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TANNER。 By the way； let me introduce you。 Mr Octavius Robinson：
Mr Enry Straker。
STRAKER。 Pleased to meet you； sir。 Mr Tanner is gittin at you
with his Enry Straker； you know。 You call it Henery。 But I don't
mind； bless you。
TANNER。 You think it's simply bad taste in me to chaff him； Tavy。
But you're wrong。 This man takes more trouble to drop his aiches
than ever his father did to pick them up。 It's a mark of caste to
him。 I have never met anybody more swollen with the pride of
class than Enry is。
STRAKER。 Easy； easy！ A little moderation； Mr Tanner。
TANNER。 A little moderation； Tavy； you observe。 You would tell me
to draw it mild； But this chap has been educated。 What's more； he
knows that we haven't。 What was that board school of yours；
Straker？
STRAKER。 Sherbrooke Road。
TANNER。 Sherbrooke Road！ Would any of us say Rugby！ Harrow！ Eton！
in that tone of intellectual snobbery？ Sherbrooke Road is a place
where boys learn something； Eton is a boy farm where we are sent
because we are nuisances at home； and because in after life；
whenever a Duke is mentioned； we can claim him as an old
schoolfellow。
STRAKER。 You don't know nothing about it； Mr。 Tanner。 It's not
the Board School that does it： it's the Polytechnic。
TANNER。 His university； Octavius。 Not Oxford； Cambridge； Durham；
Dublin or Glasgow。 Not even those Nonconformist holes in Wales。
No； Tavy。 Regent Street； Chelsea； the BoroughI don't know half
their confounded names： these are his universities； not mere
shops for selling class limitations like ours。 You despise
Oxford； Enry； don't you？
STRAKER。 No； I don't。 Very nice sort of place； Oxford； I should
think； for people that like that sort of place。 They teach you to
be a gentleman there。 In the Polytechnic they teach you to be an
engineer or such like。 See？
TANNER。 Sarcasm； Tavy； sarcasm！ Oh； if you could only see into
Enry's soul； the depth of his contempt for a gentleman； the
arrogance of his pride in being an engineer； would appal you。 He
positively likes the car to break down because it brings out my
gentlemanly helplessness and his workmanlike skill and resource。
STRAKER。 Never you mind him； Mr Robinson。 He likes to talk。 We
know him； don't we？
OCTAVIUS。 ＇earnestly＇ But there's a great truth at the bottom of
what he says。 I believe most intensely in the dignity of labor。
STRAKER。 ＇unimpressed＇ That's because you never done any Mr
Robinson。 My business is to do away with labor。 You'll get more
out of me and a machine than you will out of twenty laborers； and
not so much to drink either。
TANNER。 For Heaven's sake； Tavy； don't start him on political
economy。 He knows all about it； and we don't。 You're only a
poetic Socialist； Tavy： he's a scientific one。
STRAKER。 ＇unperturbed＇ Yes。 Well； this conversation is very
improvin； but I've got to look after the car； and you two want
to talk about your ladies。 I know。 ＇He retires to busy himself
about the car； and presently saunters off towards the house＇。
TANNER。 That's a very momentous social phenomenon。
OCTAVIUS。 What is？
TANNER。 Straker is。 Here have we literary and cultured persons
been for years setting up a cry of the New Woman whenever some
unusually old fashioned female came along； and never noticing
the advent of the New Man。 Straker's the New Man。
OOCTAVIUS。 I see nothing new about him； except your way of
chaffing him。 But I don't want to talk about him just now。 I want
to speak to you about Ann。
TANNER。 Straker knew even that。 He learnt it at the Polytechnic；
probably。 Well； what about Ann？ Have you proposed to her？
OCTAVIUS。 ＇self…reproachfully＇ I was brute enough to do so last
night。
TANNER。 Brute enough！ What do you mean？
OCTAVIUS。 ＇dithyrambically＇ Jack： we men are all coarse。 We never
understand how exquisite a woman's sensibilities are。 How could I
have done such a thing！
TANNER。 Done what； you maudlin idiot？
OCTAVIUS。 Yes； I am an idiot。 Jack： if you had heard her voice！
if you had seen her tears！ I have lain awake all night thinking
of them。 If she had reproached me； I could have borne it better。
TANNER。 Tears！ that's dangerous。 What did she say？
OCTAVIUS。 She asked me how she could think of anything now but
her dear father。 She stifled a sob＇he breaks down＇。
TANNER。 ＇patting him on the back＇ Bear it like a man； Tavy； even
if you feel it like an ass。 It's the old game： she's not tired of
playing with you yet。
OCTAVIUS。 ＇impatiently＇ Oh； don't be a fool； Jack。 Do you suppose
this eternal shallow cynicism of yours has any real bearing on a
nature like hers？
TANNER。 Hm！ Did she say anything else？
OCTAVIUS。 Yes； and that is why I expose myself and her to your
ridicule by telling you what passed。
TANNER。 ＇remorsefully＇ No； dear Tavy； not ridicule； on my honor！
However； no matter。 Go on。
OCTAVIUS。 Her sense of duty is so devout； so perfect； so
TANNER。 Yes： I know。 Go on。
OCTAVIUS。 You see； under this new arrangement； you and Ramsden
are her guardians； and she considers that all her duty to her
father is now transferred to you。 She said she thought I ought to
have spoken to you both in the first instance。 Of course she is
right； but somehow it seems rather absurd that I am to come to
you and formally ask to be received as a suitor for your ward's
hand。
TANNER。 I am glad that love has not totally extinguished your
sense of humor； Tavy。
OCTAVIUS。 That answer won't satisfy her。
TANNER。 My official answer is； obviously； Bless you； my children：
may you be happy！
OCTAVIUS。 I wish you would stop playing the fool about this。 If
it is not serious to you； it is to me； and to her。
TANNER。 You know very well that she is as free to choose as you。
She does not think so。
TANNER。 Oh； doesn't she！ just！ However； say what you want me to
do。
OCTAVIUS。 I want you to tell her sincerely and earnestly what you
think about me。 I want you to tell her that you can trust her to
methat is； if you feel you can。
TANNER。 I have no doubt that I can trust her to you。 What worries
me is the idea of trusting you to her。 Have you read
Maeterlinck's book about the bee？
OCTAVIUS。 ＇keeping his temper with difficulty＇ I am not
discussing literature at present。
TANNER。 Be just a little patient with me。 I am not discussing
literature： the book about the bee is natural history。 It's an
awful lesson to mankind。 You think that you are Ann's suitor；
that you are the pursuer and she the pursued； that it is your
part to woo； to persuade； to prevail； to overcome。 Fool： it is
you who are the pursued； the marked down quarry； the destined
prey。 You need not sit looking longingly at the bait through the
wires of the trap： the door is open； and will remain so until it
shuts behind you for ever。
OCTAVIUS。 I wish I could believe that； vilely as you put it。
TANNER。 Why； man； what other work has she in life but to get a
husband？ It is a woman's business to get married as soon as
possible； and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can。 You
have your poems and your tragedies to work at： Ann has nothing。
OCTAVIUS。 I cannot write without inspiration。 And nobody can give
me that except Ann。
TANNER。 Well； h