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as my friends often rebukingly declared; did but ill express the keen ardor of my feelings。 I; in truth; regarded men with an excess both of love and of fear。 The mystery of a Person; indeed; is ever divine to him that has a sense for the Godlike。 Often; notwithstanding; was I blamed; and by half…strangers hated; for my so…called Hardness (_Harte_); my Indifferentism towards men; and the seemingly ironic tone I had adopted; as my favorite dialect in conversation。 Alas; the panoply of Sarcasm was but as a buckram case; wherein I had striven to envelop myself; that so my own poor Person might live safe there; and in all friendliness; being no longer exasperated by wounds。 Sarcasm I now see to be; in general; the language of the Devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it。 But how many individuals did I; in those days; provoke into some degree of hostility thereby! An ironic man; with his sly stillness; and ambuscading ways; more especially an ironic young man; from whom it is least expected; may be viewed as a pest to society。 Have we not seen persons of weight and name coming forward; with gentlest indifference; to tread such a one out of sight; as an insignificancy and worm; start ceiling…high (_balkenhock_); and thence fall shattered and supine; to be borne home on shutters; not without indignation; when he proved electric and a torpedo!〃
Alas; how can a man with this devilishness of temper make way for himself in Life; where the first problem; as Teufelsdrockh too admits; is 〃to unite yourself with some one; and with somewhat (_sich anzuschliessen_)〃? Division; not union; is written on most part of his procedure。 Let us add too that; in no great length of time; the only important connection he had ever succeeded in forming; his connection with the Zahdarm Family; seems to have been paralyzed; for all practical uses; by the death of the 〃not uncholeric〃 old Count。 This fact stands recorded; quite incidentally; in a certain _Discourse on Epitaphs_; huddled into the present Bag; among so much else; of which Essay the learning and curious penetration are more to be approved of than the spirit。 His grand principle is; that lapidary inscriptions; of what sort soever; should be Historical rather than Lyrical。 〃By request of that worthy Nobleman's survivors;〃 says he; 〃I undertook to compose his Epitaph; and not unmindful of my own rules; produced the following; which however; for an alleged defect of Latinity; a defect never yet fully visible to myself; still remains unengraven;〃wherein; we may predict; there is more than the Latinity that will surprise an English reader:
HIC JACET PHILIPPUS ZAEHDARM; COGNOMINE MAGNUS; ZAEHDARMI COMES; EX IMPERII CONCILIO; VELLERIS AUREI; PERISCELIDIS; NECNON VULTURIS NIGRI EQUES。 QUI DUM SUB LUNA AGEBAT; QUINQUIES MILLE PERDICES PLUMBO CONFECIT: VARII CIBI CENTUMPONDIA MILLIES CENTENA MILLIA; PER SE; PERQUE SERVOS QUADRUPEDES BIPEDESVE; HAUD SINE TUMULT DEVOLVENS; IN STERCUS PALAM CONVERTIT。 NUNC A LABORE REQUIESCENTEM OPERA SEQUUNTUR。 SI MONUMENTUM QUAERIS; FIMETUM ADSPICE。 PRIMUM IN ORBE DEJECIT '_sub dato_'; POSTREMUM '_sub dato_'。
CHAPTER V。 ROMANCE。
〃For long years;〃 writes Teufelsdrockh; 〃had the poor Hebrew; in this Egypt of an Auscultatorship; painfully toiled; baking bricks without stubble; before ever the question once struck him with entire force: For what?_Beym Himmel_! For Food and Warmth! And are Food and Warmth nowhere else; in the whole wide Universe; discoverable?Come of it what might; I resolved to try。〃
Thus then are we to see him in a new independent capacity; though perhaps far from an improved one。 Teufelsdrockh is now a man without Profession。 Quitting the common Fleet of herring…busses and whalers; where indeed his leeward; laggard condition was painful enough; he desperately steers off; on a course of his own; by sextant and compass of his own。 Unhappy Teufelsdrockh! Though neither Fleet; nor Traffic; nor Commodores pleased thee; still was it not _a Fleet_; sailing in prescribed track; for fixed objects; above all; in combination; wherein; by mutual guidance; by all manner of loans and borrowings; each could manifoldly aid the other? How wilt thou sail in unknown seas; and for thyself find that shorter Northwest Passage to thy fair Spice…country of a Nowhere?A solitary rover; on such a voyage; with such nautical tactics; will meet with adventures。 Nay; as we forthwith discover; a certain Calypso…Island detains him at the very outset; and as it were falsifies and oversets his whole reckoning。
〃If in youth;〃 writes he once; 〃the Universe is majestically unveiling; and everywhere Heaven revealing itself on Earth; nowhere to the Young Man does this Heaven on Earth so immediately reveal itself as in the Young Maiden。 Strangely enough; in this strange life of ours; it has been so appointed。 On the whole; as I have often said; a Person (_Personlichkeit_) is ever holy to us; a certain orthodox Anthropomorphism connects my _Me_ with all _Thees_ in bonds of Love: but it is in this approximation of the Like and Unlike; that such heavenly attraction; as between Negative and Positive; first burns out into a flame。 Is the pitifullest mortal Person; think you; indifferent to us? Is it not rather our heartfelt wish to be made one with him; to unite him to us; by gratitude; by admiration; even by fear; or failing all these; unite ourselves to him? But how much more; in this case of the Like…Unlike! Here is conceded us the higher mystic possibility of such a union; the highest in our Earth; thus; in the conducting medium of Fantasy; flames forth that fire…development of the universal Spiritual Electricity; which; as unfolded between man and woman; we first emphatically denominate LOVE。
〃In every well…conditioned stripling; as I conjecture; there already blooms a certain prospective Paradise; cheered by some fairest Eve; nor; in the stately vistas; and flowerage and foliage of that Garden; is a Tree of Knowledge; beautiful and awful in the midst thereof; wanting。 Perhaps too the whole is but the lovelier; if Cherubim and a Flaming Sword divide it from all footsteps of men; and grant him; the imaginative stripling; only the view; not the entrance。 Happy season of virtuous youth; when shame is still an impassable celestial barrier; and the sacred air…cities of Hope have not shrunk into the mean clay…hamlets of Reality; and man; by his nature; is yet infinite and free!
〃As for our young Forlorn;〃 continues Teufelsdrockh evidently meaning himself; 〃in his secluded way of life; and with his glowing Fantasy; the more fiery that it burnt under cover; as in a reverberating furnace; his feeling towards the Queens of this Earth was; and indeed is; altogether unspeakable。 A visible Divinity dwelt in them; to our young Friend all women were holy; were heavenly。 As yet he but saw them flitting past; in their many…colored angel…plumage; or hovering mute and inaccessible on the outskirts of _AEsthetic Tea_: all of air they were; all Soul and Form; so lovely; like mysterious priestesses; in whose hand was the invisible Jacob's…ladder; w