按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
to…morrow； dead or alive； she shall go to the workhouse！〃
This time I managed to push by him； and get to my own room； and
lock the door in his face。 As soon as I was alone I fell into a
breathless； suffocating fit of crying that seemed to be shaking
me to pieces。 But there was no good and no help in tears； I did
my best to calm myself after a little while； and tried to think
who I should run to for help and protection。
The doctor was the first friend I thought of； but I knew he was
always out seeing his patients of an afternoon。 The beadle was
the next person who came into my head。 He had the look of being a
very dignified； unapproachable kind of man when he came about the
inquest； but he talked to me a little then； and said I was a good
girl； and seemed； I really thought； to pity me。 So to him I
determined to apply in my great danger and distress。
Most fortunately； I found him at home。 When I told him of the
landlord's infamous threats； and of the misery I was suffering in
consequence of them； he rose up with a stamp of his foot； and
sent for his gold…laced cocked hat that he wears on Sundays； and
his long cane with the ivory top to it。
〃I'll give it to him；〃 said the beadle。 〃Come along with me； my
dear。 I think I told you you were a good girl at the inquestif
I didn't； I tell you so now。 I'll give it to him！ Come along with
me。〃
And he went out； striding on with his cocked hat and his great
cane； and I followed him。
〃Landlord！〃 he cries； the moment he gets into the passage； with a
thump of his cane on the floor； 〃landlord！〃 with a look all round
him as if he was King of England calling to a beast； 〃come out！〃
The moment the landlord came out and saw who it was； his eye
fixed on the cocked hat； and he turned as pale as ashes。
〃How dare you frighten this poor girl？〃 says the beadle。 〃How
dare you bully her at this sorrowful time with threatening to do
what you know you can't do？ How dare you be a cowardly； bullying；
braggadocio of an unmanly landlord？ Don't talk to me： I won't
hear you。 I'll pull you up； sir。 If you say another word to the
young woman； I'll pull you up before the authorities of this
metropolitan parish。 I've had my eye on you； and the authorities
have had their eye on you； and the rector has had his eye on you。
We don't like the look of your small shop round the corner； we
don't like the look of some of the customers who deal at it； we
don't like disorderly characters； and we don't by any manner of
means like you。 Go away。 Leave the young woman alone。 Hold your
tongue； or I'll pull you up。 If he says another word； or
interferes with you again； my dear； come and tell me； and； as
sure as he's a bullying； unmanly； braggadocio of a landlord； I'll
pull him up。〃
With those words the beadle gave a loud cough to clear his
throat； and another thump of his cane on the floor； and so went
striding out again before I could open my lips to thank him。 The
landlord slunk back into his room without a word。 I was left
alone and unmolested at last； to strengthen myself for the hard
trial of my poor love's funeral to…morrow。
March 13th。 It is all over。 A week ago her head rested on my
bosom。 It is laid in the churchyard now； the fresh earth lies
heavy over her grave。 I and my dearest friend； the sister of my
love； are parted in this world forever。
I followed her funeral alone through the cruel； hustling streets。
Sally； I thought； might have offered to go with me； but she never
so much as came into my room。 I did not like to think badly of
her for this； and I am glad I restrained myself； for； when we got
into the churchyard； among the two or three people who were
standing by the open grave I saw Sally； in her ragged gray shawl
and her patched black bonnet。 She did not seem to notice me till
the last words of the service had been read and the clergyman had
gone away； then she came up and spoke to me。
〃I couldn't follow along with you；〃 she said； looking at her
ragged shawl； 〃for I haven't a decent suit of clothes to walk in。
I wish I could get vent in crying for her like you； but I can't；
all the crying's been drudged and starved out of me long ago。
Don't you think about lighting your fire when you get home。 I'll
do that； and get you a drop of tea to comfort you。〃
She seemed on the point of saying a kind word or two more； when；
seeing the beadle coming toward me； she drew back； as if she was
afraid of him； and left the churchyard。
〃Here's my subscription toward the funeral；〃 said the beadle；
giving me back his shilling fee。 〃Don't say anything about it；
for it mightn't be approved of in a business point of view； if it
came to some people's ears。 Has the landlord said anything more
to you？ no； I thought not。 He's too polite a man to give me the
trouble of pulling him up。 Don't stop crying here； my dear。 Take
the advice of a man familiar with funerals； and go home。〃
I tried to take his advice； but it seemed like deserting Mary to
go away when all the rest forsook her。
I waited about till the earth was thrown in and the man had left
the place； then I returned to the grave。 Oh； how bare and cruel
it was； without so much as a bit of green turf to soften it！ Oh；
how much harder it seemed to live than to die； when I stood alone
looking at the heavy piled…up lumps of clay； and thinking of what
was hidden beneath them！
I was driven home by my own despairing thoughts。 The sight of
Sally lighting the fire in my room eased my heart a little。 When
she was gone； I took up Robert's letter again to keep my mind
employed on the only subject in the world that has any interest
for it now。
This fresh reading increased the doubts I had already felt
relative to his having remained in America after writing to me。
My grief and forlornness have made a strange alteration in my
former feelings about his coming back。 I seem to have lost all my
prudence and self…denial； and to care so little about his
poverty； and so much about himself； that the prospect of his
return is really the only comforting thought I have now to
support me。 I know this is weak in me； and that his coming back
can l ead to no good result for either of us； but he is the only
living being left me to love； andI can't explain itbut I want
to put my arms round his neck and tell him about Mary。
March 14th。 I locked up the end of the cravat in my
writing…desk。 No change in the dreadful suspicions that the bare
sight of it rouses in me。 I tremble if I so much as touch it。
March 15th； 16th； 17th。 Work； work； work。 If I don't knock up；
I shall be able to pay back the advance in another week； and
then； with a little more pinching in my daily expenses； I may
succeed in saving a shilling or two to get some turf to put over
Mary's grave； and perhaps even a few flowers besides to grow
round it。
March 18th。 Thinking of Robert all day long。 Does this mean
that he is really coming back？ If it does； reckoning the distance
he is at from New York； and the time ships take to get to
England； I might see him by the end of April or the beginning of
May。
March 19th。 I don't remember my mind running once on the end of
the cravat yesterday； and I