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rom the haughtiest of her neighbours。 When she came in to any full assembly； she would not yield the pas to the best of them。 If one asked her； 〃Are not you related to John Bull？〃 〃Yes；〃 says she； 〃he has the honour to be my brother。〃 So Peg's affairs went till all the relations cried out shame upon John for his barbarous usage of his own flesh and blood； that it was an easy matter for him to put her in a creditable way of living； not only without hurt； but with advantage to himself； seeing she was an industrious person； and might be serviceable to him in his way of business。 〃Hang her； jade；〃 quoth John； 〃I can't endure her as long as she keeps that rascal Jack's company。〃 They told him the way to reclaim her was to take her into his house； that by conversation the childish humours of their younger days might be worn out。 These arguments were enforced by a certain incident。 It happened that John was at that time about making his will* and entailing his estate； the very same in which Nic。 Frog is named executor。 Now； his sister Peg's name being in the entail； he could not make a thorough settlement without her consent。 There was； indeed； a malicious story went about as if John's last wife had fallen in love with Jack as he was eating custard on horseback；** that she persuaded John to take his sister into the house the better to drive on the intrigue with Jack； concluding he would follow his mistress Peg。 All I can infer from this story is that when one has got a bad character in the world people will report and believe anything of them； true or false。 But to return to my story。 When Peg received John's message she huffed and stormed： 〃My brother John；〃 quoth she； 〃is grown wondrous kind…hearted all of a sudden； but I meikle doubt whether it be not mair for their own conveniency than for my good； he draws up his writs and his deeds； forsooth； and I must set my hand to them； unsight； unseen。 I like the young man he has settled upon well enough； but I think I ought to have a valuable consideration for my consent。 He wants my poor little farm because it makes a nook in his park…wall。 Ye may e'en tell him he has mair than he makes good use of； he gangs up and down drinking； roaring； and quarrelling； through all the country markets； making foolish bargains in his cups； which he repents when he is sober； like a thriftless wretch； spending the goods and gear that his forefathers won with the sweat of their brows： light come； light go； he cares not a farthing。 But why should I stand surety for his contracts？ The little I have is free； and I can call it my awn hame's hame； let it be never so hamely。 I ken him well enough； he could never abide me； and when he has his ends he'll e'en use me as he did before。 I'm sure I shall be treated like a poor drudgeI shall be set to tend the bairns； darn the hose； and mend the linen。 Then there's no living with that old carline his mother； she rails at Jack； and Jack's an honester man than any of her kin： I shall be plagued with her spells and her Paternosters； and silly old world ceremonies； I mun never pare my nails on a Friday； nor begin a journey on Childermas Day； and I mun stand beeking and binging as I gang out and into the hall。 Tell him he may e'en gang his get； I'll have nothing to do with him； I'll stay like the poor country mouse； in my awn habitation。〃 So Peg talked； but for all that； by the interposition of good friends； and by many a bonny thing that was sent； and many more that were promised Peg； the matter was concluded； and Peg taken into the house upon certain articles：*** one of which was that she might have the freedom of Jack's conversation； and might take him for better and for worse if she pleased： provided always he did not come into the house at unseasonable hours and disturb the rest of the old woman； John's mother。
* The Act of Succession。 ** A Presbyterian Lord Mayor。 *** The Act of Toleration。
CHAPTER V。 Of some Quarrels that happened after Peg was taken into the Family。*
*Quarrels about some of the Articles of Union； particularly the peerage。
It is an old observation that the quarrels of relations are harder to reconcile than any other； injuries from friends fret and gall more； and the memory of them is not so easily obliterated。 This is cunningly represented by one of your old sages called Aesop； in the story of the bird that was grieved extremely at being wounded with an arrow feathered with his own wing； as also of the oak that let many a heavy groan when he was cleft with a wedge of his own timber。
There was no man in the world less subject to rancour than John Bull； considering how often his good nature has been abused； yet I don't know but he was too apt to hearken to tattling people that carry tales between him and his sister Peg； on purpose to sow jealousies and set them together by the ears。 They say that there were some hardships put upon Peg which had been better let alone； but it was the business of good people to restrain the injuries on one side and moderate the resentments on the othera good friend acts both parts； the one without the other will not do。
The purchase…money of Peg's farm was ill paid；* then Peg loved a little good liquor； and the servants shut up the wine…cellar； but for that Peg found a trick； for she made a false key。** Peg's servants complained that they were debarred from all manner of business； and never suffered to touch the least thing within the house； if they offered to come into the warehouse； then straight went the yard slap over their noddle； if they ventured into the counting…room a fellow would throw an ink…bottle at their head； if they came into the best apartment to set anything there in order； they were saluted with a broom； if they meddled with anything in the kitchen it was odds but the cook laid them over the pate with a ladle； one that would have got into the stables was met by two rascals； who fell to work with him with a brush and a curry…comb； some climbing up into the coachbox； were told that one of their companions had been there before that could not drive； then slap went the long whip about their ears。
* The equivalent not paid。 ** Run wine。
On the other hand； it was complained that Peg's servants were always asking for drink…money； that they had more than their share of the Christmas…box。* To say the truth； Peg's lads bustled pretty hard for that； for when they were endeavouring to lock it up they got in their great fists and pulled out handfuls of halfcrowns； shillings； and sixpences。 Others in the scramble picked up guineas and broad…pieces。 But there happened a worse thing than all this： it was complained that Peg's servants had great stomachs； and brought so many of their friends and acquaintance to the table that John's family was like to be eaten out of house and home。 Instead of regulating this matter as it ought to be； Peg's young men were thrust away from the table； then there was the devil and all to do spoons； plates； and dishes flew about the room like mad； and Sir Roger； who was now Majordomo； had enough to do to quiet them。 Peg said this was contrary to agreement； whereby she was in all things to be treated like a child of the family。 The