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What must he feel to see his daughter in this place； and in
conversation with his murderer！
DON JUAN。 By the way； if we should meet him
ANA。 How can we meet him？ He is in heaven。
DON JUAN。 He condescends to look in upon us here from time to
time。 Heaven bores him。 So let me warn you that if you meet him
he will be mortally offended if you speak of me as his murderer！
He maintains that he was a much better swordsman than I； and that
if his foot had not slipped he would have killed me。 No doubt he
is right： I was not a good fencer。 I never dispute the point； so
we are excellent friends。
ANA。 It is no dishonor to a soldier to be proud of his skill in
arms。
DON JUAN。 You would rather not meet him； probably。
ANA。 How dare you say that？
DON JUAN。 Oh； that is the usual feeling here。 You may remember
that on earththough of course we never confessed itthe death
of anyone we knew； even those we liked best； was always mingled
with a certain satisfaction at being finally done with them。
ANA。 Monster！ Never； never。
DON JUAN。 ＇placidly＇ I see you recognize the feeling。 Yes： a
funeral was always a festivity in black； especially the funeral
of a relative。 At all events； family ties are rarely kept up
here。 Your father is quite accustomed to this： he will not expect
any devotion from you。
ANA。 Wretch： I wore mourning for him all my life。
DON JUAN。 Yes： it became you。 But a life of mourning is one
thing： an eternity of it quite another。 Besides； here you are as
dead as he。 Can anything be more ridiculous than one dead person
mourning for another？ Do not look shocked； my dear Ana； and do
not be alarmed： there is plenty of humbug in hell （indeed there
is hardly anything else）； but the humbug of death and age and
change is dropped because here WE are all dead and all eternal。
You will pick up our ways soon。
ANA。 And will all the men call me their dear Ana？
DON JUAN。 No。 That was a slip of the tongue。 I beg your pardon。
ANA。 ＇almost tenderly＇ Juan： did you really love me when you
behaved so disgracefully to me？
DON JUAN。 ＇impatiently＇＇ Oh； I beg you not to begin talking about
love。 Here they talk of nothing else but loveits beauty； its
holiness； its spirituality； its devil knows what！excuse me； but
it does so bore me。 They don't know what they're talking about。 I
do。 They think they have achieved the perfection of love because
they have no bodies。 Sheer imaginative debauchery！ Faugh！
ANA。 Has even death failed to refine your soul； Juan？ Has the
terrible judgment of which my father's statue was the minister
taught you no reverence？
DON JUAN。 How is that very flattering statue； by the way？ Does it
still come to supper with naughty people and cast them into this
bottomless pit？
ANA。 It has been a great expense to me。 The boys in the monastery
school would not let it alone： the mischievous ones broke it； and
the studious ones wrote their names on it。 Three new noses in two
years； and fingers without end。 I had to leave it to its fate at
last； and now I fear it is shockingly mutilated。 My poor father！
DON JUAN。 Hush！ Listen！ ＇Two great chords rolling on syncopated
waves of sound break forth： D minor and its dominant： a round of
dreadful joy to all musicians＇。 Ha！ Mozart's statue music。 It is
your father。 You had better disappear until I prepare him。 ＇She
vanishes＇。
》From the void comes a living statue of white marble； designed
to represent a majestic old man。 But he waives his majesty with
infinite grace； walks with a feather…like step； and makes every
wrinkle in his war worn visage brim over with holiday joyousness。
To his sculptor he owes a perfectly trained figure； which he
carries erect and trim； and the ends of his moustache curl up；
elastic as watchsprings； giving him an air which； but for its
Spanish dignity； would be called jaunty。 He is on the pleasantest
terms with Don Juan。 His voice； save for a much more
distinguished intonation； is so like the voice of Roebuck Ramsden
that it calls attention to the fact that they are not unlike one
another in spite of their very different fashion of shaving。
DON JUAN。 Ah； here you are； my friend。 Why don't you learn to
sing the splendid music Mozart has written for you？
THE STATUE。 Unluckily he has written it for a bass voice。 Mine is
a counter tenor。 Well： have you repented yet？
DON JUAN。 I have too much consideration for you to repent； Don
Gonzalo。 If I did； you would have no excuse for coming from
Heaven to argue with me。
THE STATUE。 True。 Remain obdurate； my boy。 I wish I had killed
you； as I should have done but for an accident。 Then I should
have come here； and you would have had a statue and a reputation
for piety to live up to。 Any news？
DON JUAN。 Yes： your daughter is dead。
THE STATUE。 ＇puzzled＇ My daughter？ ＇Recollecting＇ Oh！ the one you
were taken with。 Let me see： what was her name？
DON JUAN。 Ana。
THE STATUE。 To be sure： Ana。 A goodlooking girl； if I recollect
aright。 Have you warned Whatshisnameher husband？
DON JUAN。 My friend Ottavio？ No： I have not seen him since Ana
arrived。
Ana comes indignantly to light。
ANA。 What does this mean？ Ottavio here and YOUR friend！ And you；
father； have forgotten my name。 You are indeed turned to stone。
THE STATUE。 My dear： I am so much more admired in marble than I
ever was in my own person that I have retained the shape the
sculptor gave me。 He was one of the first men of his day： you
must acknowledge that。
ANA。 Father！ Vanity！ personal vanity！ from you！
THE STATUE。 Ah； you outlived that weakness； my daughter： you must
be nearly 80 by this time。 I was cut off （by an accident） in my
64th year； and am considerably your junior in consequence。
Besides； my child； in this place； what our libertine friend here
would call the farce of parental wisdom is dropped。 Regard me； I
beg； as a fellow creature； not as a father。
ANA。 You speak as this villain speaks。
THE STATUE。 Juan is a sound thinker； Ana。 A bad fencer； but a
sound thinker。
ANA。 ＇horror creeping upon her＇ I begin to understand。 These are
devils； mocking me。 I had better pray。
THE STATUE。 ＇consoling her＇ No； no； no； my child： do not pray。 If
you do； you will throw away the main advantage of this place。
Written over the gate here are the words 〃Leave every hope
behind； ye who enter。〃 Only think what a relief that is！ For what
is hope？ A form of moral responsibility。 Here there is no hope；
and consequently no duty； no work； nothing to be gained by
praying； nothing to be lost by doing what you like。 Hell； in
short； is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse
yourself。 ＇Don Juan sighs deeply＇。 You sigh； friend Juan； but if
you dwelt in heaven； as I do； you would realize your advantages。
DON JUAN。 You are in good spirits to…day； Commander。 You are
positively brilliant。 What is the matter？
THE STATUE。 I have come to a momentous decision； my boy。 But
first； where is our friend the Devil？ I must consult him in the
matter。 And Ana would like to make his acquaintance； no doubt。
ANA。 You are preparing some torment for me。
DON JUAN。 All that is superstition； Ana。 Reassure yourself。
Remember： the devil is not so bl