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breakable； looking for all the world like just my breath could snap them。
No； no； no。 I could not do this。 She was too breakable； too good； too precious to
deserve this fate。 I couldn't allow my life to collide with hers； to destroy it。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
99
But I couldn't stay away from her either。 Alice was right about that。
The monster inside me hissed with frustration as I wavered； leaning first one way；
then the other。
My brief hour with her passed all too quickly； as I vacillated between the rock and
the hard place。 The bell rang； and she started collecting her things without looking at me。
This disappointed me； but I could hardly expect otherwise。 The way I had treated her
since the accident was inexcusable。
〃Bella？〃 I said； unable to stop myself。 My willpower already lay in shreds。
She hesitated before looking at me； when she turned； her expression was guarded；
distrustful。
I reminded myself that she had every right to distrust me。 That she should。
She waited for me to continue； but I just stared at her； reading her face。 I pulled
in shallow mouthfuls of air at regular intervals； fighting my thirst。
〃What？〃 she finally said。 〃Are you speaking to me again？〃 There was an edge of
resentment to her tone that was； like her anger； endearing。 It made me want to smile。
I wasn't sure how to answer her question。 Was I speaking to her again； in the
sense that she meant？
No。 Not if I could help it。 I would try to help it。
〃No； not really；〃 I told her。
She closed her eyes； which frustrated me。 It cut off my best avenue of access to
her feelings。 She took a long； slow breath without opening her eyes。 Her jaw was
locked。
Eyes still closed； she spoke。 Surely this was not a normal human way to
converse。 Why did she do it？
〃Then what do you want； Edward？〃
The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body。 If I'd had a
heartbeat； it would have quickened。
But how to answer her？
With the truth； I decided。 I would be as truthful as I could with her from now on。
I didn't want to deserve her distrust； even if earning her trust was impossible。
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100
〃I'm sorry；〃 I told her。 That was truer than she would ever know。 Unfortunately；
I could only safely apologize for the trivial。 〃I'm being very rude； I know。 But it's better
this way； really。〃
I would be better for her if I could keep it up； continue to be rude。 Could I？
Her eyes opened； their expression still wary。
〃I don't know what you mean。〃
I tried to get as much of a warning through to her as was allowed。 〃It's better if
we're not friends。〃 Surely； she could sense that much。 She was a bright girl。 〃Trust
me。〃
Her eyes tightened； and I remembered that I had said those words to her before—
just before breaking a promise。 I winced when her teeth clenched together—she clearly
remembered； too。
〃It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier；〃 she said angrily。 〃You could have
saved yourself all this regret。〃
I stared at her in shock。 What did she know of my regrets？
〃Regret？ Regret for what？〃 I demanded。
〃For not just letting that stupid van squish me！〃 she snapped。
I froze； stunned。
How could she be thinking that？ Saving her life was the one acceptable thing I'd
done since I met her。 The one thing that I was not ashamed of。 The one and only thing
that made me glad I existed at all。 I'd been fighting to keep her alive since the first
moment I'd caught her scent。 How could she think this of me？ How dare she question
my one good deed in all this mess？
〃You think I regret saving your life？〃
〃I know you do；〃 she retorted。
Her estimation of my intentions left me seething。 〃You don't know anything。〃
How confusing and incomprehensible the workings of her mind were！ She must
not think in the same way as other humans at all。 That must be the explanation behind
her mental silence。 She was entirely other。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
101
She jerked her face away； gritting her teeth again。 Her cheeks were flushed； with
anger this time。 She slammed her books together in a pile； yanked them up into her arms；
and marched toward the door without meeting my stare。
Even irritated as I was； it was impossible not to find her anger a bit entertaining。
She walked stiffly； without looking where she was going； and her foot caught on
the lip of the doorway。 She stumbled； and her things all crashed to the ground。 Instead
of bending to get them； she stood rigidly straight； not even looking down； as if she were
not sure the books were worth retrieving。
I managed not to laugh。
No one was here to watch me； I flitted to her side； and had her books put in order
before she looked down。
She bent halfway； saw me； and then froze。 I handed her books back to her；
making sure that my icy skin never touched hers。
〃Thank you；〃 she said in a cold； severe voice。
Her tone brought back my irritation。
〃You're welcome；〃 I said just as coldly。
She wrenched herself upright and stomped away to her next class。
I watched until I could no longer see her angry figure。
Spanish passed in a blur。 Mrs。 Goff never questioned my abstraction—she knew
my Spanish was superior to hers； and she gave me a great deal of latitude—leaving me
free to think。
So； I couldn't ignore the girl。 That much was obvious。 But did it mean I had no
choice but to destroy her？ That could not be the only available future。 There had to be
some other choice； some delicate balance。 I tried to think of a way？
I didn't pay much attention to Emmett until the hour was nearly up。 He was
curious—Emmett was not overly intuitive about the shades in other's moods； but he
could see the obvious change in me。 He wondered what had happened to remove the
unrelenting glower from my face。 He struggled to define the change； and finally decided
that I looked hopeful。
Hopeful？ Is that what it looked like from the outside？
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
102
I pondered the idea of hope as we walked to the Volvo； wondering what exactly I
should be hoping for。
But I didn't have long to ponder。 Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about the
girl； the sound of Bella's name in the heads of？of my rivals； I suppose I had to admit；
caught my attention。 Eric and Tyler； having heard—with much satisfaction—of Mike's
failure； were preparing to make their moves。
Eric was already in place； positioned against her truck where she could not avoid
him。 Tyler's class was being held late to receive an assignment； and he was in a
desperate hurry to catch her before she escaped。
This I had to see。
〃Wait for the others here； all right？〃 I murmured to Emmett。
He eyed me suspiciously； but then shrugged and nodded。
Kid's lost his mind； he thought； amused by my odd request。
I saw Bella on her way out of the gym； and I waited where she would not see me
for her to pass。 As she got closer to Eric's ambush； I strode forward； setting my pace so
that I would walk by at the right moment。
I watched her body stiffen when she caught sight of the boy waiting for her。 She
froze for a moment； then relax