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‘‘and the one boy I kept home was the only boy
I lost。 I ain't a…goin' to be a Providence no
more。''
The number of funerals on Cape Cod was tragi…
cally large。 I was in great demand on these occa…
sions； and went all over the Cape； conducting fune…
ral serviceswhich seemed to be the one thing people
thought I could doand preaching funeral sermons。
Besides the victims of the sea； many of the resi…
dents who had drifted away were brought back to
sleep their last sleep within sound of the waves。
Once I asked an old sea…captain why so many Cape
Cod men and women who had been gone for years
asked to be buried near their old homes； and his reply
still lingers in my memory。 He poked his toe in
the sand for a moment and then said； slowly：
‘‘Wal； I reckon it's because the Cape has such
warm； comfortable sand to lie down in。''
My friend Mrs。 Addy lay in the Crowell family
lot； and during my pastorate at East Dennis I
preached the funeral sermon of her father； and later
of her mother。 Long after I had left Cape Cod I
was frequently called back to say the last words
over the coffins of my old friends； and the saddest
of those journeys was the one I made in response to
a telegram from the mother of Relief Paine。 When
I had arrived and we stood together beside the ex…
quisite figure that seemed hardly more quiet in
death than in life； Mrs。 Paine voiced in her few
words the feeling of the whole community‘‘Where
shall we get our comfort and our inspiration； now
that Relief is gone？''
The funeral which took all my courage from me；
however； was that of my sister Mary。 In its sudden…
ness； Mary's death； in 1883； was as a thunderbolt
from the blue； for she had been in perfect health
three days before she passed away。 I was still in
charge of my two parishes in Cape Cod； but； as it
mercifully happened； before she was stricken I had
started West to visit Mary in her home at Big
Rapids。 When I arrived on the second day of her
illness； knowing nothing of it until I reached her；
I found her already past hope。 Her disease was
pneumonia； but she was conscious to the end； and
her greatest desire seemed to be to see me christen
her little daughter and her husband before she left
them。 This could not be realized； for my brother…
in…law was absent on business； and with all his
haste in returning did not reach his wife's side until
after her death。 As his one thought then was to
carry out her last wishes； I christened him and his
little girl just before the funeral； and during the
ceremony we all experienced a deep conviction
that Mary knew and was content。
She had become a power in her community； and
was so dearly loved that on the day her body was
borne to its last resting…place all the business houses
in Big Rapids were closed； and the streets were filled
with men who stood with bent； uncovered heads as
the funeral procession went by。 My father and
mother； also； to whom she had given a home after
they left the log…cabin where they had lived so long；
had made many friends in their new environment
and were affectionately known throughout the whole
region as ‘‘Grandma and Grandpa Shaw。''
When I returned to East Dennis I brought my
mother and Mary's three children with me； and
they remained throughout the spring and summer。
I had hoped that they would remain permanently；
and had rented and furnished a home for them with
that end in view； but； though they enjoyed their
visit； the prospect of the bleak winters of Cape Cod
disturbed my mother； and they all returned to Big
Rapids late in the autumn。 Since entering upon my
parish work it had been possible for me to help my
father and mother financially； and from the time
of Mary's death I had the privilege； a very precious
one； of seeing that they were well cared for and con…
tented。 They were always appreciative； and as
time passed they became more reconciled to the
career I had chosen； and which in former days had
filled them with such dire forebodings。
After I had been in East Dennis four years I be…
gan to feel that I was getting into a rut。 It seemed
to me that all I could do in that particular field had
been done。 My people wished me to remain； how…
ever； and so； partly as an outlet for my surplus
energy； but more especially because I realized the
splendid work women could do as physicians； I be…
gan to study medicine。 The trustees gave me per…
mission to go to Boston on certain days of each week；
and we soon found that I could carry on my work
as a medical student without in the least neglecting
my duty toward my parish。
I entered the Boston Medical School in 1882； and
obtained my diploma as a full…fledged physician in
1885。 During this period I also began to lecture
for the Massachusetts Woman Suffrage Association；
of which Lucy Stone was president。 Henry Black…
well was associated with her； and together they de…
veloped in me a vital interest in the suffrage cause；
which grew steadily from that time until it became
the dominating influence in my life。 I preached it
in the pulpit； talked it to those I met outside of the
church； lectured on it whenever I had an oppor…
tunity； and carried it into my medical work in the
Boston slums when I was trying my prentice hand
on helpless pauper patients。
Here again； in my association with the women of
the streets； I realized the limitations of my work in
the ministry and in medicine。 As minister to soul
and body one could do little for these women。 For
such as them； one's efforts must begin at the very
foundation of the social structure。 Laws for them
must be made and enforced； and some of those laws
could only be made and enforced by women。 So
many great avenues of life were opening up before
me that my Cape Cod environment seemed almost
a prison where I was held with tender force。 I
loved my people and they loved mebut the big
outer world was calling； and I could not close my
ears to its summons。 The suffrage lectures helped
to keep me contented； however； and I was certainly
busy enough to find happiness in my work。
I was in Boston three nights a week； and during
these nights subject to sick calls at any hour。 My
favorite associates were Dr。 Caroline Hastings； our
professor of anatomy； and little Dr。 Mary Safford；
a mite of a woman with an indomitable soul。 Dr。
Safford was especially prominent in philanthropic
work in Massachusetts； and it was said of her that
at any hour of the day or night she could be found
working in the slums of Boston。 I； too； could fre…
quently be found thereoften； no doubt； to the dis…
advantage of my patients。 I was quite famous in
three Boston alleysMaiden's Lane； Fellows Court；
and Andrews Court。 It most fortunately happened
that I did not lose a case in those alleys； though I
took all kinds； as I had to treat a certain number
of surgical and obstetrical