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from the table； looked over his spectacles at me； then at the table… cloth；
and began in a dreamy voice：
〃Old Gabriel is dead。 I heard the news at the office this morning； and
went out and bought a black tie。 I am the oldest man in Tweedy's now
older by six years than Sam Collins； who comes next； so there is no
mistake about it。 Sam is looking for the place； I saw it in his eye when he
told me； and I expect he'll get it。 But I'm the oldest clerk in Tweedy's。 Only
God Almighty can alter that； and it's very satisfactory to me。 I don't care
about the money。 Sam Collins will be stuck up over it； like enough； but
he'll never write a hand like Gabriel's； not if he lives to be a hundred； and
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he knows it； and knows I'll be there to remind him of it。 Gabriel's was a
beautiful fistso small； too； if he chose。 Why； once； in his spare hours； he
wrote out all the Psalms； with the headings； on one side of a folio sheet；
and had it framed and hung up in his parlour； out at Shepherd's Bush。 He
died in the nightoh yes； quite easily。 He was down at the office all
yesterday； and spoke to me as brisk as a bird。 They found him dead in his
bed this morning。
〃I seem cut up about it？ Well； not exactly。 Ah； you noticed that I
refused my chop to…day。 Bless your soul； that's not on Gabriel's account。 I
am well on in years； and I suppose it would be natural of me to pity old
men； and expect pity。 But I can't； no； /it's only the young that I pity/。 If you
/must/ know； I didn't take the chop to…day because I haven't the money in
my pocket to pay for it。 You see； there was this black tie that I gave
eighteenpence for； but something else happened this morning that I'll tell
you about。
〃I came down in a 'bus； as usual。 You remember what muggy weather
it was up to ten o'clockthough you wouldn't think it； to feel the heat now。
Well； the 'bus was packed； inside and out。 At least； there was just room for
one more inside when we pulled up by Charing Cross； and there he got in…
…a boy with a stick and a bundle in a blue handkerchief。
〃He wasn't more than thirteen； bound for the docks； you could tell at a
glance； and by the way he looked about you could tell as easily that in
stepping outside Charing Cross station he'd set foot on London stones for
the first time。 God knows how it struck himthe slush and drizzle； the
ugly shop…fronts； the horses slipping in the brown mud； the crowd on the
pavement pushing him this side and that。 The poor little chap was standing
in the middle of it with dazed eyes； like a hare's； when the 'bus pulled up。
His eyelids were pink and swollen； but he wasn't crying； though he wanted
to。 Instead； he gave a gulp as he came on board with stick and bundle； and
tried to look brave as a lion。
〃I'd have given worlds to speak to him； but I couldn't。 On my word； sir；
I should have cried。 It wasn't so much the little chap's look。 But to the knot
of his bundle there was tied a bunch of cottage flowers；sweet…williams；
boy's…love； and a rose or two；and the sight and smell of them in that
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stuffy omnibus were like tears on thirsty eyelids。 It's the young that I pity；
sir。 For Gabriel； in his bed up at Shepherd's Bush； there's no more to be
said； as far as I can see； and as for me； I'm the oldest clerk in Tweedy's；
which is very satisfactory。 It's the young faces； set toward the road along
which we have travelled； that trouble me。 Sometimes； sir； I lie awake in
my lodgings and listen； and the whole of this London seems filled with the
sound of children's feet running； and I can sob aloud。 You may say that it
is only selfishness； and what I really pity is my own boyhood。 I dare say
you're right。 It's certain that； as I kept glancing at the boy and his sea kit
and his bunch of flowers； my mind went back to the January morning；
sixty…five years back； when the coach took me off for the first time from
the village where I was born to a London charity… school。 I was worse off
than the boy in the omnibus； for I had just lost father and mother。 Yet it
was the sticks and stones and flower… beds that I mostly thought of。 I went
round and said good…bye to the lilacs； and told them to be in flower by the
time I came back。 I said to the rose…bush； 'You must be as high as my
window next May； you know you only missed it by three inches last
summer。' Then I went to the cow…house； and kissed the cows； one by one。
They were to be sold by auction the very next week； but I guessed nothing
of it； and ordered them not to forget me。 And last I looked at the swallows'
nests under the thatch；the last year's nests；and told myself that they
would be filled again when I returned。 I remembered this； and how I
stretched out my hands to the place from the coach…top； and how at
Reading； where we stopped； I spent the two shillings that I possessed in a
cocoanut and a bright clasp…knife； and how； when I opened it； the nut was
sour； and how I cried myself to sleep； and woke in London。
〃The young men in Tweedy's； though they respect my long standing
there； make fun of me at times because I never take a holiday in the
country。 Why； sir； /I dare not/。 I should wander back to my old village；
and Well； I know how it would be then。 I should find it smaller and
meaner； I should search about for the flowers and nests； and listen for the
music that I knew sixty…five years ago； and remember； and they would not
be discoverable。 Also every face would stare at me； for all the faces I
know are dead。 Then I should think I had missed my way and come to the
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wrong place； or （worse） that no such spot ever existed； and I have been
cheating myself all these years； that； in fact； I was mad all the while； and
have no stable reason for existingI； the oldest clerk in Tweedy's！ To be
sure； there would be my parents' headstones in the churchyard。 But what
are they； if the churchyard itself is changed？
〃As it is； with three hundred pounds per annum； and enough laid by to
keep him； if I fail； an old bachelor has no reason to grumble。 But the sight
of that little chap's nosegay； and the thought of the mother who ti