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the history of john bull-第23章

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With this he slunk away。

Then Jack's friends began to hunch and push one another:  〃Why don't you go and cut the poor fellow down?〃  〃Why don't you?〃  〃And why don't you?〃  〃Not I;〃 quoth one。  〃Not I;〃 quoth another。  〃Not I;〃 quoth a third; 〃he may hang till doomsday before I relieve him!〃 Nay; it is credibly reported that they were so far from succouring their poor friend in this his dismal circumstance; that Ptschirnsooker and several of his companions went in and pulled him by the legs; and thumped him on the breast。  Then they began to rail at him for the very thing which they had advised and justified before; viz。; his getting into the old gentlewoman's family; and putting on her livery。  The keeper who performed the last office coming up; found Jack swinging; with no life in him。  He took down the body gently and laid it on a bulk; and brought out the rope to the company。 〃This; gentlemen; is the rope that hanged Jack; what must be done with it?〃  Upon which they ordered it to be laid among the curiosities of Gresham College; and it is called Jack's rope to this very day。  However; Jack; after all; had some small tokens of life in him; but lies; at this time; past hopes of a total recovery; with his head hanging on one shoulder; without speech or motion。 The coroner's inquest; supposing him to be dead; brought him in non compos。



CHAPTER XIV。  The Conference between Don Diego and John Bull。

During the time of the foregoing transactions; Don Diego was entertaining John Bull。

DON DIEGO。I hope; sir; this day's proceeding will convince you of the sincerity of your old friend Diego; and the treachery of Sir Roger。

JOHN BULL。What's the matter now?

DON DIEGO。You have been endeavouring; for several years; to have justice done upon that rogue Jack; but; what through the remissness of constables; justices; and packed juries; he has always found the means to escape。

JOHN BULL。What then?

DON DIEGO。Consider; then; who is your best friend:  he that would have brought him to condign punishment; or he that has saved him? By my persuasion Jack had hanged himself; if Sir Roger had not cut him down。

JOHN BULL。Who told you that Sir Roger has done so?

DON DIEGO。You seem to receive me coldly:  methinks my services deserve a better return。

JOHN BULL。Since you value yourself upon hanging this poor scoundrel; I tell you; when I have any more hanging work; I'll send for thee:  I have some better employment for Sir Roger。  In the meantime; I desire the poor fellow may be looked after。  When he first came out of the north country into my family; under the pretended name of Timothy Trim; the fellow seemed to mind his loom and his spinning…wheel; till somebody turned his head; then he grew so pragmatical; that he took upon him the government of my whole family:  I could never order anything; within or without doors; but he must be always giving his counsel; forsooth:  nevertheless; tell him I will forgive what is past; and if he would mind his business for the future; and not meddle out of his own sphere; he will find that John Bull is not of a cruel disposition。

DON DIEGO。Yet all your skilful physicians say that nothing can recover your mother but a piece of Jack's liver boiled in her soup。

JOHN BULL。Those are quacks。  My mother abhors such cannibals' food。  She is in perfect health at present。  I would have given many a good pound to have had her so well some time ago。*  There are indeed two or three troublesome old nurses that; because they believe I am tender…hearted; will never let me have a quiet night's rest with knocking me up:  〃Oh; sir; your mother is taken extremely ill; she is fallen into a fainting fit; she has a great emptiness; wants sustenance。〃  This is only to recommend themselves for their great care。  John Bull; as simple as he is; understands a little of a pulse。

* New clamours about the danger of the Church。



CHAPTER XV。  The sequel of the meeting at the 〃Salutation。〃*

* At the Congress of Utrecht。

Where I think I left John Bull; sitting between Nic。 Frog and Lewis Baboon; with his arms akimbo; in great concern to keep Lewis and Nic。 asunder。  As watchful as he was; Nic。 found the means now and then to steal a whisper; and by a cleanly conveyance under the table to slip a short note into Lewis's hand; which Lewis as slyly put into John's pocket; with a pinch or a jog to warn him what he was about。  John had the curiosity to retire into a corner to peruse those billets doux* of Nic。's; wherein he found that Nic。 had used great freedoms both with his interest and reputation。  One contained these words:  〃Dear Lewis; thou seest clearly that this blockhead can never bring his matters to bear。  Let thee and me talk to…night by ourselves at the 'Rose;' and I'll give thee satisfaction。〃 Another was thus expressed:  〃Friend Lewis; has thy sense quite forsaken thee to make Bull such offers?  Hold fast; part with nothing; and I will give thee a better bargain; I'll warrant thee!'

* Some offers of the Dutch at that time; in order to get the negotiation into their hands。

In some of his billets he told Lewis 〃That John Bull was under his guardianship; that the best part of his servants were at his command; that he could have John gagged and bound whenever he pleased by the people of his own family。〃  In all these epistles; blockhead; dunce; ass; coxcomb; were the best epithets he gave poor John。  In others he threatened;* 〃That he; Esquire South; and the rest of the tradesmen; would lay Lewis down upon his back and beat out his teeth if he did not retire immediately and break up the Meeting。〃

* Threatening that the allies would carry on the war without the help of the English。

I fancy I need not tell my reader that John often changed colour as he read; and that his fingers itched to give Nic。 a good slap on the chops; but he wisely moderated his choleric temper。  *〃I saved this fellow;〃 quoth he; 〃from the gallows when he ran away from his last master; because I thought he was harshly treated; but the rogue was no sooner safe under my protection than he began to lie; pilfer; and steal like the devil。  When I first set him up in a warm house he had hardly put up his sign when he began to debauch my best customers from me。  *Then it was his constant practice to rob my fish…ponds; not only to feed his family; but to trade with the fishmongers。  I connived at the fellow till he began to tell me that they were his as much as mine。  In my manor of *Eastcheap; because it lay at some distance from my constant inspection; he broke down my fences; robbed my orchards; and beat my servants。

* Complaints against the Dutch for encroachment in trade; fishery; East Indies; etc。  The war with the Dutch on these accounts。

〃When I used to reprimand him for his tricks he would talk saucily; lie; and brazen it out as if he had done nothing amiss。 'Will nothing cure thee of thy pranks; Nic。?' quoth I; 'I shall be forced some time or other to chastise thee。'  The rogue got up his cane and threatened me; and was well thwacked for his pains。  But I think his behaviour at this time worst of all; after I have almost drowned myself to keep his head above water; he would leave me sticking in the 
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