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Elinor stopped him with a reproof。
“Well；”—he replied—“once more good bye。 I shall now go away
and live in dread of one event。”
“What do you mean？”
“Your sister’s marriage。”
“You are very wrong。 She can never be more lost to you than
she is now。”
“But she will be gained by some one else。 And if that some one
should be the very he whom； of all others； I could least bear—but I
will not stay to rob myself of all your compassionate goodwill； by
shewing that where I have most injured I can least forgive。 Good
bye；—God bless you！”
And with these words； he almost ran out of the room。
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CHAPTER IX
linor； for some time after he left her； for some time even
after the sound of his carriage had died away； remained
E
too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas； widely differing
in themselves； but of which sadness was the general result； to
think even of her sister。
Willoughby； he； whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred
as the most worthless of men； Willoughby； in spite of all his faults；
excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by
them； which made her think of him as now separated for ever from
her family； with a tenderness； a regret； rather in proportion； as she
soon acknowledged within herself—to his wishes than to his
merits。 She felt that his influence over her mind was heightened
by circumstances which ought not in reason to have weight； by
that person of uncommon attraction； that open； affectionate； and
lively manner which it was no merit to possess； and by that still
ardent love for Marianne； which it was not even innocent to
indulge。 But she felt that it was so； long； long before she could feel
his influence less。
When at last she returned to the unconscious Marianne； she
found her just awaking； refreshed by so long and sweet a sleep to
the extent of her hopes。 Elinor’s heart was full。 The past； the
present； the future； Willoughby’s visit； Marianne’s safety； and her
mother’s expected arrival； threw her altogether into an agitation of
spirits which kept off every indication of fatigue； and made her
only fearful of betraying herself to her sister。 Short was the time；
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however； in which that fear could affect her； for within half an
hour after Willoughby’s leaving the house； she was again called
down stairs by the sound of another carriage。—Eager to save her
mother from every unnecessary moment’s horrible suspense； she
ran immediately into the hall； and reached the outward door just
in time to receive and support her as she entered it。
Mrs。 Dashwood； whose terror as they drew near the house had
produced almost the conviction of Marianne’s being no more； had
no voice to inquire after her； no voice even for Elinor； but she；
waiting neither for salutation nor inquiry； instantly gave the joyful
relief；—and her mother； catching it with all her usual warmth； was
in a moment as much overcome by her happiness； as she had been
before by her fears。 She was supported into the drawing…room
between her daughter and her friend；—and there； shedding tears
of joy； though still unable to speak； embraced Elinor again and
again； turning from her at intervals to press Colonel Brandon’s
hand； with a look which spoke at once her gratitude； and her
conviction of his sharing with herself in the bliss of the moment。
He shared it； however； in a silence even greater than her own。
As soon as Mrs。 Dashwood had recovered herself； to see
Marianne was her first desire； and in two minutes she was with
her beloved child； rendered dearer to her than ever by absence；
unhappiness； and danger。 Elinor’s delight； as she saw what each
felt in the meeting； was only checked by an apprehension of its
robbing Marianne of farther sleep；—but Mrs。 Dashwood could be
calm； could be even prudent； when the life of a child was at stake；
and Marianne； satisfied in knowing her mother was near her； and
conscious of being too weak for conversation； submitted readily to
the silence and quiet prescribed by every nurse around her。 Mrs。
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Dashwood would sit up with her all night； and Elinor； in
compliance with her mother’s entreaty； went to bed。 But the rest；
which one night entirely sleepless； and many hours of the most
wearing anxiety seemed to make requisite； was kept off by
irritation of spirits。 Willoughby； “poor Willoughby；” as she now
allowed herself to call him； was constantly in her thoughts； she
would not but have heard his vindication for the world； and now
blamed； now acquitted herself for having judged him so harshly
before。 But her promise of relating it to her sister was invariably
painful。 She dreaded the performance of it； dreaded what its effect
on Marianne might be； doubted whether after such an explanation
she could ever be happy with another； and for a moment wished
Willoughby a widower。 Then； remembering Colonel Brandon；
reproved herself； felt that to his sufferings and his constancy far
more than to his rival’s； the reward of her sister was due； and
wished any thing rather than Mrs。 Willoughby’s death。
The shock of Colonel Brandon’s errand at Barton had been
much softened to Mrs。 Dashwood by her own previous alarm； for
so great was her uneasiness about Marianne； that she had already
determined to set out for Cleveland on that very day； without
waiting for any further intelligence； and had so far settled her
journey before his arrival； that the Careys were then expected
every moment to fetch Margaret away； as her