按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
Tom shrugged his shoulders; and made no further remark。
〃Then how do you mean to live? How else can you support yourself?〃 asked Aunt Jean。
〃I don't know;〃 said Erica。 〃I must get some other work somewhere。〃
But her heart failed her; though she spoke firmly。 She knew that to find work in London was no easy matter。
〃Offer yourself to the 'Church Chronicle;'〃 said Mrs。 Craigie sarcastically; 〃or; better still; to the 'Watch Dog。' They always make a good deal of capital out of a convert。〃
Erica colored and had to bite her lip hard to keep back the quick retort which occurred to her all too naturally。
By and by Mr。 Masterman and another well…known secularist walked in。 They both knew of Erica's defection。 Mr。 Masterman attacked her at once in a sort of bantering way。
〃So Miss Raeburn; now I understand why some time ago you walked out in the middle of my lecture one evening。〃
And then followed a most irritating semi…serious remonstrance; in questionable taste。 Erica writhed under it。 A flippant canvassing of her most private and sacred thoughts was hard to bear; but she held her ground; and; being not without a touch of her father's dignity; Mr。 Masterman presently beat a retreat; not feeling quite so well satisfied with himself as usual。 His companion did not allude directly to her change of views; but treated her with a sort of pitying condescension; as if she had been a mild lunatic。
There was some sort of committee being held in the study that evening。 The next person to arrive was Professor Gosse and almost immediately after came Mr。 Harmston; a charming old man; whom Erica had known from her childhood。 They came in and had some coffee before going into the study。 Mrs。 Craigie talked to Mr。 Harmston。 Erica; looking her loveliest waited on them。 Tom watched them all philosophically from the hearth rug。
〃I am sorry to hear you have deserted your colors;〃 said the professor; looking more grave than she had ever seen him look before。 Then; his voice softening a little as he looked at her; 〃I expect it all comes of that illness of yours。 I believe religion is just an outgrowth of bad health mens sana in corpore sano; you know。 Never mind; you must still come to my workshop; and I shall see if science won't reconvert you。〃
He moved away with his good…humored; shaggy…looking face; leaving Erica to old Mr。 Harmston。
〃I am much grieved to hear this of you; Erica;〃 he said; lowering his voice; and bringing his gray head near to hers 〃as grieved as if you were my own child。 You will be a sore loss to us all。〃
Erica felt this keenly; for she was very fond of the old man。
〃Do you think it does not hurt me to grieve you all?〃 she said; piteously。 〃But one must be honest。〃
〃Quite right; my dear;〃 said the old man; 〃but that does not make our loss the less heavy。 We had hoped great things of you; Erica。 It is grievous to me that you should have fallen back to the miserable superstitions against which your father has fought so bravely。〃
〃Come; Mr。 Harmston;〃 said the professor; 〃we are late; I fancy。〃
And before Erica could make any reply Mrs。 Craigie and the two visitors had adjourned to the committee room; leaving her alone with Tom。
Now; for two or three days Erica had been enduring Tom's coldness and Mrs。 Craigie's unceasing remonstrances; all the afternoon she had been having a long and painful discussion with her friend; Mrs。 MacNaughton; this evening she had seen plainly enough what her position would be for the future among all her old acquaintances; and an aching sense of isolation filled her heart。 She was just going to run upstairs and yield to her longing for darkness and quiet; when Tom called her back。 She could not refuse to hear; for the coldness of her old playmate had made her very sad; but she turned back rather reluctantly; for her eyes were brimming with tears。
〃Don't go;〃 said Tom; quite in his natural voice。 〃Have you any coffee for me; or did the old fogies finish it?〃
Erica went back to the table and poured him out a cup of coffee; but her hand trembled; and; before she could prevent it; down splashed a great tear into the saucer。
〃Come!〃 said Tom; cheerfully。 〃Don't go and spoil my coffee with salt water! All very well for David; in a penitential psalm; to drink tears; but in the nineteenth century; you know〃
Erica began to laugh at this; a fatal proceeding; for afterward came a great sob; and the tears came down in good earnest。 Philosophical Tom always professed great contempt for tears; and he knew that Erica must be very much moved indeed to cry in his presence; or; indeed; to cry at all; for; as he expressed it: 〃It was not in her line。〃 But somehow; when for the first time he saw her cry; he did not feel contemptuous; instead; he began to call himself a 〃hard…hearted brute;〃 and a narrow…minded fool; and to feel miserable and out of conceit with himself。
〃I say; Erica; don't cry;〃 he pleaded。 〃Don't; I say; I can't bear to see you。 I've been a cold…blooded wretch I'm awfully sorry!〃
〃It's very cowardly of me;〃 sobbed Erica。 〃Butbut〃with a rush of tears; 〃you don't know how I love you all it's like being killed by inches。〃
〃You're not cowardly;〃 said Tom; warmly。 〃You've been brave and plucky; I only wish it were in a better cause。 Look here; Erica; only stop crying; and promise me that you'll not take this so dreadfully to heart。 I'll stand by you I will; indeed; even though I hate your cause。 But it sha'n't come between us any longer; the hateful delusion has spoiled enough lives already。 It sha'n't spoil ours。〃
〃Oh; don't!〃 cried Erica; wounded anew by this。
〃Well;〃 said Tom; gulping down his longing to inveigh against Christianity; 〃it goes hard with me not to say a word against the religion that has brought us all our misery; but for your sake I'll try not when talking with you。 Now let us begin again on the old footing。〃
〃Not quite on the old footing either;〃 said Erica; who had conquered her tears。 〃I love you a thousand times more; you dear old Tom。〃
And Tom; who was made of sterling stuff; did from that day forward stand by her through everything; and checked himself when harsh words about religious matters rose to his lips; and tried his best to smooth what could not fail to be a rough bit of walking。
The first meeting between Charles Osmond and Erica; after her return from Codrington; did not come about till the morning after her conversation with Tom。 They had each called on the other; but had somehow managed to miss。 When at length Erica was shown into the study; connected in her mind with so many warm discussions; she found it empty。 She sat down in the great arm chair by the window; wondering if she were indeed the same Erica who had sat there years before; on the day when her 〃prophet〃 had foretold her illness。 What changes had come about since then!
But her 〃Prophet〃 was unchanged; his brisk; 〃Well Erica!〃 was exactly what it had been when she had come to him in the days of her atheism。 It had always been full of welcome and sympathy; and now the only difference was that a great happiness shone in his eyes as he came forward with his soft; steady tread and took he