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ANA。 You are preparing some torment for me。
DON JUAN。 All that is superstition； Ana。 Reassure yourself。
Remember： the devil is not so black as he is painted。
THE STATUE。 Let us give him a call。
At the wave of the statue's hand the great chords roll out again
but this time Mozart's music gets grotesquely adulterated with
Gounod's。 A scarlet halo begins to glow； and into it the Devil
rises； very Mephistophelean； and not at all unlike Mendoza；
though not so interesting。 He looks older； is getting prematurely
bald； and； in spite of an effusion of goodnature and friendliness；
is peevish and sensitive when his advances are not reciprocated。
He does not inspire much confidence in his powers of hard work or
endurance； and is； on the whole； a disagreeably self…indulgent
looking person； but he is clever and plausible； though
perceptibly less well bred than the two other men； and enormously
less vital than the woman。
THE DEVIL。 ＇heartily＇ Have I the pleasure of again receiving a
visit from the illustrious Commander of Calatrava？ ＇Coldly＇ Don
Juan； your servant。 ＇Politely＇ And a strange lady？ My respects；
Senora。
ANA。 Are you
THE DEVIL。 ＇bowing＇ Lucifer； at your service。
ANA。 I shall go mad。
THE DEVIL。 ＇gallantly＇ Ah； Senora； do not be anxious。 You come to
us from earth； full of the prejudices and terrors of that
priest…ridden place。 You have heard me ill spoken of； and yet；
believe me； I have hosts of friends there。
ANA。 Yes： you reign in their hearts。
THE DEVIL。 ＇shaking his head＇ You flatter me； Senora； but you are
mistaken。 It is true that the world cannot get on without me； but
it never gives me credit for that： in its heart it mistrusts and
hates me。 Its sympathies are all with misery； with poverty； with
starvation of the body and of the heart。 I call on it to
sympathize with joy； with love； with happiness； with beauty。
DON JUAN。 ＇nauseated＇ Excuse me： I am going。 You know I cannot
stand this。
THE DEVIL。 ＇angrily＇ Yes： I know that you are no friend of mine。
THE STATUE。 What harm is he doing you； Juan？ It seems to me that
he was talking excellent sense when you interrupted him。
THE DEVIL。 ＇warmly shaking the statue's hand＇ Thank you； my
friend： thank you。 You have always understood me： he has always
disparaged and avoided me。
DON JUAN。 I have treated you with perfect courtesy。
THE DEVIL。 Courtesy！ What is courtesy？ I care nothing for mere
courtesy。 Give me warmth of heart； true sincerity； the bond of
sympathy with love and joy
DON JUAN。 You are making me ill。
THE DEVIL。 There！ ＇Appealing to the statue＇ You hear； sir！ Oh； by
what irony of fate was this cold selfish egotist sent to my
kingdom； and you taken to the icy mansions of the sky！
THE STATUE。 I can't complain。 I was a hypocrite； and it served me
right to be sent to heaven。
THE DEVIL。 Why； sir； do you not join us； and leave a sphere for
which your temperament is too sympathetic； your heart too warm；
your capacity for enjoyment too generous？
THE STATUE。 I have this day resolved to do so。 In future；
excellent Son of the Morning； I am yours。 I have left Heaven for
ever。
THE DEVIL。 ＇again grasping his hand＇ Ah； what an honor for me！
What a triumph for our cause！ Thank you； thank you。 And now； my
friendI may call you so at lastcould you not persuade HIM
to take the place you have left vacant above？
THE STATUE。 ＇shaking his head＇ I cannot conscientiously recommend
anybody with whom I am on friendly terms to deliberately make
himself dull and uncomfortable。
THE DEVIL。 Of course not； but are you sure HE would be
uncomfortable？ Of course you know best： you brought him here
originally； and we had the greatest hopes of him。 His sentiments
were in the best taste of our best people。 You remember how he
sang？ ＇He begins to sing in a nasal operatic baritone； tremulous
from an eternity of misuse in the French manner＇。
Vivan le femmine！
Viva il buon vino！
THE STATUE。 ＇taking up the tune an octave higher in his counter
tenor＇
Sostegno a gloria
D'umanita。
THE DEVIL。 Precisely。 Well； he never sings for us now。
DON JUAN。 Do you complain of that？ Hell is full of musical
amateurs： music is the brandy of the damned。 May not one lost
soul be permitted to abstain？
THE DEVIL。 You dare blaspheme against the sublimest of the arts！
DON JUAN。 ＇with cold disgust＇ You talk like a hysterical woman
fawning on a fiddler。
THE DEVIL。 I am not angry。 I merely pity you。 You have no soul；
and you are unconscious of all that you lose。 Now you； Senor
Commander； are a born musician。 How well you sing！ Mozart would
be delighted if he were still here； but he moped and went to
heaven。 Curious how these clever men； whom you would have
supposed born to be popular here； have turned out social
failures； like Don Juan！
DON JUAN。 I am really very sorry to be a social failure。
THE DEVIL。 Not that we don't admire your intellect； you know。 We
do。 But I look at the matter from your own point of view。 You
don't get on with us。 The place doesn't suit you。 The truth is；
you haveI won't say no heart； for we know that beneath all your
affected cynicism you have a warm one。
DON JUAN。 ＇shrinking＇ Don't； please don't。
THE DEVIL。 ＇nettled＇ Well； you've no capacity for enjoyment。 Will
that satisfy you？
DON JUAN。 It is a somewhat less insufferable form of cant than
the other。 But if you'll allow me； I'll take refuge； as usual； in
solitude。
THE DEVIL。 Why not take refuge in Heaven？ That's the proper place
for you。 ＇To Ana＇ Come； Senora！ could you not persuade him for
his own good to try a change of air？
ANA。 But can he go to Heaven if he wants to？
THE DEVIL。 What's to prevent him？
ANA。 Can anybodycan I go to Heaven if I want to？
THE DEVIL。 ＇rather contemptuously＇ Certainly； if your taste lies
that way。
ANA。 But why doesn't everybody go to Heaven； then？
THE STATUE。 ＇chuckling＇ I can tell you that； my dear。 It's
because heaven is the most angelically dull place in all
creation： that's why。
THE DEVIL。 His excellency the Commander puts it with military
bluntness； but the strain of living in Heaven is intolerable。
There is a notion that I was turned out of it； but as a matter of
fact nothing could have induced me to stay there。 I simply left
it and organized this place。
THE STATUE。 I don't wonder at it。 Nobody could stand an eternity
of heaven。
THE DEVIL。 Oh； it suits some people。 Let us be just； Commander：
it is a question of temperament。 I don't admire the heavenly
temperament： I don't understand it： I don't know that I
particularly want to understand it； but it takes all sorts to
make a universe。 There is no accounting for tastes： there are
people who like it。 I think Don Juan would like it。
DON JUAN。 Butpardon my franknesscould you really go back
there if you desired to； or are the grapes sour？
THE DEVIL。 Back there！ I often go back there。 Have you never read
the book of Job？ Have you any canonical authority for assuming
that there is any barrier between our circle and the other one？
ANA。 But surely there is a great gulf fixed。
THE DEVIL。 Dear lady： a parable must not be taken literally。 The
g