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the lily of the valley-第63章

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count; holding her up; gave a sort of groan as he felt her fainting;

he caught her in his arms as he might a child; and carried her to the

sofa in the salon; where we all surrounded her。 Henriette held my hand

in hers as if to tell me that we two alone knew the secret of that

scene; so simple in itself; so heart…rending to her。



〃I do wrong;〃 she said to me in a low voice; when the count left the

room to fetch a glass of orange…flower water。 〃I have many wrongs to

repent of towards you; I wished to fill you with despair when I ought

to have received you mercifully。 Dear; you are kindness itself; and I

alone can appreciate it。 Yes; I know there is a kindness prompted by

passion。 Men have various ways of being kind; some from contempt;

others from impulse; from calculation; through indolence of nature;

but you; my friend; you have been absolutely kind。〃



〃If that be so;〃 I replied; 〃remember that all that is good or great

in me comes through you。 You know well that I am of your making。〃



〃That word is enough for any woman's happiness;〃 she said; as the

count re…entered the room。 〃I feel better;〃 she said; rising; 〃I want

air。〃



We went down to the terrace; fragrant with the acacias which were

still in bloom。 She had taken my right arm; and pressed it against her

heart; thus expressing her sad thoughts; but they were; she said; of a

sadness dear to her。 No doubt she would gladly have been alone with

me; but her imagination; inexpert in women's wiles; did not suggest to

her any way of sending her children and the count back to the house。

We therefore talked on indifferent subjects; while she pondered a

means of pouring a few last thoughts from her heart to mine。



〃It is a long time since I have driven out;〃 she said; looking at the

beauty of the evening。 〃Monsieur; will you please order the carriage

that I may take a turn?〃



She knew that after evening prayer she could not speak with me; for

the count was sure to want his backgammon。 She might have returned to

the warm and fragrant terrace after her husband had gone to bed; but

she feared; perhaps; to trust herself beneath those shadows; or to

walk by the balustrade where our eyes could see the course of the

Indre through the dear valley。 As the silent and sombre vaults of a

cathedral lift the soul to prayer; so leafy ways; lighted by the moon;

perfumed with penetrating odors; alive with the murmuring noises of

the spring…tide; stir the fibres and weaken the resolves of those who

love。 The country calms the old; but excites the young。 We knew it

well。 Two strokes of the bell announced the hour of prayer。 The

countess shivered。



〃Dear Henriette; are you ill?〃



〃There is no Henriette;〃 she said。 〃Do not bring her back。 She was

capricious and exacting; now you have a friend whose courage has been

strengthened by the words which heaven itself dictated to you。 We will

talk of this later。 We must be punctual at prayers; for it is my day

to lead them。〃



As Madame de Mortsauf said the words in which she begged the help of

God through all the adversities of life; a tone came into her voice

which struck all present。 Did she use her gift of second sight to

foresee the terrible emotion she was about to endure through my

forgetfulness of an engagement made with Arabella?



〃We have time to make three kings before the horses are harnessed;〃

said the count; dragging me back to the salon。 〃You can go and drive

with my wife; and I'll go to bed。〃



The game was stormy; like all others。 The countess heard the count's

voice either from her room or from Madeleine's。



〃You show a strange hospitality;〃 she said; re…entering the salon。



I looked at her with amazement; I could not get accustomed to the

change in her; formerly she would have been most careful not to

protect me against the count; then it gladdened her that I should

share her sufferings and bear them with patience for love of her。



〃I would give my life;〃 I whispered in her ear; 〃if I could hear you

say again; as you once said; 'Poor dear; poor dear!'〃



She lowered her eyes; remembering the moment to which I alluded; yet

her glance turned to me beneath her eyelids; expressing the joy of a

woman who finds the mere passing tones from her heart preferred to the

delights of another love。 The count was losing the game; he said he

was tired; as an excuse to give it up; and we went to walk on the lawn

while waiting for the carriage。 When the count left us; such pleasure

shone on my face that Madame de Mortsauf questioned me by a look of

surprise and curiosity。



〃Henriette does exist;〃 I said。 〃You love me still。 You wound me with

an evident intention to break my heart。 I may yet be happy!〃



〃There was but a fragment of that poor woman left; and you have now

destroyed even that;〃 she said。 〃God be praised; he gives me strength

to bear my righteous martyrdom。 Yes; I still love you; and I might

have erred; the English woman shows me the abyss。〃



We got into the carriage and the coachman asked for orders。



〃Take the road to Chinon by the avenue; and come back by the

Charlemagne moor and the road to Sache。〃



〃What day is it?〃 I asked; with too much eagerness。



〃Saturday。〃



〃Then don't go that way; madame; the road will be crowded with

poultry…men and their carts returning from Tours。〃



〃Do as I told you;〃 she said to the coachman。 We knew the tones of our

voices too well to be able to hide from each other our least emotion。

Henriette understood all。



〃You did not think of the poultry…men when you appointed this

evening;〃 she said with a tinge of irony。 〃Lady Dudley is at Tours;

and she is coming here to meet you; do not deny it。 'What day is

it?the poultry…mentheir carts!' Did you ever take notice of such

things in our old drives?〃



〃It only shows that at Clochegourde I forget everything;〃 I answered;

simply。



〃She is coming to meet you?〃



〃Yes。〃



〃At what hour?〃



〃Half…past eleven。〃



〃Where?〃



〃On the moor。〃



〃Do not deceive me; is it not at the walnut…tree?〃



〃On the moor。〃



〃We will go there;〃 she said; 〃and I shall see her。〃



When I heard these words I regarded my future life as settled。 I at

once resolved to marry Lady Dudley and put an end to the miserable

struggle which threatened to exhaust my sensibilities and destroy by

these repeated shocks the delicate delights which had hitherto

resembled the flower of fruits。 My sullen silence wounded the

countess; the grandeur of whose mind I misjudged。



〃Do not be angry with me;〃 she said; in her golden voice。 〃This; dear;

is my punishment。 You can never be loved as you are here;〃 she

continued; laying my hand upon her heart。 〃I now confess it; but Lady

Dudley has saved me。 To her the stains;I do not envy them;to me

the glorious love of angels! I have traversed vast tracts of thought

since you returned here。 I have judged life。 Lift up the soul and you

rend it;
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