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he babies； as if I had not the power to resist。 Never shall I forget what I saw in that bed。
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I found a letter on the table； and I came away； locking the door behind me； and took the lovely prattling orphans home。 I could but shake my head and weep； as I gave them to the care of Mrs Balwhidder； and she was terrified but said nothing。 I then read the letter。 It was to send the bairns to a gentleman； their uncle； in London。 Oh！ it is a terrible tale； but the winding…sheet and the earth is over it。 I sent for two of my elders。 I related what I had seen。 Two coffins were got； and the bodies laid in them； and the next day； with one of the fatherless bairns in each hand； I followed them to the grave； which was dug in that part of the kirkyard where unchristened babies are laid。 We durst not take it upon us to do more； but few knew the reason； and some thought it was because the deceased were strangers； and had no regular lair。
I dressed the two bonny orphans in the best mourning at my own cost； and kept them in the manse till we could get an answer from their uncle； to whom I sent their father's letter。 It stung him to the quick； and he came down all the way from London； and took the children away himself。 Oh！ he was a vexed man when the beautiful bairns； on being told he was their uncle； ran into his arms； and complained that their papa and mamma had slept so long； that they would never waken。
CHAPTER L YEAR 1809
As I come towards the events of these latter days； I am surprised to
find myself not at all so distinct in my recollection of them as in those of the first of my ministry； being apt to confound the things of one occasion with those of another； which Mrs Balwhidder says is an admonishment to me to leave off my writing。 But； please God； I will endeavour to fulfil this as I have through life tried； to the best of my capacity； to do every other duty； and； with the help of Mrs Balwhidder； who has a very clear understanding； I think I may get through my task in a creditable manner； which is all I aspire after； not writing for a vain world； but only to testify to posterity anent the great changes that have happened in my day and generationa period which all the best…informed writers say； has not had its match in the history of the world since the beginning of time。
By the failure of the cotton…mill company； whose affairs were not settled till the spring of this year； there was great suffering during the winter； but my people； those that still adhered to the establishment； bore their share of the dispensation with meekness and patience； nor was there wanting edifying monuments of resignation even among the stravaigers。
On the day that the Canaille Meeting…house was opened； which was in the summer； I was smitten to the heart to see the empty seats that were in my kirk； for all the thoughtless； and some that I had a better opinion of； went to hear the opening discourse。 Satan that day had power given to him to buffet me as he did Job of old； and when I looked around and saw the empty seats； my corruption rose； and I forgot myself in the remembering prayer； for when I prayed for all denominations of Christians； and worshippers； and infidels； I could not speak of the schismatics with patience； but entreated the Lord to do with the hobleshow at Cayenneville； as he saw meet in his displeasure； the which； when I came afterwards to think upon； I grieved at with a sore contrition。
In the course of the week following； the elders； in a body； came to me in the manse； and after much commendation of my godly ministry； they said； that seeing I was now growing old； they thought they could not testify their respect for me in a better manner than by agreeing to get me a helper。 But I would not at that time listen to such a proposal； for I felt no falling off in my powers of preaching； on the contrary； I found myself growing better at it； as I was enabled to hold forth； in an easy manner； often a whole half hour longer； than I could do a dozen years before。 Therefore nothing was done in this year anent my resignation； but during the winter； Mrs Balwhidder was often grieved； in the bad weather； that I should preach； and； in short； so worked upon my affections； that I began to think it was fitting for me to comply with the advice of my friends。 Accordingly； in the course of the winter； the elders began to cast about for a helper； and during the bleak weather in the ensuing spring； several young men spared me from the necessity of preaching。 But this relates to the concerns of the next and last year of my ministry。 So I will now proceed to give an account of it； very thankful that I have been permitted； in unmolested tranquillity； to bring my history to such a point。
CHAPTER LI YEAR 1810
My tasks are all near a close； and in writing this final record of my ministry； the very sound of my pen admonishes me that my life is a burden on the back of flying Time； that he will soon be obliged to lay down in his great storehousethe grave。 Old age has； indeed； long warned me to prepare for rest； and the darkened windows of my sight show that the night is coming on； while deafness； like a door fast barred； has shut out all the pleasant sounds of this world； and inclosed me； as it were； in a prison； even from the voices of my friends。
I have lived longer than the common lot of man； and I have seen； in my time； many mutations and turnings； and ups and downs； notwithstanding the great spread that has been in our national prosperity。 I have beheld them that were flourishing like the green bay…trees； made desolate； and their branches scattered。 But； in my own estate； I have had a large and liberal experience of goodness。
At the beginning of my ministry I was reviled and rejected； but my honest endeavours to prove a faithful shepherd were blessed from on high； and rewarded with the affection of my flock。 Perhaps； in the vanity of doting old age； I thought in this there was a merit due to myself； which made the Lord to send the chastisement of the Canaille schism among my people； for I was then wroth without judgment； and by my heat hastened into an open division the flaw that a more considerate manner might have healed。 But I confess my fault； and submit my cheek to the smiter； and now I see that the finger of Wisdom was in that probation； and it was far better that the weavers meddled with the things of God； which they could not change； than with those of the King； which they could only harm。 In that matter； however； I was like our gracious monarch in the American war； for though I thereby lost the pastoral allegiance of a portion of my people； in like manner as he did of his American subjects； yet； after the separation； I was enabled so to deport myself； that they showed me many voluntary testimonies of affectionate respect； and which it would be a vain glory in me to rehearse here。 One thing I must record； because it is as much to their honour as it is to mine。
When it was known that I was to preach my last sermon； every one of those who had been my hearers； and who had seceded to the Canaille meeting； made it a point that day to be in the parish kirk； and to stand in the crowd