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tongue！ Intrepid mariner； he plunges in； armed with a few phrases； to
catch five or six thousand francs in the frozen seas； in the domain of
the red Indians who inhabit the interior of France。 The provincial
fish will not rise to harpoons and torches； it can only be taken with
seines and nets and gentlest persuasions。 The traveller's business is
to extract the gold in country caches by a purely intellectual
operation； and to extract it pleasantly and without pain。 Can you
think without a shudder of the flood of phrases which； day by day；
renewed each dawn； leaps in cascades the length and breadth of sunny
France？
You know the species； let us now take a look at the individual。
There lives in Paris an incomparable commercial traveller； the paragon
of his race； a man who possesses in the highest degree all the
qualifications necessary to the nature of his success。 His speech is
vitriol and likewise glue；glue to catch and entangle his victim and
make him sticky and easy to grip； vitriol to dissolve hard heads；
close fists； and closer calculations。 His line was once the HAT； but
his talents and the art with which he snared the wariest provincial
had brought him such commercial celebrity that all vendors of the
〃article Paris〃＇*＇ paid court to him； and humbly begged that he would
deign to take their commissions。
＇*＇ 〃Article Paris〃 means anythingespecially articles of wearing
apparelwhich originates or is made in Paris。 The name is
supposed to give to the thing a special value in the provinces。
Thus； when he returned to Paris in the intervals of his triumphant
progress through France； he lived a life of perpetual festivity in the
shape of weddings and suppers。 When he was in the provinces； the
correspondents in the smaller towns made much of him； in Paris； the
great houses feted and caressed him。 Welcomed； flattered； and fed
wherever he went； it came to pass that to breakfast or to dine alone
was a novelty； an event。 He lived the life of a sovereign； or； better
still； of a journalist； in fact； he was the perambulating 〃feuilleton〃
of Parisian commerce。
His name was Gaudissart； and his renown； his vogue； the flatteries
showered upon him； were such as to win for him the surname of
Illustrious。 Wherever the fellow went；behind a counter or before a
bar； into a salon or to the top of a stage…coach； up to a garret or to
dine with a banker；every one said； the moment they saw him； 〃Ah！
here comes the illustrious Gaudissart！〃＇*＇ No name was ever so in
keeping with the style； the manners； the countenance； the voice； the
language； of any man。 All things smiled upon our traveller； and the
traveller smiled back in return。 〃Similia similibus；〃he believed in
homoeopathy。 Puns； horse…laugh； monkish face； skin of a friar； true
Rabelaisian exterior； clothing； body； mind； and features； all pulled
together to put a devil…may…care jollity into every inch of his
person。 Free…handed and easy…going； he might be recognized at once as
the favorite of grisettes； the man who jumps lightly to the top of a
stage…coach； gives a hand to the timid lady who fears to step down；
jokes with the postillion about his neckerchief and contrives to sell
him a cap； smiles at the maid and catches her round the waist or by
the heart； gurgles at dinner like a bottle of wine and pretends to
draw the cork by sounding a filip on his distended cheek； plays a tune
with his knife on the champagne glasses without breaking them； and
says to the company； 〃Let me see you do THAT〃； chaffs the timid
traveller； contradicts the knowing one； lords it over a dinner…table
and manages to get the titbits for himself。 A strong fellow；
nevertheless； he can throw aside all this nonsense and mean business
when he flings away the stump of his cigar and says； with a glance at
some town； 〃I'll go and see what those people have got in their
stomachs。〃
＇*＇ 〃Se gaudir；〃 to enjoy； to make fun。 〃Gaudriole；〃 gay discourse；
rather free。Littre。
When buckled down to his work he became the slyest and cleverest of
diplomats。 All things to all men； he knew how to accost a banker like
a capitalist； a magistrate like a functionary； a royalist with pious
and monarchical sentiments； a bourgeois as one of themselves。 In
short； wherever he was he was just what he ought to be； he left
Gaudissart at the door when he went in； and picked him up when he came
out。
Until 1830 the illustrious Gaudissart was faithful to the article
Paris。 In his close relation to the caprices of humanity； the varied
paths of commerce had enabled him to observe the windings of the heart
of man。 He had learned the secret of persuasive eloquence； the knack
of loosening the tightest purse…strings； the art of rousing desire in
the souls of husbands； wives； children； and servants； and what is
more； he knew how to satisfy it。 No one had greater faculty than he
for inveigling a merchant by the charms of a bargain； and disappearing
at the instant when desire had reached its crisis。 Full of gratitude
to the hat…making trade； he always declared that it was his efforts in
behalf of the exterior of the human head which had enabled him to
understand its interior： he had capped and crowned so many people； he
was always flinging himself at their heads； etc。 His jokes about hats
and heads were irrepressible； though perhaps not dazzling。
Nevertheless； after August and October； 1830； he abandoned the hat
trade and the article Paris； and tore himself from things mechanical
and visible to mount into the higher spheres of Parisian speculation。
〃He forsook；〃 to use his own words； 〃matter for mind； manufactured
products for the infinitely purer elaborations of human intelligence。〃
This requires some explanation。
The general upset of 1830 brought to birth； as everybody knows； a
number of old ideas which clever speculators tried to pass off in new
bodies。 After 1830 ideas became property。 A writer； too wise to
publish his writings； once remarked that 〃more ideas are stolen than
pocket…handkerchiefs。〃 Perhaps in course of time we may have an
Exchange for thought； in fact； even now ideas； good or bad； have their
consols； are bought up； imported； exported； sold； and quoted like
stocks。 If ideas are not on hand ready for sale； speculators try to
pass off words in their stead； and actually live upon them as a bird
lives on the seeds of his millet。 Pray do not laugh； a word is worth
quite as much as an idea in a land where the ticket on a sack is of
more importance than the contents。 Have we not seen libraries working
off the word 〃picturesque〃 when literature would have cut the throat
of the word 〃fantastic〃？ Fiscal genius has guessed the proper tax on
intellect； it has accurately estimated the profits of advertising； it
has registered a prospectus of the quantity and exact value of the
property； weighing its thought at the intellectual Stamp Office in the
Rue de la Paix。
Having become an article of commerce；