic
resemblance to an older term； already well accepted in the
language； should recommend it to the members of the craft whom it
is designed to signalize； and with whom phonetic considerations
are habitually allowed weight。 The purists will doubtless find
〃philandropist〃 a barbarism； but that is an infirmity that has
attached to many technical designations at their inception；
without permanently hindering their acceptance and
serviceability； it is also not wholly unfitting that the term
chosen should be of such a character。
8。 〃The time has come； the walrus said；
To talk of many things。〃
Within the last few years one of the more illustrious and fluent
of the captains of erudition hit upon the expedient of having a
trusted locum tenens appointed to take over the functions of the
home office for a term of years； while the captain himself 〃takes
the road〃 on an appreciably augmented salary to speak his
mind eloquently on many topics。 The device can； however； scarcely
yet be said to have passed the experimental phase。 This
illustrious exponent of philandropism commands an extraordinary
range of homily and is a raconteur of quite exceptional merit；
and a device that commends itself in this special case；
therefore； may or may not prove a feasible plan in general and
ordinary usage。 But in any case it indicates a felt need of some
measure of relief； such as will enable the run of presidential
speech to gain a little something in amplitude and frequency。
9。 So； e。g。； a certain notably self…possessed and energetic
captain of erudition has been in the habit of repeating （〃on the
spur of the moment〃） a homily on one of the staple Christian
virtues。
10。 These resulting canons of blameless anility will react on the
character of the academic personnel in a two…fold way： negatively
and by indirection they work out in an （uncertain but effectual）
selective elimination of such persons as are worth while in point
of scholarship and initiative； while positively and by direct
incitement it results that the tribe of Lo Basswood has been
elected to fill the staff with vacancy。
At the same time the case is not unknown； nor is it
altogether a chance occurrence； where such an executive with
plenary powers； driven to uncommonly fatuous lengths by this
calculus of expedient notoriety； and intent on putting a needed
patch on the seat of his honour； has endeavoured to save some
remnant of good…will among his academic acquaintance by
protesting； in strict and confidential privacy； that his course
of action taken in conformity with these canons was taken for the
sake of popular effect； and not because he did not know better。
apparently having by familiar use come to the persuasion that a
knave is more to be esteemed than a fool； and overlooking the
great ease with which he has been able to combine the two
characters。
11。 In all fairness it should be noted； as a caution against
hasty conclusions； that in both of these cases this initial
scholarly intention has been questioned or denied by men
well informed as to the later state of things in either of the
two universities in question。 And it may as well be admitted
without much reservation that the later state of things has
carried no broad hint of an initial phase in the life…history of
these schools； in which ideals of scholarship were given first
consideration。 Yet it is to be taken as unequivocal fact that
such was the case； in both instances； this is known as an assured
matter of memory by men competent to speak from familiar
acquaintance with the relevant facts at the time。 In both cases；
it is only in the outcome； only after the pressure of
circumstances has had time to act； that a rounded meretricious
policy has taken effect。 What has misled hasty and late…come
observers in this matter is the relatively very brief
inconspicuously brief time interval during which it was found