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Renesmee's hand touched my cheek lightly。
She showed me my own face； Edward's； Jacob's； Rosalie's； Esme's； Carlisle's； Alice's； Jasper's； flipping
through all our family's faces faster and faster。 Seth and Leah。 Charlie； Sue； and Billy。 Over and over
again。 Worrying； like the rest of us were。 She was only worrying； though。 Jake had kept the worst from
her as far as I could tell。 The part about how we had no hope； how we all were going to die in a month's
time。
She settled on Alice's face； longing and confused。 Where was Alice？
〃I don't know；〃 I whispered。 〃But she's Alice。 She's doing the right thing； like always。〃
The right thing for Alice； anyway。 I hated thinking of her that way； but how else could the situation be
understood？
Renesmee sighed； and the longing intensified。
〃I miss her； too。〃
I felt my face working； trying to find the expression that went with the grief inside。 My eyes felt strange
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and dry； they blinked against the uncomfortable feeling。 I bit my lip。 When I took my next breath； the air
hitched in my throat； like I was choking on it。
Renesmee pulled back to look at me； and I saw my face mirrored in her thoughts and in her eyes。 I
looked like Esme had this morning。
So this was what it felt like to cry。
Renesmee's eyes glistened wetly as she watched my face。 She stroked my face； showing me nothing；
just trying to soothe me。
I'd never thought to see the mother…daughter bond reversed between us； the way it had always been for
Renee and me。 But I hadn't had a very clear view of the future。
A tear welled up on the edge of Renesmee's eye。 I wiped it away with a kiss。 She touched her eye in
amazement and then looked at the wetness on her fingertip。
〃Don't cry；〃 I told her。 〃It's going to be okay。 You're going to be fine。 I will find you a way through this。〃
If there was nothing else I could do； I would still save my Renesmee。 I was more positive than ever that
this was what Alice would give me。 She would know。 She would have left me a way。
30。 IRRESISTIBLE
There was so much to think about。
How was I going to find time alone to hunt down J。 Jenks； and why did Alice want me to know about
him？
If Alice's clue had nothing to do with Renesmee； what could I do to save my daughter？
How were Edward and I going to explain things to Tanya's family in the morning？ What if they reacted
like Irina？ What if it turned into a fight？
I didn't know how to fight。 How was I going to learn in just a month？ Was there any chance at all that I
could be taught fast enough that I might be a danger to any one member of the Volturi？ Or was I
doomed to be totally useless？ Just another easily dispatched newborn？
So many answers I needed； but I did not get the chance to ask my questions。
Wanting some normality for Renesmee； I'd insisted on taking her home to our cottage at bedtime。 Jacob
was more comfortable in his wolf form at the moment； the stress was easier dealt with when he felt ready
for a fight。 I wished that I could feel the same； could feel ready。 He ran in the woods； on guard again。
After she was deeply under； I put Renesmee in her bed and then went to the front room to ask my
questions of Edward。 The ones I was able to ask； at any rate； one of the most difficult of problems was
the idea of trying to hide anything from him； even with the advantage of my silent thoughts。
He stood with his back to me； staring into the fire。
〃Edward； I—〃
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He spun and was across the room in what seemed like no time at all； not even the smallest part of a
second。 I only had time to register the ferocious expression on his face before his lips were crushing
against mine and his arms were locked around me like steel girders。
I didn't think of my questions again for the rest of that night。 It didn't take long for me to grasp the reason
for his
mood； and even less time to feel exactly the same way。
I'd been planning on needing years just to somewhat organize the overwhelming passion I felt for him
physically。 And then centuries after that to enjoy it。 if we had only a month left together。。。 Well； I didn't
see how I could stand to have this end。 For the moment I couldn't help but be selfish。 All I wanted was to
love him as much as possible in the limited time given to me。
It was hard to pull myself away from him when the sun came up； but we had our job to do； a job that
might be more difficult than all the rest of our family's searches put together。 As soon as I let myself think
of what was coming； i was all tension； it felt like my nerves were being stretched on a rack； thinner and
thinner。
〃I wish there was a way to get the information we need from Eleazar before we tell them about Nessie；〃
Edward muttered as we hurriedly dressed in the huge closet that was more reminder of Alice than I
wanted at the moment。 〃Just in case。〃
〃But he wouldn't understand the question to answer it；〃 I agreed。 〃Do you think they'll let us explain？〃
〃I don't know。〃
I pulled Renesmee； still sleeping； from her bed and held her close so that her curls were pressed against
my face； her sweet scent； so close； overpowered every other smell。
I couldn't waste one second of time today。 There were answers I needed； and wasn't sure how much
time Edward and I would have alone today。 If all went well with Tanya's family； hopefully we would have
company for an extended period。
〃Edward； will you teach me how to fight？〃 I asked him； tensed for his reaction； as he held the door for
me。
It was what I expected。 He froze； and then his eyes swept over me with a deep significance； like he was
looking at me for the first or last time。 His eyes lingered on our daughter sleeping in my arms。
〃If it comes to a fight； there won't be much any of us can do；〃 he hedged。
I kept my voice even。 〃Would you leave me unable to defend myself？〃
He swallowed convulsively； and the door shuddered； hinges protesting； as his hand tightened。 Then he
nodded。 〃When you put it that way。。。 I suppose we should get to work as soon as we can。〃
I nodded； too； and we started toward the big house。 We didn't hurry。
I wondered what I could do that would have any hope of making a difference。 I was a tiny bit special； in
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my own way—if a having a supematurally thick skull could really be considered special。 Was there any
use that I could put that toward？
〃What would you say their biggest advantage is？ Do they even have a weakness？〃
Edward didn't have to ask to know I me