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much as they now earn after being ordained； it seems
fairly clear that they will never have to support her。
We can only hope that she will never have to sup…
port them。''
The three young ministers subsided into their
seats with painful abruptness； and from that time
my opponents were more careful in their remarks。
Still； many unpleasant things were said； and too
much warmth was shown by both sides。 We
gained ground through the day； however； and at
the end of the session the Conference； by a large
majority； voted to ordain me。
The ordination service was fixed for the following
evening； and even the gentlemen who had most
vigorously opposed me were not averse to making
the occasion a profitable one。 The contention had
already enormously advertised the Conference； and
the members now helped the good work along by
sending forth widespread announcements of the
result。 They also decided that； as the attendance
at the service would be very large； they would take
up a collection for the support of superannuated
ministers。 The three young men who had feared I
would become a burden were especially active in
the matter of this collection； and； as they had no
sense of humor； it did not seem incongruous to them
to use my ordination as a means of raising money
for men who had already become burdens to the
Church。
When the great night came （on October 12； 1880）；
the expected crowd came also。 And to the credit
of my opponents I must add that； having lost their
fight； they took their defeat in good part and grace…
fully assisted in the services。 Sitting in one of the
front pews was Mrs。 Stiles； the wife of Dr。 Stiles；
who was superintendent of the Conference。 She
was a dear little old lady of seventy； with a big；
maternal heart； and when she saw me rise to walk
up the aisle alone； she immediately rose； too； came
to my side； offered me her arm； and led me to the
altar。
The ordination service was very impressive and
beautiful。 Its peace and dignity； following the
battle that had raged for days； moved me so deep…
ly that I was nearly overcome。 Indeed； I was on
the verge of a breakdown when I was mercifully
saved by the clause in the discipline calling for the
pledge all ministers had to makethat I would
not indulge in the use of tobacco。 When this vow
fell from my lips a perceptible ripple ran over the
congregation。
I was homesick for my Cape Cod parish； and I
returned to East Dennis immediately after my
ordination； arriving there on Saturday night。 I
knew by the suppressed excitement of my friends
that some surprise awaited me； but I did not learn
what it was until I entered my dear little church
the following morning。 There I found the com…
munion…table set forth with a beautiful new com…
munion…service。 This had been purchased during
my absence； that I might dedicate it that day and
for the first time administer the sacrament to my
people。
VI
CAPE COD MEMORIES
Looking back now upon those days； I see my
Cape Cod friends as clearly as if the interven…
ing years had been wiped out and we were again to…
gether。 Among those I most loved were two widely
differing typesCaptain Doane； a retired sea…cap…
tain； and Relief Paine； an invalid chained to her
couch； but whose beautiful influence permeated the
community like an atmosphere。 Captain Doane
was one of the finest men I have ever knownhigh…
minded； tolerant； sympathetic； and full of under…
standing； He was not only my friend； but my
church barometer。 He occupied a front pew； close
to the pulpit； and when I was preaching without
making much appeal he sat looking me straight in
the face； listening courteously； but without interest。
When I got into my subject； he would lean forward
the angle at which he sat indicating the degree
of attention I had arousedand when I was strongly
holding my congregation Brother Doane would bend
toward me； following every word I uttered with
corresponding motions of his lips。 When I resigned
we parted with deep regret； but it was not until I
visited the church several years afterward that he
overcame his reserve enough to tell me how much
he had felt my going。
‘‘Oh； did you？'' I asked； greatly touched。 ‘‘You're
not saying that merely to please me？''
The old man's hand fell on my shoulder。 ‘‘I miss
you；'' he said； simply。 ‘‘I miss you all the time。
You see； I love you。'' Then； with precipitate self…
consciousness； he closed the door of his New England
heart； and from some remote corner of it sent out
his cautious after…thought。 ‘‘I love you；'' he re…
peated； primly； ‘‘as a sister in the Lord。''
Relief Paine lived in Brewster。 Her name seemed
prophetic； and she once told me that she had always
considered it so。 Her brother…in…law was my Sun…
day…school superintendent； and her family belonged
to my church。 Very soon after my arrival in East
Dennis I went to see her； and found her； as she al…
ways was； dressed in white and lying on a tiny white
bed covered with pansies； in a room whose windows
overlooked the sea。 I shall never forget the picture
she made。 Over her shoulders was an exquisite
white lace shawl brought from the other side of the
world by some seafaring friend； and against her
white pillow her hair seemed the blackest I had
ever seen。 When I entered she turned and looked
toward me with wonderful dark eyes that were quite
blind； and as she talked her hands played with the
pansies around her。 She loved pansies as she
loved few human beings； and she knew their colors
by touching them。 She was then a little more than
thirty years of age。 At sixteen she had fallen down…
stairs in the dark； receiving an injury that paralyzed
her； and for fifteen years she had lain on one side；
perfectly still； the Stella Maris of the Cape。 All
who came to her； and they were many； went away
the better for the visit； and the mere mention of
her name along the coast softened eyes that had
looked too bitterly on life。
Relief and I became close friends。 I was greatly
drawn to her； and deeply moved by the tragedy of
her situation； as well as by the beautiful spirit with
which she bore it。 During my first visit I regaled
her with stories of the community and of my own
experiences； and when I was leaving it occurred to
me that possibly I had been rather frivolous。 So
I said：
‘‘I am coming to see you often； and when I come
I want to do whatever will interest you most。 Shall
I bring some books and read to you？''
Relief smiledthe gay； mischievous little smile
I was soon to know so well； but which at first seemed
out of place on the tragic mask of her face。
‘‘No； don't read to me；'' she decided。 ‘‘There
are enough ready to do that。 Talk to me。 Tell
me about our life and our people here； as they
strike you。'' And she added； slowly： ‘‘You are a
queer minister。 You have