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As he was talking to himself; he observed Frog and old Lewis edging towards one another to whisper;* so that John was forced to sit with his arms akimbo; to keep them asunder。
* Some attempts of secret negotiation between the French and the Dutch。
Some people advised John to bleed Frog under the tongue; or take away his bread…and…butter; which would certainly make him speak; to give Esquire South hellebore; as for Lewis; some were for emollient poultices; others for opening his arm with an incision knife。
CHAPTER XI。* The apprehending; examination; and imprisonment of Jack for suspicion of poisoning。
* The four following chapters contain the history of passing the Bill against Occasional Conformity; and of the Whigs agreeing to it。
The attentive reader cannot have forgot that the story of Van Ptschirnsooker's powder was interrupted by a message from Frog。 I have a natural compassion for curiosity; being much troubled with the distemper myself; therefore to gratify that uneasy itching sensation in my reader; I have procured the following account of that matter。
Van Ptschirnsooker came off (as rogues usually do upon such occasions) by peaching his partner; and being extremely forward to bring him to the gallows; Jack* was accused as the contriver of all the roguery。 And; indeed; it happened unfortunately for the poor fellow; that he was known to bear a most inveterate spite against the old gentlewoman; and; consequently; that never any ill accident happened to her but he was suspected to be at the bottom of it。 If she pricked her finger; Jack; to be sure; laid the pin in the way; if some noise in the street disturbed her rest; who could it be but Jack in some of his nocturnal rambles? If a servant ran away; Jack had debauched him。 Every idle tittle…tattle that went about; Jack was always suspected for the author of it。 However; all was nothing to this last affair of the temperating; moderating powder。
* All the misfortunes of the Church charged upon the Puritan party。
The hue and cry went after Jack to apprehend him dead or alive; wherever he could be found。 The constables looked out for him in all his usual haunts; but to no purpose。 Where d'ye think they found him at last? Even smoking his pipe; very quietly; at his brother Martin's; from whence he was carried with a vast mob at his heels; before the worshipful Mr。 Justice Overdo。 Several of his neighbours made oath;* that of late; the prisoner had been observed to lead a very dissolute life; renouncing even his usual hypocrisy and pretences to sobriety; that he frequented taverns and eating…houses; and had been often guilty of drunkenness and gluttony at my Lord Mayor's table; that he had been seen in the company of lewd women; that he had transferred his usual care of the engrossed copy of his father's will to bank bills; orders for tallies; and debentures:** these he now affirmed; with more literal truth; to be meat; drink; and cloth; the philosopher's stone; and the universal medicine;*** that he was so far from showing his customary reverence to the will; that he kept company with those that called his father a cheating rogue; and his will a forgery; that he not only sat quietly and heard his father railed at; but often chimed in with the discourse; and hugged the authors as his bosom friends;**** that instead of asking for blows at the corners of the streets; he now bestowed them as plentifully as he begged them before。*** In short; that he was grown a mere rake; and had nothing left in him of old Jack except his spite to John Bull's mother。
* The manners of the Dissenters changed from their former strictness。 ** Dealing much in stock…jobbing。 *** 〃Tale of a Tub。〃 **** Herding with deists and atheists。
Another witness made oath; that Jack had been overheard bragging of a trick* he had found out to manage the 〃old formal jade;〃 as he used to call her。 〃Hang this numb…skull of mine;〃 quoth he; 〃that I could not light on it sooner。 As long as I go in this ragged tattered coat; I am so well known; that I am hunted away from the old woman's door by every barking cur about the house; they bid me defiance。 There's no doing mischief as an open enemy; I must find some way or other of getting within doors; and then I shall have better opportunities of playing my pranks; besides the benefit of good keeping。〃
* Getting into places and Church preferments by occasional conformity。
Two witnesses swore* that several years ago; there came to their mistress's door a young fellow in a tattered coat; that went by the name of Timothy Trim; whom they did in their conscience believe to be the very prisoner; resembling him in shape; stature; and the features of his countenance。 That the said Timothy Trim being taken into the family; clapped their mistress's livery over his own tattered coat; that the said Timothy was extremely officious about their mistress's person; endeavouring by flattery and tale…bearing to set her against the rest of the servants: nobody was so ready to fetch anything that was wanted; to reach what was dropped。 That he used to shove and elbow his fellow…servants to get near his mistress; especially when money was a paying or receivingthen he was never out of the way; that he was extremely diligent about everybody's business but his own。 That the said Timothy; while he was in the family; used to be playing roguish tricks; when his mistress's back was turned; he would loll out his tongue; make mouths; and laugh at her; walking behind her like Harlequin; ridiculing her motions and gestures; but if his mistress looked about; he put on a grave; demure countenance; as if he had been in a fit of devotion; that he used often to trip up…stairs so smoothly that you could not hear him tread; and put all things out of order; that he would pinch the children and servants; when he met them in the dark; so hard; that he left the print of his forefingers and his thumb in black and blue; and then slink into a corner; as if nobody had done it。 Out of the same malicious design he used to lay chairs and joint…stools in their way; that they might break their noses by falling over them。 The more young and inexperienced he used to teach to talk saucily; and call names。 During his stay in the family there was much plate missing; being caught with a couple of silver spoons in his pocket; with their handles wrenched off; he said he was only going to carry them to the goldsmiths to be mended: that the said Timothy was hated by all the honest servants; for his ill…conditioned; splenetic tricks; but especially for his slanderous tongue; traducing them to their mistress as drunkards and thieves: that the said Timothy; by lying stories; used to set all the family together by the ears; taking delight to make them fight and quarrel; **particularly one day sitting at table; he spoke words to this effect: 〃I am of opinion;〃 quoth he; 〃that little short fellows; such as we are; have better hearts; and could beat the tall fellows; I wish it came to a fair trial; I believe these long fellows; as sightly as they are; should find their jackets well thwacked。〃
* Betraying the interests of the Church when got into preferments。 ** The original of the