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House on the present occasionhum； on the present occasionI would
have endeavoured to prepare myself in a way that should have at least
shown my sense of the greatness of the subject before the House's
consideration； and the nature of the distinguished audience I have the
honour to address。 I am； sir； a plain manborn of the peoplemyself one
of the people； having won； thank Heaven； an honourable fortune and
position by my own honest labour； and standing here as I do〃
* * *
Here Mr。 Scully （it may be said that he never made a speech without
bragging about himself： and an excellent plan it is； for people cannot
help believing you at last）here； I say； Mr。 Scully； who had one arm raised；
felt himself suddenly tipped on the shoulder； and heard a voice saying；
〃Your money or your life！〃
The honourable gentleman twirled round as if he had been shot； the
papers on which a great part of this impromptu was written dropped from
his lifted hand； and some of them were actually borne on the air into
neighbouring gardens。 The man was； in fact； in the direst fright。
〃It's only I；〃 said Perkins； with rather a forced laugh； when he saw the
effect that his wit had produced。
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〃Only you！ And pray what the devwhat right have you toto come
upon a man of my rank in that way； and disturb me in the midst of very
important meditations？〃 asked Mr。 Scully； beginning to grow fierce。
〃I want your advice；〃 said Perkins； 〃on a matter of the very greatest
importance to me。 You know my idea of marrying？〃
〃Marry！〃 said Scully； 〃I thought you had given up that silly scheme。
And how； pray； do you intend to live？〃
〃Why； my intended has a couple of hundreds a year； and my clerkship
in the Tape and Sealing…Wax Office will be as much more。〃
〃ClerkshipTape and Sealing…Wax OfficeGovernment sinecure！
Why； good heavens！ John Perkins； you don't tell ME that you are going to
accept any such thing？〃
〃It is a very small salary； certainly；〃 said John； who had a decent
notion of his own merits； 〃but consider； six months vacation； two hours in
the day； and those spent over the newspapers。 After all； it's〃
〃After all it's a swindle；〃 roared out Mr。 Scully〃a swindle upon the
country； an infamous tax upon the people； who starve that you may fatten
in idleness。 But take this clerkship in the Tape and Sealing…Wax Office；〃
continued the patriot； his bosom heaving with noble indignation； and his
eye flashing the purest fire；〃TAKE this clerkship； John Perkins； and
sanction tyranny； by becoming one of its agents； sanction dishonesty by
sharing in its plunderdo this； BUT never more be friend of mine。 Had I
a child；〃 said the patriot； clasping his hands and raising his eyes to heaven；
〃I would rather see him dead； sirdead； dead at my feet； than the servant
of a Government which all honest men despise。〃 And here； giving a
searching glance at Perkins； Mr。 Scully began tramping up and down the
garden in a perfect fury。
〃Good heavens！〃 exclaimed the timid John Perkins〃don't say SO。
My dear Mr。 Scully； I'm not the dishonest character you suppose me to be…
…I never looked at the matter in this light。 I'llI'll consider of it。 I'll tell
Crampton that I will give up the place； but for Heaven's sake； don't let me
forfeit YOUR friendship； which is dearer to me than any place in the
world。〃
Mr。 Scully pressed his hand； and said nothing； and though their
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interview lasted a full half…hour longer； during which they paced up and
down the gravel walk； we shall not breathe a single syllable of their
conversation； as it has nothing to do with our tale。
The next morning； after an interview with Miss Lucy； John Perkins；
Esquire； was seen to issue from Mrs。 Biggs's house； looking particularly
pale； melancholy； and thoughtful； and he did not stop until he reached a
certain door in Downing Street； where was the office of a certain great
Minister； and the offices of the clerks in his Lordship's department。
The head of them was Mr。 Josiah Crampton； who has now to be
introduced to the public。 He was a little old gentleman； some sixty years
of age； maternal uncle to John Perkins； a bachelor； who had been about
forty…two years employed in the department of which he was now the
head。
After waiting four hours in an ante…room； where a number of Irishmen；
some newspaper editors； many pompous…looking political personages
asking for the 〃first lord；〃 a few sauntering clerks； and numbers of swift
active messengers passed to and fro；after waiting for four hours； making
drawings on the blotting…book； and reading the Morning Post for that day
week； Mr。 Perkins was informed that he might go into his uncle's room；
and did so accordingly。
He found a little hard old gentleman seated at a table covered with
every variety of sealing…wax； blotting…paper； envelopes； despatch…boxes；
green tapers； etc。 etc。 An immense fire was blazing in the grate； an
immense sheet…almanack hung over that； a screen； three or four chairs； and
a faded Turkey carpet； formed the rest of the furniture of this remarkable
roomwhich I have described thus particularly； because in the course of a
long official life； I have remarked that such is the invariable decoration of
political rooms。
〃Well； John；〃 said the little hard old gentleman； pointing to an arm…
chair； 〃I'm told you've been here since eleven。 Why the deuce do you
come so early？〃
〃I had important business；〃 answered Mr。 Perkins； stoutly； and as his
uncle looked up with a comical expression of wonder； John began in a
solemn tone to deliver a little speech which he had composed； and which
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proved him to be a very worthy； easy； silly fellow。
〃Sir；〃 said Mr。 Perkins； 〃you hav