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〃Yes；〃 he answered。
He was gazing at the pool； with his face partly averted from her； one
hand on the wall； the other resting on his knee。
〃You were brave that night； Boris；〃 she said。
〃II wished to beI tried to be。 And if I had been〃
He stopped； then went on： 〃If I had been； Domini； really brave； if I
had done what I meant to do that night； what would our lives have been
to…day？〃
〃I don't know。 We mustn't think of that to…night。 We must think of the
future。 Boris； there's no life； no real life without bravery。 No man
or woman is worthy of living who is not brave。〃
He said nothing。
〃Boris； let usyou and Ibe worthy of living to…nightand in the
future。〃
〃Give me your hand then；〃 he answered。 〃Give it me； Domini。〃
But she did not give it to him。 Instead she went on； speaking a little
more rapidly：
〃Boris； don't rely too much on my strength。 I am only a woman； and I
have to struggle。 I have had to struggle more than perhaps you will
ever know。 Youmust not makemake things impossible for me。 I am
tryingvery hardtoI'myou must not touch me to…night； Boris。〃
She drew a little farther away from him。 A faint breath of air made
the leaves of the palm trees rustle slightly； made the reeds move for
an instant by the pool。 He laid his hand again on the wall from which
he had lifted it。 There was a pleading sound in her voice which made
him feel as if it were speaking close against his heart。
〃I said I would tell you to…night where we are going。〃
〃Tell me now。〃
〃We are going back to Beni…Mora。 We are not very far off from Beni…
Mora to…nightnot very far。〃
〃We are going to Beni…Mora！〃 he repeated in a dull voice。 〃We are〃
He sat up on the wall； looking straight into her face。
〃Why？〃 he said。 His voice was sharp now； sharp with fear。
〃Boris； do you want to be at peace； not with me； but with God？ Do you
want to get rid of your burden of misery； which increasesI know it
day by day？〃
〃How can I？〃 he said hopelessly。
〃Isn't expiation the only way？ I think it is。〃
〃Expiation！ Howhow canI can never expiate my sin。〃
〃There's no sin that cannot be expiated。 God isn't merciless。 Come
back with me to Beni…Mora。 That little churchwhere you married me
come back to it with me。 You could not confess to theto Father
Beret。 I feel as if I knew why。 Where you married me you willyou
mustmake your confession。〃
〃To the priest whoto Father Roubier！〃
There was fierce protest in his voice。
〃It does not matter who is the priest who will receive your
confession。 Only make it theremake it in the church at Beni…Mora
where you married me。〃
〃That was your purpose！ That is where you are taking me！ I can't go； I
won't！ Domini； think what you are doing！ You are asking too much〃
〃I feel that God is asking that of you。 Don't refuse Him。〃
〃I cannot goat Beni…Mora where wewhere everything will remind
us〃
〃Ah； don't you think I shall feel it too？ Don't you think I shall
suffer？〃
He felt horribly ashamed when she said that； bowed down with an
overwhelming weight of shame。
〃But our lives〃he stammered〃butif I goafterwardsif I make my
confessionafterwardsafterwards？〃
〃Isn't it enough to think of that one thing？ Isn't it better to put
everything else； every other thought； away？ It seems so clear to me
that we should go to Beni…Mora。 I feel as if I had been toldas a
child is told to do something by its father。〃
She looked up into the clear sky。
〃I am sure I have been told；〃 she added。 〃I know I have。〃
There was a long silence between them。 Androvsky felt that he did not
dare to break it。 Something in Domini's face and voice cast out from
him the instinct of revolt； of protest。 He began to feel exhausted；
without power； like a sick man who is being carried by bearers in a
litter； and who looks at the landscape through which he is passing
with listless eyes； and who scarcely has the force to care whither he
is being borne。
〃Domini；〃 he said at last； and his voice sounded very tired； 〃if you
say I must go to Beni…Mora I will go。 I have done you a great wrong
andand〃
〃Don't think of me any more；〃 she said。 〃Thinkthink as I doof
of What am I？ I have loved you； I shall always love you； but I am
as you are； here for a little while； elsewhere for all eternity。 You
told himthat man in the monasterythat we are shadows set in a
world of shadows。〃
〃That was a lie；〃 he interrupted； and the weariness had gone out of
his voice。 〃When I said that I had never loved； I had never loved
you。〃
〃Or was it a half…truth？ Aren't we； perhaps； shadow now in comparison
comparison to what we shall be？ Isn't this world； even thisthis
desert； this pool with the light on it； this silence of the night
around usisn't all this a shadow in comparison to the world where we
are going； you and I？ Boris； I think if we are brave now we shall be
together in that world。 But if we are cowards now； I think； I am sure；
that in that worldthe real worldwe shall be separated for ever。
You and I； whatever we may be； whatever we may have done； at least are
one thingwe are believers。 We don't think this is all。 If we did it
would be different。 But we can't change the truth that is in our
souls； and as we can't change it we must live by it； we must act by
it。 We can't do anything else。 I can'tand you？ Don't you feel； don't
you know； that you can't？〃
〃To…night；〃 he said； 〃I feel that I know nothingnothing except that
I am suffering。〃
His voice broke on the last words。 Tears were shining in his eyes。
After a long silence he said：
〃Domini； take me where you will。 If it is to Beni…Mora I will go。 But
butafterwards？〃
〃Afterwards〃 she said。
Then she stopped。
The little note of the frog sounded again and again by the still water
among the reeds。 The moon was higher in the sky。 〃Don't let us think
of afterwards； Boris；〃 she said at length。 〃That song we have heard
together； that song we love'No one but God and I knows what is in my
heart。' I hear it now so often； always almost。 It seems to gather
meaning； it seems toGod knows what is in your heart and mine。 He
will take care of theafterwards。 Perhaps in our hearts already He
has put a secret knowledge of the end。〃
〃Has Hehas He put itthat knowledgeinto yours？〃
〃Hush！〃 she said。
They spoke no more that night。
CHAPTER XXIX
The caravan of Domini and Androvsky was leaving Arba。
Already the tents and the attendants； with the camels and the mules；
were winding slowly along the plain through the scrub in the direction
of the mountains； and the dark shadow which indicated the oasis of
Beni…Mora。 Batouch was with them。 Domini and Androvsky were going to
be alone on this last stage of their desert journey。 They had mounted
their horses before the great door of the bordj； said goodbye to the
Sheikh of Arba； scattered some money among the ragged Arabs gathered
to watch them go； and cast one last look behind them。
In that mutual； instinctive look back they were both bidding a silent
farewell to the desert； that had sheltered their passion； surely taken
part in the joy of their love； watched the sorrow and the terror grow
in it to the climax at Amara； and was now whispering to th