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responsibility has become a pleasure which I find myself loth to
discontinue。 All power leads to tyranny。 Man cannot be trusted with it。
Its exercise becomes a consuming passion； and he abuses it。 The story is
the same； whether nations or individuals be considered。 I myself； you
see； am a case in point。 I thank you for the patience you have shown and
the pains you have taken to make everything easy and pleasant for me； and
now I must be going； as I have yet much to do in this matter。 〃It may be
a long time；〃 he said； extending his hand to her； 〃before we meet again。
We have travelled the same path … 〃 but he paused as if unable to proceed；
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and a deadly pallor overspread his face as he let fall both her hand and his
own。 He made a heroic effort to proceed。
〃I … I shall miss … very … very much miss … pray pardon me … I … I
believe I'm ill … a little faint I'd … I'd better get out into the air … I shall …
shall miss … pardon … I … I'm not quite myself … goodbye； good…bye！〃 and he
staggered unsteadily； half blindly to the door and out into the street
without another word。 He certainly did look ill。
Gwen's face was a study。 In it surprise； fear； pain； and dismay； each
struggled for predominance。 She tried to retain her self…control while I
was present； but it was all in vain。 A moment later she threw herself
upon the sofa； and； burying her face in the cushions； wept long and bitterly。
I stole quietly away and sent Alice to her； and after a time she regained her
self…control； if not her usual interest in affairs。
As day after day passed； however； and Maitland neglected to call；
transacting such business as he had through me； the shadow on Gwen's
face deepened； and the elasticity of manner； whereof she had given such
promise at Maitland's last visit； totally deserted her； giving place to a
dreamy； far…away stolidity of disposition which I knew full well boded no
good。 I stood this sort of thing as long as I could； and then I determined
to call on Maitland and give him a 〃piece of my mind。〃
I did call； but when I saw him all my belligerent resolutions vanished。
He was sitting at his table trying to work out some complicated problem；
and he was utterly unfitted for a single minute's consecutive thought。 I
had not seen him for more than two weeks； and during that time he had
grown to look ten years older。 His face was drawn； haggard； and deathly
pale。
〃For Heaven's sake； George；〃 I exclaimed； 〃what is the matter with
you？〃
〃I've an idea I'm spleeny；〃 he replied with a ghastly attempt at a smile。
This was too much for me。 He should have the lecture after all。 The
man who thinks he is dying may be spleeny； but the man who says he is
spleeny is； of the two； the one more likely to be dying。
〃See here； old man；〃 I began； 〃don't you get to thinking that when you
hide your own head in the sand no one can see the colour of your feathers。
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You might as well try to cover up Bunker Hill Monument with a wisp of
straw。 Don't you suppose I know you love Gwen Darrow？ That's
what's the matter with you。〃
〃Well；〃 he replied； 〃and if it is； what then？〃
〃What then？〃 I ejaculated。 〃What then？ Why go to her like a man；
tell her you love her and ask her to be your wife。 That's what I'd do if I
loved … 〃 But he interrupted me before I had finished the lie； and I was
not sorry； for； if I had thought before I became involved in that last
sentence； how I feared to speak to Jeannette … well； I should have left it
unsaid。 I have made my living giving advice till it has become a fixed
habit。
〃See here； Doc；〃 he broke in upon me； 〃I do love Gwen Darrow as few
men ever love a woman； and the knowledge that she can never be my wife
is killing me。 Don't interrupt me！ I know what I am saying。 She can
never be my wife！ Do you think I would sue for her hand？ Do you think
I would be guilty of making traffic of her gratitude？ Has she not her
father's command to wed me if I but ask her； even as she would have wed
that scoundrel； Godin； had things gone as he planned them？ Did she not
tell us both that she should keep her covenant with her father though it
meant for her a fate worse than death？ And you would have me profit by
her sacrifice？ For shame！ Love may wither my heart till it rustles in my
breast like a dried leaf； but I will never； never let her know how I love her。
And see here； Doc； promise me that you will not tell her I love her … nay；
I insist on it。〃
Thus importuned I said； though it went much against the grain； for that
was the very thing I had intended； 〃She shall not learn it first through me。〃
This seemed to satisfy him； for he said no more upon the subject。 When
I went back to Gwen I was in no better frame of mind than when I left her。
Here were two people so determined to be miserable in spite of everything
and everybody that I sought Jeannette by way of counter…irritant for my
wounded sympathy。
Ah； Jeannette！ Jeannette！ to this day the sound of your sweet name
is like a flash of colour to the eye。 You were a bachelor's first and last
love； and he will never forget you。
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CHAPTER V
All human things cease … some end。 Happy are they who can
spring the hard and brittle bar of experience into a bow of promise。
For such； there shall ever more be an orderly gravitation。
My next call on Maitland was professional。 I found him abed and in
a critical condition。 I blamed myself severely that I had allowed other
duties to keep me so long away； and had him at once removed to the house；
where I might； by constant attendance in the future； atone for my
negligence in the past。 Despite all our efforts； however； Maitland