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lead。 As the weeks went on there she lived more and more into the
world of whiffs and glimpses； she found her divinations work faster
and stretch further。 It was a prodigious view as the pressure
heightened； a panorama fed with facts and figures； flushed with a
torrent of colour and accompanied with wondrous world…music。 What
it mainly came to at this period was a picture of how London could
amuse itself； and that； with the running commentary of a witness so
exclusively a witness； turned for the most part to a hardening of
the heart。 The nose of this observer was brushed by the bouquet；
yet she could never really pluck even a daisy。 What could still
remain fresh in her daily grind was the immense disparity； the
difference and contrast； from class to class； of every instant and
every motion。 There were times when all the wires in the country
seemed to start from the little hole…and…corner where she plied for
a livelihood； and where； in the shuffle of feet； the flutter of
〃forms；〃 the straying of stamps and the ring of change over the
counter； the people she had fallen into the habit of remembering
and fitting together with others； and of having her theories and
interpretations of； kept up before her their long procession and
rotation。 What twisted the knife in her vitals was the way the
profligate rich scattered about them； in extravagant chatter over
their extravagant pleasures and sins； an amount of money that would
have held the stricken household of her frightened childhood； her
poor pinched mother and tormented father and lost brother and
starved sister； together for a lifetime。 During her first weeks
she had often gasped at the sums people were willing to pay for the
stuff they transmittedthe 〃much love〃s； the 〃awful〃 regrets； the
compliments and wonderments and vain vague gestures that cost the
price of a new pair of boots。 She had had a way then of glancing
at the people's faces； but she had early learnt that if you became
a telegraphist you soon ceased to be astonished。 Her eye for types
amounted nevertheless to genius； and there were those she liked and
those she hated； her feeling for the latter of which grew to a
positive possession； an instinct of observation and detection。
There were the brazen women； as she called them； of the higher and
the lower fashion； whose squanderings and graspings； whose
struggles and secrets and love…affairs and lies； she tracked and
stored up against them till she had at moments； in private； a
triumphant vicious feeling of mastery and ease； a sense of carrying
their silly guilty secrets in her pocket； her small retentive
brain； and thereby knowing so much more about them than they
suspected or would care to think。 There were those she would have
liked to betray； to trip up； to bring down with words altered and
fatal； and all through a personal hostility provoked by the
lightest signs； by their accidents of tone and manner； by the
particular kind of relation she always happened instantly to feel。
There were impulses of various kinds； alternately soft and severe；
to which she was constitutionally accessible and which were
determined by the smallest accidents。 She was rigid in general on
the article of making the public itself affix its stamps； and found
a special enjoyment in dealing to that end with some of the ladies
who were too grand to touch them。 She had thus a play of
refinement and subtlety greater； she flattered herself； than any of
which she could be made the subject； and though most people were
too stupid to be conscious of this it brought her endless small
consolations and revenges。 She recognised quite as much those of
her sex whom she would have liked to help； to warn； to rescue； to
see more of； and that alternative as well operated exactly through
the hazard of personal sympathy； her vision for silver threads and
moonbeams and her gift for keeping the clues and finding her way in
the tangle。 The moonbeams and silver threads presented at moments
all the vision of what poor SHE might have made of happiness。
Blurred and blank as the whole thing often inevitably； or
mercifully； became； she could still； through crevices and crannies；
be stupefied； especially by what； in spite of all seasoning；
touched the sorest place in her consciousness； the revelation of
the golden shower flying about without a gleam of gold for herself。
It remained prodigious to the end； the money her fine friends were
able to spend to get still more； or even to complain to fine
friends of their own that they were in want。 The pleasures they
proposed were equalled only by those they declined； and they made
their appointments often so expensively that she was left wondering
at the nature of the delights to which the mere approaches were so
paved with shillings。 She quivered on occasion into the perception
of this and that one whom she would on the chance have just simply
liked to BE。 Her conceit； her baffled vanity； was possibly
monstrous； she certainly often threw herself into a defiant
conviction that she would have done the whole thing much better。
But her greatest comfort； mostly； was her comparative vision of the
men； by whom I mean the unmistakeable gentlemen； for she had no
interest in the spurious or the shabby and no mercy at all for the
poor。 She could have found a sixpence； outside； for an appearance
of want； but her fancy； in some directions so alert； had never a
throb of response for any sign of the sordid。 The men she did
track； moreover； she tracked mainly in one relation； the relation
as to which the cage convinced her； she believed； more than
anything else could have done； that it was quite the most diffused。
She found her ladies； in short； almost always in communication with
her gentlemen； and her gentlemen with her ladies； and she read into
the immensity of their intercourse stories and meanings without
end。 Incontestably she grew to think that the men cut the best
figure； and in this particular； as in many others； she arrived at a
philosophy of her own； all made up of her private notations and
cynicisms。 It was a striking part of the business； for example；
that it was much more the women； on the whole； who were after the
men than the men who were after the women： it was literally
visible that the general attitude of the one sex was that of the
object pursued and defensive； apologetic and attenuating； while the
light of her own nature helped her more or less to conclude as to
the attitude of the other。 Perhaps she herself a little even fell
into the custom of pursuit in occasionally deviating only for
gentlemen from her high rigour about the stamps。 She had early in
the day made up her mind； in fine； that they had the best manners；
and if there were none of them she noticed when Captain Everard was
there； there were plenty she could place and trace and name at
other times； plenty who； with their way of being 〃nice〃 to her； and
of handling； as if th