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in the cage-第12章

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they were in danger; Captain Everard and Lady Bradeen:  it beat

every novel in the shop。  She thought of Mr。 Mudge and his safe

sentiment; she thought of herself and blushed even more for her

tepid response to it。  It was a comfort to her at such moments to

feel that in another relationa relation supplying that affinity

with her nature that Mr。 Mudge; deluded creature; would never

supplyshe should have been no more tepid than her ladyship。  Her

deepest soundings were on two or three occasions of finding herself

almost sure that; if she dared; her ladyship's lover would have

gathered relief from 〃speaking〃 to her。  She literally fancied once

or twice that; projected as he was toward his doom; her own eyes

struck him; while the air roared in his ears; as the one pitying

pair in the crowd。  But how could he speak to her while she sat

sandwiched there between the counter…clerk and the sounder?



She had long ago; in her comings and goings made acquaintance with

Park Chambers and reflected as she looked up at their luxurious

front that they of course would supply the ideal setting for the

ideal speech。  There was not an object in London that; before the

season was over; was more stamped upon her brain。  She went

roundabout to pass it; for it was not on the short way; she passed

on the opposite side of the street and always looked up; though it

had taken her a long time to be sure of the particular set of

windows。  She had made that out finally by an act of audacity that

at the time had almost stopped her heart…beats and that in

retrospect greatly quickened her blushes。  One evening she had

lingered late and watchedwatched for some moment when the porter;

who was in uniform and often on the steps; had gone in with a

visitor。  Then she followed boldly; on the calculation that he

would have taken the visitor up and that the hall would be free。

The hall WAS free; and the electric light played over the gilded

and lettered board that showed the names and numbers of the

occupants of the different floors。  What she wanted looked straight

at herCaptain Everard was on the third。  It was as if; in the

immense intimacy of this; they were; for the instant and the first

time; face to face outside the cage。  Alas! they were face to face

but a second or two:  she was whirled out on the wings of a panic

fear that he might just then be entering or issuing。  This fear was

indeed; in her shameless deflexions; never very far from her; and

was mixed in the oddest way with depressions and disappointments。

It was dreadful; as she trembled by; to run the risk of looking to

him as if she basely hung about; and yet it was dreadful to be

obliged to pass only at such moments as put an encounter out of the

question。



At the horrible hour of her first coming to Cocker's he was always…

…it was to be hopedsnug in bed; and at the hour of her final

departure he was of courseshe had such things all on her

fingers'…endsdressing for dinner。  We may let it pass that if she

couldn't bring herself to hover till he was dressed; this was

simply because such a process for such a person could only be

terribly prolonged。  When she went in the middle of the day to her

own dinner she had too little time to do anything but go straight;

though it must be added that for a real certainty she would

joyously have omitted the repast。  She had made up her mind as to

there being on the whole no decent pretext to justify her flitting

casually past at three o'clock in the morning。  That was the hour

at which; if the ha'penny novels were not all wrong; he probably

came home for the night。  She was therefore reduced to the vainest

figuration of the miraculous meeting toward which a hundred

impossibilities would have to conspire。  But if nothing was more

impossible than the fact; nothing was more intense than the vision。

What may not; we can only moralise; take place in the quickened

muffled perception of a young person with an ardent soul?  All our

humble friend's native distinction; her refinement of personal

grain; of heredity; of pride; took refuge in this small throbbing

spot; for when she was most conscious of the objection of her

vanity and the pitifulness of her little flutters and manoeuvres;

then the consolation and the redemption were most sure to glow

before her in some just discernible sign。  He did like her!







CHAPTER XIII







He never brought Cissy back; but Cissy came one day without him; as

fresh as before from the hands of Marguerite; or only; at the

season's end; a trifle less fresh。  She was; however; distinctly

less serene。  She had brought nothing with her and looked about

with impatience for the forms and the place to write。  The latter

convenience; at Cocker's; was obscure and barely adequate; and her

clear voice had the light note of disgust which her lover's never

showed as she responded with a 〃There?〃 of surprise to the gesture

made by the counter…clerk in answer to her sharp question。  Our

young friend was busy with half a dozen people; but she had

dispatched them in her most businesslike manner by the time her

ladyship flung through the bars this light of re…appearance。  Then

the directness with which the girl managed to receive the

accompanying missive was the result of the concentration that had

caused her to make the stamps fly during the few minutes occupied

by the production of it。  This concentration; in turn; may be

described as the effect of the apprehension of imminent relief。  It

was nineteen days; counted and checked off; since she had seen the

object of her homage; and as; had he been in London; she should;

with his habits; have been sure to see him often; she was now about

to learn what other spot his presence might just then happen to

sanctify。  For she thought of them; the other spots; as

ecstatically conscious of it; expressively happy in it。



But; gracious; how handsome was her ladyship; and what an added

price it gave him that the air of intimacy he threw out should have

flowed originally from such a source!  The girl looked straight

through the cage at the eyes and lips that must so often have been

so near as ownlooked at them with a strange passion that for an

instant had the result of filling out some of the gaps; supplying

the missing answers; in his correspondence。  Then as she made out

that the features she thus scanned and associated were totally

unaware of it; that they glowed only with the colour of quite other

and not at all guessable thoughts; this directly added to their

splendour; gave the girl the sharpest impression she had yet

received of the uplifted; the unattainable plains of heaven; and

yet at the same time caused her to thrill with a sense of the high

company she did somehow keep。  She was with the absent through her

ladyship and with her ladyship through the absent。  The only pang

but it didn't matterwas the proof in the admirable face; in the

sightless preoccupation of its possesso
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