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explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed。
He had just parted from my sister； had seen her leave him in the
greatest affliction； and if he felt obliged； from a fear of offending
Mrs。 Smith； to resist the temptation of returning here soon； and
yet aware that by declining your invitation； by saying that he was
going away for some time； he should seem to act an ungenerous； a
suspicious part by our family； he might well be embarrassed and
disturbed。 In such a case； a plain and open avowal of his
difficulties would have been more to his honour I think； as well as
more consistent with his general character；—but I will not raise
objections against any one’s conduct on so illiberal a foundation；
as a difference in judgment from myself； or a deviation from what I
may think right and consistent。”
“You speak very properly。 Willoughby certainly does not
deserve to be suspected。 Though we have not known him long； he
is no stranger in this part of the world； and who has ever spoken to
his disadvantage？ Had he been in a situation to act independently
and marry immediately； it might have been odd that he should
leave us without acknowledging everything to me at once： but this
is not the case。 It is an engagement in some respects not
prosperously begun； for their marriage must be at a very
uncertain distance； and even secrecy； as far as it can be observed；
may now be very advisable。”
They were interrupted by the entrance of Margaret； and Elinor
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was then at liberty to think over the representations of her
mother； to acknowledge the probability of many； and hope for the
justice of all。
They saw nothing of Marianne till dinner time； when she
entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a
word。 Her eyes were red and swollen； and it seemed as if her tears
were even then restrained with difficulty。 She avoided the looks of
them all； could neither eat nor speak； and after some time； on her
mother’s silently pressing her hand with tender compassion； her
small degree of fortitude was quite overcome； she burst into tears
and left the room。
This violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening。
She was without any power； because she was without any desire of
command over herself。 The slightest mention of anything relative
to Willoughby overpowered her in an instant； and though her
family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort； it was
impossible for them； if they spoke at all； to keep clear of every
subject which her feelings connected with him。
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CHAPTER XVI
arianne would have thought herself very inexcusable
had she been able to sleep at all the first night after
M
parting from Willoughby。 She would have been
ashamed to look her family in the face the next morning； had she
not risen from her bed in more need of repose than when she lay
down in it。 But the feelings which made such composure a
disgrace； left her in no danger of incurring it。 She was awake the
whole night； and she wept the greatest part of it。 She got up with a
headache； was unable to talk； and unwilling to take any
nourishment； giving pain every moment to her mother and sisters；
and forbidding all attempt at consolation from either。 Her
sensibility was potent enough！
When breakfast was over she walked out by herself； and
wandered about the village of Allenham； indulging the recollection
of past enjoyment and crying over the present reverse for the chief
of the morning。
The evening passed off in the equal indulgence of feeling。 She
played over every favourite song that she had been used to play to
Willoughby； every air in which their voices had been oftenest
joined； and sat at the instrument gazing on every line of music that
he had written out for her； till her heart was so heavy that no
farther sadness could be gained； and this nourishment of grief was
every day applied。 She spent whole hours at the pianoforté
alternately singing and crying； her voice often totally suspended
by her tears。 In books too； as well as in music； she courted the
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misery which a contrast between the past and present was certain
of giving。 She read nothing but what they had been used to read
together。
Such violence of affliction indeed could not be supported for
ever； it sunk within a few days into a calmer melancholy； but these
employments； to which she daily recurred； her solitary walks and
silent meditations； still produced occasional effusions of sorrow as
lively as ever。
No letter from Willoughby came； and none seemed expected by
Marianne。 Her mother was surprised； and Elinor again became
uneasy。 But Mrs。 Dashwood could find explanations whenever she
wanted them； which at least satisfied herself。
“Remember； Elinor；” said she； “how very often Sir John fetches
our letters himself from the post； and carries them to it。 We have
already agreed that secrecy may be necessary； and we must
acknowledge that it could not be maintained if their
correspondence were to pass through Sir John’s hands。”
Elinor could not deny the truth of this； and she tried to find in it
a motive sufficient for their silence。 But there was one method so
direct； so simple； and in her opinion so eligible of knowing the real
state of the affair； and of instantly removing all mystery； that she
could not help suggesting it to her mother。
“Why do you not ask Marianne at once；” said she； “whether she
is or she is not engaged to Willoughby？ From you； her mother； and
so kind； so indulgent a mother； the question could not give offence。
It would b