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was likewise guilty of the basest ingratitude to his mother （a
vice to which fools are chiefly； if not only； liable）； and； in
return for her endeavors to procure him a throne in his youth；
confined her in a loathsome prison in her old age。 This； it is
true； he did by my advice； but as to her walking over nine
plowshares red…hot； and giving nine manors； when she had not one
in her possession； there is not a syllable of veracity in it。
〃The first great perplexity I fell into was on the account of my
son Swane； who had deflowered the abbess of Leon； since called
Leominster； in Herefordshire。 After this fact he retired into
Denmark； whence he sent to me to obtain his pardon。 The king at
first refused it； being moved thereto； as I afterwards found； by
some churchmen； particularly by one of his chaplains； whom I had
prevented from obtaining a bishopric。 Upon this my son Swane
invaded the coasts with several ships； and committed many
outrageous cruelties； which； indeed； did his business； as they
served me to apply to the fear of this king； which I had long
since discovered to be his predominant passion。 And； at last； he
who had refused pardon to his first offense submitted to give it
him after he had committed many other more monstrous crimes； by
which his pardon lost all grace to the offended； and received
double censure from all others。
〃The king was greatly inclined to the Normans； had created a
Norman archbishop of Canterbury； and had heaped extraordinary
favors on him。 I had no other objection to this man than that he
rose without my assistance； a cause of dislike which； in the
reign of great and powerful favorites； hath often proved fatal to
the persons who have given it； as the persons thus raised inspire
us constantly with jealousies and apprehensions。 For when we
promote any one ourselves； we take effectual care to preserve
such an ascendant over him； that we can at any time reduce him to
his former degree； should he dare to act in opposition to our
wills； for which reason we never suffer any to come near the
prince but such as we are assured it is impossible should be
capable of engaging or improving his affection； no prime
minister； as I apprehend； esteeming himself to be safe while any
other shares the ear of his prince； of whom we are as jealous as
the fondest husband can be of his wife。 Whoever； therefore； can
approach him by any other channel than that of ourselves； is； in
our opinion； a declared enemy； and one whom the first principles
of policy oblige us to demolish with the utmost expedition。 For
the affection of kings is as precarious as that of women； and the
only way to secure either to ourselves is to keep all others from
them。
〃But the archbishop did not let matters rest on suspicion。 He
soon gave open proofs of his interest with the Confessor in
procuring an office of some importance for one Rollo； a Roman of
mean extraction and very despicable parts。 When I represented to
the king the indecency of conferring such an honor on such a
fellow； he answered me that he was the archbishop's relation。
'Then； sir；' replied I； 'he is related to your enemy。' Nothing
more passed at that time； but I soon perceived； by the
archbishop's behavior； that the king had acquainted him with our
private discourse； a sufficient assurance of his confidence in
him and neglect of me。
〃The favor of princes； when once lost； is recoverable only by the
gaining a situation which may make you terrible to them。 As I
had no doubt of having lost all credit with this king； which
indeed had been originally founded and constantly supported by
his fear； so I took the method of terror to regain it。
〃The earl of Boulogne coming over to visit the king gave me an
opportunity of breaking out into open opposition； for； as the
earl was on his return to France； one of his servants； who was
sent before to procure lodgings at Dover； and insisted on having
them in the house of a private man in spite of the owner's teeth；
was； in a fray which ensued； killed on the spot； and the earl
himself； arriving there soon after； very narrowly escaped with
his life。 The earl； enraged at this affront； returned to the
king at Gloucester with loud complaints and demands of
satisfaction。 Edward consented to his demands； and ordered me to
chastise the rioters； who were under my government as earl of
Kent： but； instead of obeying these orders； I answered； with
some warmth； that the English were not used to punish people
unheard； nor ought their rights and privileges to be violated；
that the accused should be first summonedif guilty； should make
satisfaction both with body and estate； but； if innocent； should
be discharged。 Adding； with great ferocity； that as earl of Kent
it was my duty to protect those under my government against the
insults of foreigners。
〃This accident was extremely lucky； as it gave my quarrel with
the king a popular color； and so ingratiated me with the people；
that when I set up my standard； which I soon after did； they
readily and cheerfully listed under my banners and embraced my
cause； which I persuaded them was their own； for that it was to
protect them against foreigners that I had drawn my sword。 The
word foreigners with an Englishman hath a kind of magical effect；
they having the utmost hatred and aversion to them； arising from
the cruelties they suffered from the Danes and some other foreign
nations。 No wonder therefore they espoused my cause in a quarrel
which had such a beginning。
〃But what may be somewhat more remarkable is； that when I
afterwards returned to England from banishment； and was at the
head of an army of the Flemish； who were preparing to plunder the
city of London； I still persisted that I was come to defend the
English from the danger of foreigners； and gained their credit。
Indeed； there is no lie so gross but it may be imposed on the
people by those whom they esteem their patrons and defenders。
〃The king saved his city by being reconciled to me； and taking
again my daughter； whom he had put away from him； and thus；
having frightened the king into what concessions I thought
proper； I dismissed my army and fleet； with which I intended；
could I not have succeeded otherwise； to have sacked the city of
London and ravaged the whole country。
〃I was no sooner re…established in the king's favor； or； what was
as well for me； the appearance of it； than I fell violently on
the archbishop。 He had of himself retired to his monastery in
Normandy； but that did not content me： I had him formally
banished； the see declared vacant； and then filled up by another。
〃I enjoyed my grandeur a very short time after my restoration to
it； for the king； hating and fearing me to a very great degree；
and finding no means of openly destroying me； at last effected
his purpose by poison； and then spread abroad a ridiculous story；
of my wishing the next morsel might chok