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crisis； and that as for the nut…tree； his remaining there had done
more good than harm by developing the disease。
For fifty…two days the count hovered between life and death。 Henriette
and I each watched twenty…six nights。 Undoubtedly； Monsieur de
Mortsauf owed his life to our nursing and to the careful exactitude
with which we carried out the orders of Monsieur Origet。 Like all
philosophical physicians； whose sagacious observation of what passes
before them justifies many a doubt of noble actions when they are only
the accomplishment of a duty； this man； while assisting the countess
and me in our rivalry of devotion； could not help watching us； with
scrutinizing glances； so afraid was he of being deceived in his
admiration。
〃In diseases of this nature；〃 he said to me at his third visit； 〃death
has a powerful auxiliary in the moral nature when that is seriously
disturbed； as it is in this case。 The doctor； the family； the nurses
hold the patient's life in their hands； sometimes a single word； a
fear expressed by a gesture； has the effect of poison。〃
As he spoke Origet studied my face and expression； but he saw in my
eyes the clear look of an honest soul。 In fact during the whole course
of this distressing illness there never passed through my mind a
single one of the involuntary evil thoughts which do sometimes sear
the consciences of the innocent。 To those who study nature in its
grandeur as a whole all tends to unity through assimilation。 The moral
world must undoubtedly be ruled by an analogous principle。 In an pure
sphere all is pure。 The atmosphere of heaven was around my Henriette；
it seemed as though an evil desire must forever part me from her。 Thus
she not only stood for happiness； but for virtue； she WAS virtue。
Finding us always equally careful and attentive； the doctor's words
and manners took a tone of respect and even pity； he seemed to say to
himself； 〃Here are the real sufferers； they hide their ills； and
forget them。〃 By a fortunate change； which； according to our excellent
doctor； is common enough in men who are completely shattered； Monsieur
de Mortsauf was patient； obedient； complained little； and showed
surprising docility；he； who when well never did the simplest thing
without discussion。 The secret of this submission to medical care；
which he formerly so derided； was an innate dread of death； another
contradiction in a man of tried courage。 This dread may perhaps
explain several other peculiarities in the character which the cruel
years of exile had developed。
Shall I admit to you； Natalie； and will you believe me？ these fifty
days and the month that followed them were the happiest moments of my
life。 Love； in the celestial spaces of the soul is like a noble river
flowing through a valley； the rains； the brooks； the torrents hie to
it； the trees fall upon its surface； so do the flowers； the gravel of
its shores； the rocks of the summits； storms and the loitering tribute
of the crystal streams alike increase it。 Yes； when love comes all
comes to love！
The first great danger over； the countess and I grew accustomed to
illness。 In spite of the confusion which the care of the sick entails；
the count's room； once so untidy； was now clean and inviting。 Soon we
were like two beings flung upon a desert island； for not only do
anxieties isolate； but they brush aside as petty the conventions of
the world。 The welfare of the sick man obliged us to have points of
contact which no other circumstances would have authorized。 Many a
time our hands； shy or timid formerly； met in some service that we
rendered to the countwas I not there to sustain and help my
Henriette？ Absorbed in a duty comparable to that of a soldier at the
pickets； she forgot to eat； then I served her； sometimes on her lap； a
hasty meal which necessitated a thousand little attentions。 We were
like children at a grave。 She would order me sharply to prepare
whatever might ease the sick man's suffering； she employed me in a
hundred petty ways。 During the time when actual danger obscured； as it
does during the battle； the subtile distinctions which characterize
the facts of ordinary life； she necessarily laid aside the reserve
which all women； even the most unconventional； preserve in their looks
and words and actions before the world or their own family。 At the
first chirping of the birds she would come to relieve my watch；
wearing a morning garment which revealed to me once more the dazzling
treasures that in my folly I had treated as my own。 Always dignified；
nay imposing； she could still be familiar。
Thus it came to pass that we found ourselves unconsciously intimate；
half…married as it were。 She showed herself nobly confiding； as sure
of me as she was of herself。 I was thus taken deeper and deeper into
her heart。 The countess became once more my Henriette； Henriette
constrained to love with increasing strength the friend who endeavored
to be her second soul。 Her hand unresistingly met mine at the least
solicitation； my eyes were permitted to follow with delight the lines
of her beauty during the long hours when we listened to the count's
breathing； without driving her from their sight。 The meagre pleasures
which we allowed ourselvessympathizing looks； words spoken in
whispers not to wake the count； hopes and fears repeated and again
repeated； in short； the thousand incidents of the fusion of two hearts
long separatedstand out in bright array upon the sombre background
of the actual scene。 Our souls knew each other to their depths under
this test； which many a warm affection is unable to bear； finding life
too heavy or too flimsy in the close bonds of hourly intercourse。
You know what disturbance follows the illness of a master； how the
affairs of life seem to come to a standstill。 Though the real care of
the family and estate fell upon Madame de Mortsauf； the count was
useful in his way； he talked with the farmers； transacted business
with his bailiff； and received the rents； if she was the soul； he was
the body。 I now made myself her steward so that she could nurse the
count without neglecting the property。 She accepted this as a matter
of course； in fact without thanking me。 It was another sweet communion
to share her family cares； to transmit her orders。 In the evenings we
often met in her room to discuss these interests and those of her
children。 Such conversations gave one semblance the more to our
transitory marriage。 With what delight she encouraged me to take a
husband's place； giving me his seat at table； sending me to talk with
the bailiff；all in perfect innocence； yet not without that inward
pleasure the most virtuous woman in the world will feel when she finds
a course where strict obedience to duty and the satisfaction of her
wishes are combined。
Nullified； as it were； by illness； the count no longer oppressed his
wife or his household； the countess then became her natural self； she
busied herself wi