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AGUECHEEK。 An't be any way； it must be with valour； for policy I hate； I
had as lief be a Brownist as a politician。 SIR TOBY。 Why； then； build me
thy fortunes upon the basis of valour。 Challenge me the Count's youth to
fight with him； hurt him in eleven places。 My niece shall take note of it；
and assure thyself there is no love…broker in the world can more prevail in
man's commendation with woman than report of valour。 FABIAN。 There
is no way but this； Sir Andrew。 AGUECHEEK。 Will either of you bear me
a challenge to him？ SIR TOBY。 Go； write it in a martial hand； be curst and
brief； it is no matter how witty； so it be eloquent and full of invention。
Taunt him with the license of ink； if thou thou'st him some thrice； it shall
not be amiss； and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper； although
the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England； set 'em down；
go about it。 Let there be gall enough in thy ink； though thou write with a
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
goose…pen； no matter。 About it。 AGUECHEEK。 Where shall I find you？
SIR TOBY。 We'll call thee at the cubiculo。 Go。 Exit SIR ANDREW
FABIAN。 This is a dear manakin to you； Sir Toby。 SIR TOBY。 I have been
dear to him； lad… some two thousand strong； or so。 FABIAN。 We shall
have a rare letter from him； but you'll not deliver't？ SIR TOBY。 Never
trust me then； and by all means stir on the youth to an answer。 I think oxen
and wainropes cannot hale them together。 For Andrew； if he were open'd
and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea； I'll
eat the rest of th' anatomy。 FABIAN。 And his opposite； the youth； bears in
his visage no great presage of cruelty。 Enter MARIA
SIR TOBY。 Look where the youngest wren of nine comes。 MARIA。
If you desire the spleen； and will laugh yourselves into stitches； follow me。
Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen； a very renegado； for there is no
Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly can ever believe such
impossible passages of grossness。 He's in yellow stockings。 SIR TOBY。
And cross…garter'd？ MARIA。 Most villainously； like a pedant that keeps a
school i' th' church。 I have dogg'd him like his murderer。 He does obey
every point of the letter that I dropp'd to betray him。 He does smile his
face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the
Indies。 You have not seen such a thing as 'tis； I can hardly forbear hurling
things at him。 I know my lady will strike him； if she do； he'll smile and
take't for a great favour。 SIR TOBY。 Come； bring us； bring us where he is。
Exeunt
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
SCENE III。 A street
Enter SEBASTIAN and ANTONIO
SEBASTIAN。 I would not by my will have troubled you； But since
you make your pleasure of your pains； I will no further chide you。
ANTONIO。 I could not stay behind you： my desire； More sharp than filed
steel； did spur me forth； And not all love to see you… though so much As
might have drawn one to a longer voyage… But jealousy what might befall
your travel； Being skilless in these parts； which to a stranger； Unguided
and unfriended； often prove Rough and unhospitable。 My willing love；
The rather by these arguments of fear； Set forth in your pursuit。
SEBASTIAN。 My kind Antonio； I can no other answer make but thanks；
And thanks； and ever thanks； and oft good turns Are shuffl'd off with such
uncurrent pay； But were my worth as is my conscience firm； You should
find better dealing。 What's to do？ Shall we go see the reliques of this town？
ANTONIO。 To…morrow； sir； best first go see your lodging。 SEBASTIAN。 I
am not weary； and 'tis long to night； I pray you； let us satisfy our eyes With
the memorials and the things of fame That do renown this city。 ANTONIO。
Would you'd pardon me。 I do not without danger walk these streets： Once
in a sea…fight 'gainst the Count his galleys I did some service； of such note；
indeed； That； were I ta'en here； it would scarce be answer'd。 SEBASTIAN。
Belike you slew great number of his people。 ANTONIO。Th' offence is not
of such a bloody nature； Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel Might
well have given us bloody argument。 It might have since been answer'd in
repaying What we took from them； which； for traffic's sake； Most of our
city did。 Only myself stood out； For which； if I be lapsed in this place； I
shall pay dear。 SEBASTIAN。 Do not then walk too open。 ANTONIO。 It
doth not fit me。 Hold； sir； here's my purse； In the south suburbs； at the
Elephant； Is best to lodge。 I will bespeak our diet； Whiles you beguile the
time and feed your knowledge With viewing of the town； there shall you
have me。 SEBASTIAN。 Why I your purse？ ANTONIO。 Haply your eye
shall light upon some toy You have desire to purchase； and your store； I
think； is not for idle markets； sir。 SEBASTIAN。 I'll be your purse…bearer；
and leave you for An hour。 ANTONIO。 To th' Elephant。 SEBASTIAN。 I
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
do remember。 Exeunt
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
SCENE IV。 OLIVIA'S garden
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA
OLIVIA。 I have sent after him； he says he'll come。 How shall I feast
him？ What bestow of him？ For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or
borrow'd。 I speak too loud。 Where's Malvolio？ He is sad and civil； And
suits well for a servant with my fortunes。 Where is Malvolio？ MARIA。
He's coming； madam； but in very strange manner。 He is sure possess'd；
madam。 OLIVIA。 Why； what's the matter？ Does he rave？ MARIA。 No；
madam； he does nothing but smile。 Your ladyship were best to have some
guard about you if he come； for sure the man is tainted in's wits。 OLIVIA。
Go call him hither。 Exit MARIA I am as mad as he； If sad and merry
madness equal be。 Re…enter MARIA with MALVOLIO
How now； Malvolio！ MALVOLIO。 Sweet lady； ho； ho。 OLIVIA。
Smil'st thou？ I sent for thee upon a sad occasion。 MALVOLIO。 Sad； lady？
I could be sad。 This does make some obstruction in the blood； this cross…
gartering； but what of that？ If it please the eye of one； it is with me as the