按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃Are you in misery as well； my dearest？〃 she said； in a low voice。
〃My griefs will not ease yours。〃
〃But tell them to me； darling； I am not yet too selfish to listen。 Are
we to suffer together once more； as we did in girlhood？〃
〃But alas！ we suffer apart；〃 said the banker's wife。 〃You and I live
in two worlds at enmity with each other。 I go to the Tuileries when
you are not there。 Our husbands belong to opposite parties。 I am the
wife of an ambitious banker；a bad man； my darling； while you have a
noble； kind； and generous husband。〃
〃Oh！ don't reproach me！〃 cried the countess。 〃To understand my
position； a woman must have borne the weariness of a vapid and barren
life； and have entered suddenly into a paradise of light and love； she
must know the happiness of feeling her whole life in that of another；
of espousing； as it were； the infinite emotions of a poet's soul； of
living a double existence；going； coming with him in his courses
through space； through the world of ambition； suffering with his
griefs； rising on the wings of his high pleasures； developing her
faculties on some vast stage； and all this while living calm； serene；
and cold before an observing world。 Ah！ dearest； what happiness in
having at all hours an enormous interest； which multiplies the fibres
of the heart and varies them indefinitely！ to feel no longer cold
indifference！ to find one's very life depending on a thousand trifles！
on a walk where an eye will beam to us from a crowd； on a glance
which pales the sun！ Ah！ what intoxication； dear； to live！ to LIVE
when other women are praying on their knees for emotions that never
come to them！ Remember； darling； that for this poem of delight there
is but a single moment；youth！ In a few years winter comes； and cold。
Ah！ if you possessed these living riches of the heart； and were
threatened with the loss of them〃
Madame du Tillet； terrified； had covered her face with her hands
during the passionate utterance of this anthem。
〃I did not even think of reproaching you； my beloved；〃 she said at
last； seeing her sister's face bathed in hot tears。 〃You have cast
into my soul； in one moment； more brands than I have tears to quench。
Yes； the life I live would justify to my heart a love like that you
picture。 Let me believe that if we could have seen each other oftener；
we should not now be where we are。 If you had seen my sufferings； you
must have valued your own happiness the more； and you might have
strengthened me to resist my tyrant； and so have won a sort of peace。
Your misery is an incident which chance may change； but mine is daily
and perpetual。 To my husband I am a peg on which to hang his luxury；
the sign…post of his ambition； a satisfaction to his vanity。 He has no
real affection for me； and no confidence。 Ferdinand is hard and
polished as that piece of marble；〃 she continued； striking the
chimney…piece。 〃He distrusts me。 Whatever I may want for myself is
refused before I ask it； but as for what flatters his vanity and
proclaims his wealth； I have no occasion to express a wish。 He
decorates my apartments； he spends enormous sums upon my
entertainments； my servants； my opera…box； all external matters are
maintained with the utmost splendor。 His vanity spares no expense； he
would trim his children's swaddling…clothes with lace if he could； but
he would never hear their cries； or guess their needs。 Do you
understand me？ I am covered with diamonds when I go to court； I wear
the richest jewels in society； but I have not one farthing I can use。
Madame du Tillet； who； they say； is envied； who appears to float in
gold； has not a hundred francs she can call her own。 If the father
cares little for his child； he cares less for its mother。 Ah！ he has
cruelly made me feel that he bought me； and that in marrying me
without a 〃dot〃 he was wronged。 I might perhaps have won him to love
me； but there's an outside influence against it；that of a woman； who
is over fifty years of age； the widow of a notary； who rules him。 I
shall never be free； I know that； so long as he lives。 My life is
regulated like that of a queen； my meals are served with the utmost
formality； at a given hour I must drive to the Bois； I am always
accompanied by two footmen in full dress； I am obliged to return at a
certain hour。 Instead of giving orders； I receive them。 At a ball； at
the theatre； a servant comes to me and says： 'Madame's carriage is
ready；' and I am obliged to go； in the midst； perhaps； of something I
enjoy。 Ferdinand would be furious if I did not obey the etiquette he
prescribes for his wife； he frightens me。 In the midst of this hateful
opulence； I find myself regretting the past； and thinking that our
mother was kind； she left us the nights when we could talk together；
at any rate； I was living with a dear being who loved me and suffered
with me； whereas here； in this sumptuous house； I live in a desert。〃
At this terrible confession the countess caught her sister's hand and
kissed it； weeping。
〃How； then； can I help you；〃 said Eugenie； in a low voice。 〃He would
be suspicious at once if he surprised us here； and would insist on
knowing all that you have been saying to me。 I should be forced to
tell a lie； which is difficult indeed with so sly and treacherous a
man； he would lay traps for me。 But enough of my own miseries； let us
think of yours。 The forty thousand francs you want would be； of
course； a mere nothing to Ferdinand； who handles millions with that
fat banker； Baron de Nucingen。 Sometimes； at dinner； in my presence；
they say things to each other which make me shudder。 Du Tillet knows
my discretion； and they often talk freely before me； being sure of my
silence。 Well； robbery and murder on the high…road seem to me merciful
compared to some of their financial schemes。 Nucingen and he no more
mind destroying a man than if he were an animal。 Often I am told to
receive poor dupes whose fate I have heard them talk of the night
before；men who rush into some business where they are certain to
lose their all。 I am tempted； like Leonardo in the brigand's cave； to
cry out； 'Beware！' But if I did； what would become of me？ So I keep
silence。 This splendid house is a cut…throat's den！ But Ferdinand and
Nucingen will lavish millions for their own caprices。 Ferdinand is now
buying from the other du Tillet family the site of their old castle；
he intends to rebuild it and add a forest with large domains to the
estate； and make his son a count； he declares that by the third
generation the family will be noble。 Nucingen； who is tired of his
house in the rue Saint…Lazare； is building a palace。 His wife is a
friend of mineAh！〃 she cried； interrupting herself； 〃she might help
us； she is very bold with her husband； her fortune is in her own
right。 Yes； she could save you。〃
〃Dear heart； I have but a few hours left； let us go to her this
evening； now； instantly；〃 said Madame de Vandenesse； throwing herself
into Madame