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peevish towards me。 As for Varinka's father； with his home…made boots
and his kind smile； so like her own； I felt a sort of tenderness for him that
was almost rapture。
〃After supper I danced the promised quadrille with her； and though I
had been infinitely happy before； I grew still happier every moment。
〃We did not speak of love。 I neither asked myself nor her whether
she loved me。 It was quite enough to know that I loved her。 And I had
only one fearthat something might come to interfere with my great joy。
〃When I went home； and began to undress for the night； I found it
quite out of the question。 held the little feather out of her fan in my hand；
and one of her gloves which she gave me when I helped her into the
carriage after her mother。 Looking at these things； and without closing my
eyes I could see her before me as she was for an instant when she had to
choose between two partners。 She tried to guess what kind of person was
represented in me； and I could hear her sweet voice as she said； 'Prideam
I right？' and merrily gave me her hand。 At supper she took the first sip
from my glass of champagne； looking at me over the rim with her
caressing glance。 But； plainest of all； I could see her as she danced with
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her father； gliding along beside him； and looking at the admiring observers
with pride and happiness。
〃He and she were united in my mind in one rush of pathetic
tenderness。
〃I was living then with my brother； who has since died。 He disliked
going out； and never went to dances； and besides； he was busy preparing
for his last university examinations； and was leading a very regular life。
He was asleep。 I looked at him； his head buried in the pillow and half
covered with the quilt； and I affectionately pitied him； pitied him for his
ignorance of the bliss I was experiencing。 Our serf Petrusha had met me
with a candle； ready to undress me； but I sent him away。 His sleepy face
and tousled hair seemed to me so touching。 Trying not to make a noise； I
went to my room on tiptoe and sat down on my bed。 No； I was too happy；
I could not sleep。 Besides； it was too hot in the rooms。 Without taking
off my uniform； I went quietly into the hall； put on my overcoat； opened
the front door and stepped out into the street。
〃It was after four when I had left the ball； going home and stopping
there a while had occupied two hours； so by the time I went out it was
dawn。 It was regular carnival weatherfoggy； and the road full of water…
soaked snow just melting； and water dripping from the eaves。 Varinka's
family lived on the edge of town near a large field； one end of which was a
parade ground： at the other end was a boarding…school for young ladies。
I passed through our empty little street and came to the main thoroughfare；
where I met pedestrians and sledges laden with wood； the runners grating
the road。 The horses swung with regular paces beneath their shining yokes；
their backs covered with straw mats and their heads wet with rain； while
the drivers； in enormous boots； splashed through the mud beside the
sledges。 All this； the very horses themselves； seemed to me stimulating
and fascinating； full of suggestion。
〃When I approached the field near their house； I saw at one end of it；
in the direction of the parade ground； something very huge and black； and
I heard sounds of fife and drum proceeding from it。 My heart had been full
of song； and I had heard in imagination the tune of the mazurka； but this
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was very harsh music。 It was not pleasant。
〃'What can that be？' I thought； and went towards the sound by a
slippery path through the centre of the field。 Walking about a hundred
paces； I began to distinguish many black objects through the mist。 They
were evidently soldiers。 'It is probably a drill；' I thought。
〃So I went along in that direction in company with a blacksmith； who
wore a dirty coat and an apron； and was carrying something。 He walked
ahead of me as we approached the place。 The soldiers in black uniforms
stood in two rows； facing each other motionless； their guns at rest。
Behind them stood the fifes and drums； incessantly repeating the same
unpleasant tune。
〃'What are they doing？' I asked the blacksmith； who halted at my
side。
〃'A Tartar is being beaten through the ranks for his attempt to desert；'
said the blacksmith in an angry tone； as he looked intently at the far end of
the line。
〃I looked in the same direction； and saw between the files something
horrid approaching me。 The thing that approached was a man； stripped
to the waist； fastened with cords to the guns of two soldiers who were
leading him。 At his side an officer in overcoat and cap was walking； whose
figure had a familiar look。 The victim advanced under the blows that
rained upon him from both sides； his whole body plunging； his feet
dragging through the snow。 Now he threw himself backward； and the
subalterns who led him thrust him forward。 Now he fell forward； and
they pulled him up short； while ever at his side marched the tall officer；
with firm and nervous pace。 It was Varinka's father； with his rosy face and
white moustache。
〃At each stroke the man； as if amazed； turned his face； grimacing with
pain； towards the side whence the blow came； and showing his white teeth
repeated the same words over and over。 But I could only hear what the
words were when he came quite near。 He did not speak them； he sobbed
them out；〃'Brothers； have mercy on me！ Brothers； have mercy on me！'
But the brothers had； no mercy； and when the procession came close to me；
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I saw how a soldier who stood opposite me took a firm step forward and
lifting his stick with a whirr； brought it down upon the man's back。 The
man plunged forward； but the subalterns pulled him back； and ano