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DISCOVERING THE SIMPLICITY OF SOME SILLY WITTED MEN； AND HOW
EASIE A MATTER IT IS TO ABUSE AND BEGUILE THEM
Master Simon the Physitian； by the perswasions of Bruno； Buffalmaco；
and a third Companion； named Nello； made Calandrino to beleeve； that
he was conceived great with childe。 And having Physicke ministred to
him for the disease： they got both good fatte Capons and money of him；
and so cured him； without any other man of deliverance。
After that Madame Eliza had concluded her Novell； and every one of
the company given thankes to Fortune； for delivering poore Isabella
the faire young Nunne； from the bitter reprehensions of the as
faulty Abbesse； as also the malice of her envious Sisters； the
Queene gave command unto Philostratus； that he should be the next in
order； and hee （without expecting anie other warning） began in this
manner。
Faire Ladies； the paltry Judge of the Marquisate； whereof
yesterday I made relation to you； hindred mee then of another
Novell； concerning silly Calandrino； wherewith I purpose now to
acquaint you。 And because whatsoever hath already bin spoken of him；
tended to no other end but matter of meriment； hee and his
companions duly considered； the Novel which I shal now report； keepeth
within the selfesame compasse； and aimeth also at your contentment；
according to the scope of imposed variety。
You have already heard what manner of man Calandrino was； and
likewise the rest of his pleasant Companions； who likewise are now
againe to be remembred； because they are actors in our present
discourse。 It came so to passe； that an Aunt of Calandrinoes dying；
left him a legacy of two hundred Florines； wherewith he purposed to
purchase some small Farme…house in the countrey； or else to enlarge
the other； whereof he was possessed already。 And； as if bee were to
disburse some ten thousand Florines； there was not a Broker in all
Florence； but understood what he intended to doe： and all the worst
was； that the strings of his purse could stretch no higher。 Bruno； and
Buffalmaco （his auncient Confederates） who heard of this good
Fortune befalne him； advised him in such manner as they were wont to
do； allowing it much better for him； to make merrie with the money
in good cheare among them； then to lay it out in paltry Land；
whereto he would not by any meanes listen； but ridde himselfe of
them with a dinners cost； as loath to bee at anie further charge
with them。
These merry Laddes meant not to leave him so； but sitting one day in
serious consultation； and a third man in their companie； named
Nello； they all three layde their braines in steep； by what means to
wash their mouths well； and Calandrino to bee at the cost thereof。
And having resolved what was to bee done； they met togither the next
morning； even as Calandrino was comming foorth of his house； and
sundering themselves； to avoyd all suspition； yet beeing not farre
distant each from other； Nello first met him； and saide unto him； Good
Morrow Calandrino： which he requited backe agayne with the same
salutation。 But then Nello standing still； looked him stedfastly in
the face： whereat Calandrino mervailing； sayd。 Nello。
Why dost thou behold me so advisedly？ Whereunto Nello answered；
saying Hast thou felt any paine this last night past？ Thou lookest
nothing so well； as thou didst yesterday。 Calandrino began instantly
to wax doubtfull； and replyed thus。 Dost thou see any alteration in my
face； whereby to imagine； I should feele some paine？ In good faith
Calandrino （quoth Nello） me thinks thy countenance is strangely
changed； and surely it proceedeth from some great cause； and so he
departed away from him。
Calandrino being very mistrustfull； scratched his head； yet felte he
no grievance at all； and going still on； Buffalmaco sodainely
encountred him； upon his departure from Nello； and after salutations
passing betweene them； in a manner of admiration； demanded what he
ayled？
Truly （quoth Calandrino） well enough to mine owne thinking； yet
notwithstanding； I met with Nello but even now； and he told me； that
my countenance was very much altred； Is it possible that I should
bee sicke； and feele no paine or distaste in any part of me？
Buffalmaco answered； I am not so skilfull in judgement； as to argue on
the Nature of distemper in the body： but sure I am； that thou hast
some daungerous inward impediment； because thou lookst （almost） like a
man more then halfe dead。
Calandrino began presently to shake； as if hee had had a Feaver
hanging on him； and then came Bruno looking fearefully on him； and
before he would utter any words； seemed greatly to bemoane him； saying
at length。 Calandrino？ Art thou the same man； or no？ How wonderfuly
art thou changed since last I saw thee； which is no longer then yester
day？ I pray thee tell mee； How dooest thou feele thy health？
Calandrino hearing； that they all agreed in one opinion of him； he
beganne verily to perswade himselfe； that some sodaine sicknes； had
seised upon him； which they could discerne； although hee felt no
anguish at all： and therefore； like a man much perplexed in minde；
demanded of them； What he should do？ Beleeve me Calandrino （answered
Bruno） if I were worthy to give thee counsell； thou shouldst returne
home presently to thy house； and lay thee downe in thy warme Bedde；
covered with so many cloathes as thou canst well endure。 Then to
Morrow morning； send thy Water unto Learned Mayster Doctor the
Physitian； who （as thou knowest） is a man of most singular skill and
experience： he will instruct thee presently what is the best course to
be taken； and we that have ever beene thy loving friends； will not
faile thee in any thing that lieth in our power。
By this time； Nello being come againe unto them； they all returned
home with Calandrino unto his owne house； whereinto he entering very
faintly； hee saide to his Wife： Woman； make my Bed presently ready；
for I feele my selfe to be growne extreamely sicke； and see that
thou layest cloathes enow upon me。 Being thus laide in his Bedde； they
left him for that night； and returned to visite him againe the verie
next morning； by which time； he had made a reservation of his Water；
and sent it by a young Damosell unto Maister Doctor； who dwelt then in
the olde market place； at the signe of the Muske Mellone。 Then saide
Bruno unto his Companions； Abide you heere to keepe him company； and I
will walke along to the Physitian； to understand what he will say： and
if neede be； I can procure him to come hither with me。 Calandrino very
kindely accepted his offer； saying withall。 Well Bruno； thou shewst
thy selfe a friend in the time of necessity； I pray thee know of
him； how the case stands with me； for I feele a very strange
alteration within mee； far beyond all compasse of my conceite。
Bruno being gone to the Physitian； he made such expedition； that
he arrived there before the Damosell； who carried the Water； and
informed Master Simon with the whole tricke intended： wherefore；
when the Damosell was come； and hee had passed his judgement
concerning the water； he said to her。
Maide； go home againe； and tell Calandrino； that he must keep