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she had a tumor on the brain。 She had had a great
shock in her lifethe tragic death of her husband
at sea during their wedding tour around the world
and it was believed that her disease dated from that
time。 Nothing could be done for her； and she failed
daily during our second year together； and died in
March； 1878； just before I finished my theological
course and while I was still temporary pastor of the
church at Hingham。 Every moment I could take
from my parish and my studies I spent with her； and
those were sorrowful months。 In her poor； tortured
brain the idea formed that I； not she； was the sick
person in our family of two； and when we were at
home together she insisted that I must lie down and
let her nurse me； then for hours she brooded over
me； trying to relieve the agony she believed I was
experiencing。 When at last she was at peace her
father and I took her home to Cape Cod and laid
her in the graveyard of the little church where we
had met at the beginning of our brief and beautiful
friendship； and the subsequent loneliness I felt
was far greater than any I had ever suffered in the
past； for now I had learned the meaning of com…
panionship。
Three months after Mrs。 Addy's death I grad…
uated。 She had planned to take me abroad； and
during our first winter together we had spent count…
less hours talking and dreaming of our European
wanderings。 When she found that she must die she
made her will and left me fifteen hundred dollars
for the visit to Europe； insisting that I must carry
out the plan we had made； and during her conscious
periods she constantly talked of this and made me
promise that I would go。 After her death it seemed
to me that to go without her was impossible。 Every…
thing of beauty I looked upon would hold memories
of her； keeping fresh my sorrow and emphasizing
my loneliness； but it was her last expressed desire
that I should go； and I went。
First； however； I had graduatedclad in a brand…
new black silk gown； and with five dollars in my
pocket； which I kept there during the graduation
exercises。 I felt a special satisfaction in the pos…
session of that money； for； notwithstanding the
handicap of being a woman； I was said to be the
only member of my class who had worked during
the entire course； graduated free from debt； and
had a new outfit as well as a few dollars in cash。
I graduated without any special honors。 Pos…
sibly I might have won some if I had made the effort；
but my graduation year； as I have just explained；
had been very difficult。 As it was； I was merely a
good average student； feeling my isolation as the
only woman in my class； but certainly not spurring
on my men associates by the display of any brilliant
gifts。 Naturally； I missed a great deal of class
fellowship and class support； and throughout my
entire course I rarely entered my class…room with…
out the abysmal conviction that I was not really
wanted there。 But some of the men were good…
humoredly cordial； and several of them are among
my friends to…day。 Between myself and my family
there still existed the breach I had created when
I began to preach。 With the exception of Mary and
James； my people openly regarded me； during my
theological course； as a dweller in outer darkness；
and even my mother's love was clouded by what
she felt to be my deliberate and persistent flouting
of her wishes。
Toward the end of my university experience； how…
ever； an incident occurred which apparently changed
my mother's viewpoint。 She was now living with
my sister Mary； in Big Rapids； Michigan； and； on
the occasion of one of my rare and brief visits to
them I was invited to preach in the local church。
Here； for the first time； my mother heard me。
Dutifully escorted by one of my brothers； she at…
tended church that morning in a state of shivering
nervousness。 I do not know what she expected me
to do or say； but toward the end of the sermon it
became clear that I had not justified her fears。
The look of intense apprehension left her eyes； her
features relaxed into placidity； and later in the day
she paid me the highest compliment I had yet re…
ceived from a member of my family。
‘‘I liked the sermon very much；'' she peacefully
told my brother。 ‘‘Anna didn't say anything about
hell； or about anything else！''
When we laughed at this handsome tribute； she
hastened to qualify it。
‘‘What I mean；'' she explained； ‘‘is that Anna
didn't say anything objectionable in the pulpit！''
And with this recognition I was content。
Between the death of my friend and my departure
for Europe I buried myself in the work of the uni…
versity and of my little church； and as if in answer
to the call of my need； Mary E。 Livermore； who had
given me the first professional encouragement I
had ever received； re…entered my life。 Her husband；
like myself； was pastor of a church in Hingham； and
whenever his finances grew low； or there was need
of a fund for some special purposeconditions that
usually exist in a small churchhis brilliant wife
came to his assistance and raised the money； while
her husband retired modestly to the background
and regarded her with adoring eyes。 On one of
these occasions； I remember； when she entered the
pulpit to preach her sermon； she dropped her bon…
net and coat on an unoccupied chair。 A little later
there was need of this chair； and Mr。 Livermore；
who sat under the pulpit； leaned forward； picked up
the garments； and； without the least trace of self…
consciousness； held them in his lap throughout the
sermon。 One of the members of the church； who
appeared to be irritated by the incident； later spoke
of it to him and added； sardonically； ‘‘How does it
feel to be merely ‘Mrs。 Livermore's husband'？''
In reply Mr。 Livermore flashed on him one of his
charming smiles。 ‘‘Why； I'm very proud of it；''
he said； with the utmost cheerfulness。 ‘‘You see；
I'm the only man in the world who has that dis…
tinction。''
They were a charming couple； the Livermores；
and they deserved far more than they received from
a world to which they gave so freely and so richly。
To me； as to others； they were more than kind； and
I never recall them without a deep feeling of grati…
tude and an equally deep sense of loss in their passing。
It was during this period； also； that I met Frances
E。 Willard。 There was a great Moody revival in
progress in Boston； and Miss Willard was the right…
hand assistant of Mr。 Moody。 To her that revival
must have been marked with a star； for during it
she met for the first time Miss Anna Gordon； who
became her life…long friend and her biographer。
The meetings also laid the foundation of our friend…
ship； and for many years Miss Willard and I were
closely associated in work and affection。
On the second or third night of the revival； dur…
ing one of the ‘‘mixed meetings；'' atten