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much。 He tasted his wine： it was a villanous compound of sugar； vitriol；
soda…water； and green gooseberries。 At this moment a great clatter of
forks was made by the president's and vice…president's party。 Silence for
a toast'twas silence all。
〃Landlord；〃 said Mr。 Perkins； starting up （the rogue； where did his
impudence come from？） 〃have you any champagne of YOUR OWN？〃
〃Silence！ down！〃 roared the Tories； the ladies looking aghast。 〃Silence；
sit down you！〃 shrieked the well…known voice of the General。
〃I beg your pardon； General；〃 said young John Perkins； 〃but where
COULD you have bought this champagne？ My worthy friend I know is
going to propose the ladies； let us at any rate drink such a toast in good
wine。〃 （〃Hear； hear！〃） 〃Drink her Ladyship's health in THIS stuff？ I
declare to goodness I would sooner drink it in beer！〃
No pen can describe the uproar which arose： the anguish of the
Gorgonitesthe shrieks； jeers； cheers； ironic cries of 〃Swipes！〃 etc。； which
proceeded from the less genteel but more enthusiastic Scullyites。
〃This vulgarity is too much；〃 said Lady Gorgon； rising； and Mrs。
Mayoress and the ladies of the party did so too。
The General； two squires； the clergyman； the Gorgon apothecary and
attorney； with their respective ladies； followed her： they were plainly
beaten from the field。 Such of the Tories as dared remained； and in
inglorious compromise shared the jovial Whig feast。
〃Gentlemen and ladies；〃 hiccupped Mr。 Heeltap； 〃I'll give you a toast。
'Champagne to our realhicfriends；' no； 'Real champagne to our friends；'
andhicpooh！ 'Champagne to our friends； and real pain to our enemies；'…
…huzzay！〃
The Scully faction on this day bore the victory away； and if the polite
reader has been shocked by certain vulgarities on the part of Mr。 Scully
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and his friends； he must remember imprimis that Oldborough was an
inconsiderable placethat the inhabitants thereof were chiefly
tradespeople； not of refined habitsthat Mr。 Scully himself had only for
three months mingled among the aristocracy… …that his young friend
Perkins was violently angryand finally； and to conclude； that the proud
vulgarity of the great Sir George Gorgon and his family was infinitely
more odious and contemptible than the mean vulgarity of the Scullyites
and their leader。
Immediately after this event； Mr。 Scully and his young friend Perkins
returned to town； the latter to his garrets in Bedford Row the former to
his apartments on the first floor of the same house。 He lived here to
superintend his legal business： his London agents； Messrs。 Higgs； Biggs；
and Blatherwick； occupying the ground floor； the junior partner； Mr。
Gustavus Blatherwick； the second flat of the house。 Scully made no
secret of his profession or residence： he was an attorney； and proud of it；
he was the grandson of a labourer； and thanked God for it； he had made
his fortune by his own honest labour； and why should he be ashamed of it？
And now； having explained at full length who the several heroes and
heroines of this history were； and how they conducted themselves in the
country； let us describe their behaviour in London； and the great events
which occurred there。
You must know that Mr。 Perkins bore away the tenderest recollections
of the young lady with whom he had danced at the Oldborough ball； and；
having taken particular care to find out where she dwelt when in the
metropolis； managed soon to become acquainted with Aunt Biggs； and
made himself so amiable to that lady； that she begged he would pass all his
disengaged evenings at her lodgings in Caroline Place。 Mrs。 Biggs was
perfectly aware that the young gentleman did not come for her bohea and
muffins； so much as for the sweeter conversation of her niece； Miss
Gorgon； but seeing that these two young people were of an age when ideas
of love and marriage will spring up； do what you will； seeing that her
niece had a fortune； and Mr。 Perkins had the prospect of a place； and was
moreover a very amiable and well…disposed young fellow； she thought her
niece could not do better than marry him； and Miss Gorgon thought so too。
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THE BEDFORD…ROW CONSPIRACY
Now the public will be able to understand the meaning of that important
conversation which is recorded at the very commencement of this history。
Lady Gorgon and her family were likewise in town； but； when in the
metropolis； they never took notice of their relative； Miss Lucy： the idea of
acknowledging an ex…schoolmistress living in Mecklenburgh Square being
much too preposterous for a person of my Lady Gorgon's breeding and
fashion。 She did not； therefore； know of the progress which sly Perkins
was making all this while； for Lucy Gorgon did not think it was at all
necessary to inform her Ladyship how deeply she was smitten by the
wicked young gentleman who had made all the disturbance at the
Oldborough ball。
The intimacy of these young persons had； in fact； become so close；
that on a certain sunshiny Sunday in December； after having accompanied
Aunt Biggs to church； they had pursued their walk as far as that
rendezvous of lovers； the Regent's Park； and were talking of their coming
marriage； with much confidential tenderness； before the bears in the
Zoological Gardens。
Miss Lucy was ever and anon feeding those interesting animals with
buns； to perform which act of charity she had clambered up on the parapet
which surrounds their den。 Mr。 Perkins was below； and Miss Lucy；
having distributed her buns； was on the point of following；but whether
from timidity； or whether from a desire to do young Perkins an essential
service； I know not： however； she found herself quite unwilling to jump
down unaided。
〃My dearest John；〃 said she； 〃I never can jump that。〃
Whereupon John stepped up； put one hand round Lucy's waist； and as
one of hers gently fell upon