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Under his uncle's roof at Oldborough； where he lived with thirteen red…
haired male and female cousins； he was only charged fifty pounds for
board； clothes； and pocket…money； and the remainder of his rents was
carefully put by for him until his majority。 When he approached that
periodwhen he came to belong to two spouting…clubs at Oldborough；
among the young merchants and lawyers'…clerksto blow the flute nicely；
and play a good game at billiardsto have written one or two smart things
in the Oldborough Sentinelto be fond of smoking （in which act he was
discovered by his fainting aunt at three o'clock one morning）in one word；
when John Perkins arrived at manhood； he discovered that he was quite
unfit to be an attorney； that he detested all the ways of his uncle's stern；
dull； vulgar； regular； red…headed family； and he vowed that he would go to
London and make his fortune。 Thither he went； his aunt and cousins；
who were all 〃serious；〃 vowing that he was a lost boy； and when his
history opens； John had been two years in the metropolis； inhabiting his
own garrets； and a very nice compact set of apartments； looking into the
back…garden； at this moment falling vacant； the prudent Lucy Gorgon had
visited them； and vowed that she and her John should there commence
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housekeeping。
All these explanations are tedious； but necessary； and furthermore； it
must be said； that as John's uncle's partner was the Liberal member for
Oldborough； so Lucy's uncle was its Ministerial representative。
This gentleman； the brother of the deceased Captain Gorgon； lived at
the paternal mansion of Gorgon Castle； and rejoiced in the name and title
of Sir George Grimsby Gorgon。
He； too； like his younger brother； had married a lady beneath his own
rank in life； having espoused the daughter and heiress of Mr。 Hicks； the
great brewer at Oldborough； who held numerous mortgages on the Gorgon
property； all of which he yielded up； together with his daughter Juliana； to
the care of the baronet。
What Lady Gorgon was in character； this history will show。 In
person； if she may be compared to any vulgar animal； one of her father's
heavy； healthy； broad…flanked； Roman…nosed white dray…horses might； to
the poetic mind； appear to resemble her。 At twenty she was a splendid
creature； and though not at her full growth； yet remarkable for strength and
sinew； at forty…five she was as fine a woman as any in His Majesty's
dominions。 Five feet seven in height； thirteen stone； her own teeth and
hair； she looked as if she were the mother of a regiment of Grenadier
Guards。 She had three daughters of her own size； and at length； ten years
after the birth of the last of the young ladies； a sonone sonGeorge
Augustus Frederick Grimsby Gorgon； the godson of a royal duke； whose
steady officer in waiting Sir George had been for many years。
It is needless to say； after entering so largely into a description of Lady
Gorgon； that her husband was a little shrivelled wizen…faced creature；
eight inches shorter than her Ladyship。 This is the way of the world； as
every single reader of this book must have remarked； for frolic love
delights to join giants and pigmies of different sexes in the bonds of
matrimony。 When you saw her Ladyship in flame…coloured satin and
gorgeous toque and feathers； entering the drawing…room； as footmen along
the stairs shouted melodiously； 〃Sir George and Lady Gorgon；〃 you beheld
in her company a small withered old gentleman； with powder and large
royal household buttons； who tripped at her elbow as a little weak…legged
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colt does at the side of a stout mare。
The little General had been present at about a hundred and twenty
pitched battles on Hounslow Heath and Wormwood Scrubs； but had never
drawn his sword against an enemy。 As might be expected； therefore； his
talk and tenue were outrageously military。 He had the whole Army List
by heartthat is； as far as the field…officers： all below them he scorned。
A bugle at Gorgon Castle always sounded at breakfast； and dinner： a gun
announced sunset。 He clung to his pigtail for many years after the army
had forsaken that ornament； and could never be brought to think much of
the Peninsular men for giving it up。 When he spoke of the Duke； he used
to call him 〃MY LORD WELLINGTONI RECOLLECT HIM AS
CAPTAIN WELLESLEY。〃 He swore fearfully in conversation； was
most regular at church； and regularly read to his family and domestics the
morning and evening prayer； he bullied his daughters； seemed to bully his
wife； who led him whither she chose； gave grand entertainments； and
never asked a friend by chance； had splendid liveries； and starved his
people； and was as dull； stingy； pompous； insolent； cringing； ill…tempered a
little creature as ever was known。
With such qualities you may fancy that he was generally admired in
society and by his country。 So he was： and I never knew a man so
endowed whose way through life was not safewho had fewer pangs of
consciencemore positive enjoymentsmore respect shown to himmore
favours granted to him； than such a one as my friend the General。
Her Ladyship was just suited to him； and they did in reality admire
each other hugely。 Previously to her marriage with the baronet； many
love…passages had passed between her and William Pitt Scully； Esquire；
the attorney； and there was especially one story； a propos of certain
syllabubs and Sally…Lunn cakes； which seemed to show that matters had
gone very far。 Be this as it may； no sooner did the General （Major
Gorgon he was then） cast an eye on her； than Scully's five years' fabric of
love was instantly dashed to the ground。 She cut him pitilessly； cut Sally
Scully； his sister； her dearest friend and confidante； and bestowed her big
person upon the little aide…de…camp at the end of a fortnight's wooing。 In
th