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my brother had got out some of our pork and
opened a barrel of flour。 With this help the woman
made some biscuits； which were so green that my
poor mother could not eat them。 She had admitted
to us that the one thing she had in the house was
saleratus； and she had used this ingredient with an
unsparing hand。 When the meal was eaten she
broke the further news that there were no beds。
‘‘The old woman can sleep with me；'' she sug…
gested； ‘‘and the girls can sleep on the floor。 The
boys will have to go to the barn。''
She and her bed were not especially attractive；
and mother decided to lie on the floor with us。 We
had taken our bedding from the wagon； and we slept
very well； but though she was usually superior to
small annoyances； I think my mother resented being
called an ‘‘old woman。'' She must have felt like
one that night； but she was only about forty…eight
years of age。
At dawn the next morning we resumed our jour…
ney； and every day after that we were able to cover
the distance demanded by the schedule arranged
before we started。 This meant that some sort of
shelter usually awaited us at night。 But one day
we knew there would be no houses between the place
we left in the morning and that where we were to
sleep。 The distance was about twenty miles； and
when twilight fell we had not made it。 In the back
of the wagon my mother had a box of little pigs；
and during the afternoon these had broken loose and
escaped into the woods。 We had lost much time in
finding them； and we were so exhausted that when
we came to a hut made of twigs and boughs we de…
cided to camp in it for the night； though we knew
nothing about it。 My brother had unharnessed
the horses； and my mother and sister were cooking
dough…goda mixture of flour； water； and soda；
fried in a pan…when two men rode up on horse…
back and called my brother to one side。 Immedi…
ately after the talk which followed James harnessed
his horses again and forced us to go on； though by
that time darkness had fallen。 He told mother； but
did not tell us children until long afterward； that a
man had been murdered in the hut only the night
before。 The murderer was still at large in the woods；
and the new…comers were members of a posse who
were searching for him。 My brother needed no
urging to put as many miles as he could between
us and the sinister spot。
In that fashion we made our way to our new home。
The last day； like the first； we traveled only eight
miles； but we spent the night in a house I shall never
forget。 It was beautifully clean； and for our eve…
ning meal its mistress brought out loaves of bread
which were the largest we had ever seen。 She cut
great slices of this bread for us and spread maple
sugar on them； and it seemed to us that never be…
fore had anything tasted so good。
The next morning we made the last stage of our
journey； our hearts filled with the joy of nearing
our new home。 We all had an idea that we were
going to a farm； and we expected some resemblance
at least to the prosperous farms we had seen in New
England。 My mother's mental picture was； natu…
rally； of an English farm。 Possibly she had visions
of red barns and deep meadows； sunny skies and
daisies。 What we found awaiting us were the four
walls and the roof of a good…sized log…house； stand…
ing in a small cleared strip of the wilderness； its doors
and windows represented by square holes； its floor
also a thing of the future； its whole effect achingly
forlorn and desolate。 It was late in the afternoon
when we drove up to the opening that was its front
entrance； and I shall never forget the look my
mother turned upon the place。 Without a word
she crossed its threshold； and； standing very still；
looked slowly around her。 Then something within
her seemed to give way； and she sank upon the
ground。 She could not realize even then； I think；
that this was really the place father had prepared
for us； that here he expected us to live。 When she
finally took it in she buried her face in her hands；
and in that way she sat for hours without moving or
speaking。 For the first time in her life she had for…
gotten us； and we； for our part； dared not speak to
her。 We stood around her in a frightened group；
talking to one another in whispers。 Our little world
had crumbled under our feet。 Never before had
we seen our mother give way to despair。
Night began to fall。 The woods became alive
with night creatures； and the most harmless made
the most noise。 The owls began to hoot； and soon
we heard the wildcat； whose crya screech like
that of a lost and panic…stricken childis one of
the most appalling sounds of the forest。 Later the
wolves added their howls to the uproar； but though
darkness came and we children whimpered around
her； our mother still sat in her strange lethargy。
At last my brother brought the horses close to the
cabin and built fires to protect them and us。 He
was only twenty； but he showed himself a man dur…
ing those early pioneer days。 While he was picketing
the horses and building his protecting fires my
mother came to herself； but her face when she
raised it was worse than her silence had been。 She
seemed to have died and to have returned to us
from the grave； and I am sure she felt that she had
done so。 From that moment she took up again the
burden of her life； a burden she did not lay down
until she passed away； but her face never lost the
deep lines those first hours of her pioneer life had
cut upon it。
That night we slept on boughs spread on the earth
inside the cabin walls； and we put blankets before
the holes which represented our doors and windows；
and kept our watch…fires burning。 Soon the other
children fell asleep； but there was no sleep for me。
I was only twelve years old； but my mind was full of
fancies。 Behind our blankets； swaying in the night
wind； I thought I saw the heads and pushing shoul…
ders of animals and heard their padded footfalls。
Later years brought familiarity with wild things；
and with worse things than they。 But to…night that
which I most feared was within； not outside of； the
cabin。 In some way which I did not understand
the one sure refuge in our new world had been taken
from us。 I hardly knew the silent woman who lay
near me； tossing from side to side and staring into
the darkness； I felt that we had lost our mother。
II
IN THE WILDERNESS
Like most men； my dear father should never
have married。 Though his nature was one of
the sweetest I have ever known； and though he would
at any call give his time to or risk his life for others；
in practical matters he remained to the end of his
days as irresponsible as a child。 If his mind turned
to practical details at all； it was solely in their bear…
ing toward great developments of the future。 To
him an acorn was not an acorn； but a for