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closet which I have spoken with detestation of in public。 To sum
up my history in short； as I had few adventures worth
remembering； my whole life was one constant lie； and happy would
it have been for me if I could as thoroughly have imposed on
myself as I did on others： for reflection； at every turn； would
often remind me I was not so wise as people thought me； and this
considerably embittered the pleasure I received from the public
commendation of my wisdom。 This self…admonition； like a memento
mori or mortalis es； must be； in my opinion； a very dangerous
enemy to flattery： indeed； a weight sufficient to counterbalance
all the false praise of the world。 But whether it be that the
generality of wise men do not reflect at all； or whether they
have； from a constant imposition on others； contracted such a
habit of deceit as to deceive themselves； I will not determine：
it is； I believe； most certain that very few wise men know
themselves what fools they are； more than the world doth。 Good
gods！ could one but see what passes in the closet of wisdom！ how
ridiculous a sight must it be to behold the wise man； who
despises gratifying his palate； devouring custard； the sober wise
man with his dram…bottle； or； the anti…carnalist （if I may be
allowed the expression） chuckling over a bdy book or picture；
and perhaps caressing his house…maid！
〃But to conclude a character in which I apprehend I made as
absurd a figure as in any in which I trod the stage of earth； my
wisdom at last but an end to itself； that is； occasioned my
dissolution。
〃A relation of mine in the eastern part of the empire
disinherited his son； and left me his heir。 This happened in the
depth of winter； when I was in my grand climacteric； and had just
recovered of a dangerous disease。 As I had all the reason
imaginable to apprehend the family of the deceased would conspire
against me； and embezzle as much as they could； I advised with a
grave and wise friend what was proper to be done； whether I
should go myself； or employ a notary on this occasion； and defer
my journey to the spring。 To say the truth； I was most inclined
to the latter； the rather as my circumstances were extremely
flourishing； as I was advanced in years； and had not one person
in the world to whom I should with pleasure bequeath any fortune
at my death。
〃My friend told me he thought my question admitted of no manner
of doubt or debate； that common prudence absolutely required my
immediate departure； adding； that if the same good luck had
happened to him he would have been already on his journey； 'for；'
continued he； 'a man who knows the world so well as you； would be
inexcusable to give persons such an opportunity of cheating you；
who； you must be assured； will be too well inclined； and as for
employing a notary； remember that excellent maxim； Ne facias per
alium； quod fieri potest per te。 I own the badness of the season
and your very late recovery are unlucky circumstances； but a wise
man must get over difficulties when necessity obliges him to
encounter them。'
〃I was immediately determined by this opinion。 The duty of a
wise man made an irresistible impression； and I took the
necessity for granted without examination。 I accordingly set
forward the next morning； very tempestuous weather soon overtook
me； I had not traveled three days before I relapsed into my
fever； and died。
〃I was now as cruelly disappointed by Minos as I had formerly
been happily so。 I advanced with the utmost confidence to the
gate； and really imagined I should have been admitted by the
wisdom of my countenance； even without any questions asked： but
this was not my case； and； to my great surprise； Minos； with a
menacing voice； called out to me； 'You Mr。 there； with the grave
countenance； whither so fast； pray？ Will you please； before you
move any farther forwards； to give me a short account of your
transactions below？' I then began； and recounted to him my whole
history； still expecting at the end of every period that the gate
would be ordered to fly open； but I was obliged to go quite
through with it； and then Minos after some little consideration
spoke to me as follows：
〃 'You； Mr。 Wiseman； stand forth if you please。 Believe me； sir；
a trip back again to earth will be one of the wisest steps you
ever took； and really more to the honor of your wisdom than any
you have hitherto taken。 On the other side； nothing could be
simpler than to endeavor at Elysium； for who but a fool would
carry a commodity； which is of such infinite value in one place；
into another where it is of none？ But； without attempting to
offend your gravity with a jest； you must return to the place
from whence you came； for Elysium was never designed for those
who are too wise to be happy。'
〃This sentence confounded me greatly； especially as it seemed to
threaten me with carrying my wisdom back again to earth。 I told
the judge； though he would not admit me at the gate； I hoped I
had committed no crime while alive which merited my being wise
any longer。 He answered me； I must take my chance as to that
matter； and immediately we turned our backs to each other。〃
CHAPTER XVII
Julian enters into the person of a king。
〃I was now born at Oviedo in Spain。 My father's name was
Veremond； and I was adopted by my uncle king Alphonso the chaste。
I don't recollect in all the pilgrimages I have made on earth
that I ever passed a more miserable infancy than now； being under
the utmost confinement and restraint； and surrounded with
physicians who were ever dosing me； and tutors who were
continually plaguing me with their instructions； even those hours
of leisure which my inclination would have spent in play were
allotted to tedious pomp and ceremony； which； at an age wherein I
had no ambition to enjoy the servility of courtiers； enslaved me
more than it could the meanest of them。 However； as I advanced
towards manhood； my condition made me some amends； for the most
beautiful women of their own accord threw out lures for me； and I
had the happiness； which no man in an inferior degree can arrive
at； of enjoying the most delicious creatures； without the
previous and tiresome ceremonies of courtship； unless with the
most simple； young and unexperienced。 As for the court ladies；
they regarded me rather as men do the most lovely of the other
sex； and； though they outwardly retained some appearance of
modesty； they in reality rather considered themselves as
receiving than conferring favors。
〃Another happiness I enjoyed was in conferring favors of another
sort； for； as I was extremely good…natured and generous； so I had
daily opportunities of satisfying those passions。 Besides my own
princely allowance； which was very bountiful； and with which I
did many liberal and good actions； I recommended numberless
persons of merit in distress to the king's notice； most of whom
were