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we two-第20章

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een obliged to interfere; and do her best to quiet them。

〃How wild thou art; dear Erica?〃 she exclaimed。  〃What is it?〃

〃I am happy; that is all;〃 said Erica。  〃You would be happy if the year of freedom were just dawning for you。  Three months more and I shall be home。〃

She was like a child in her exultant happiness; far more child…like; indeed; than the grave little Ninette whom she was nursing。

〃Thou art not dignified enough for a teacher;〃 said the fraulein; laughingly。

〃She is no teacher;〃 cried the girls。  〃It is holiday time and she need not talk that frightful English。〃

Erica made a laughing defense of her native tongue; and such a babel ensued that the fraulein had to interfere again。

〃Liebe Erica!  Thou art beside thyself!  What has come to thee?〃

〃Only joy; dear Thekla; at the thought of the beautiful new year which is coming;〃 cried Erica。  〃Father would say I was 'fey;' and should pay for all this fun with a bad headache or some misfortune。  Come; give me the French 'David Copperfield;' and let me read you how 'Barkis Veut Bien;' and 'Mrs。 Gummidge a Pense de l'Ancien。'〃

The reading was more exquisitely ludicrous to Erica herself than to her hearers。  Still the wit of Charles Dickens; even when translated; called forth peals of laughter from the French girls; too。  It was the brightest; happiest little group imaginable; perhaps it was scarcely wonderful that old Mme。 Lemercier; when she came to break it up; should find her eyes dim with tears。

〃My dear Erica〃 she said; and broke off abruptly。

Erica looked up with laughing eyes。

〃Don't scold; dear madame;〃 she said; coaxingly。  〃We have been very noisy; but it is New year's eve; and we are so happy。〃

〃Dear child; it is not that;〃 said madame。  〃I want to speak to you for a minute; come with me; cherie。〃

Still Erica noticed nothing; did not detect the tone of pity; did not wonder at the terms of endearment which were generally reserved for more private use。  She followed madame into the hall; still chattering gayly。

〃The 'David Copperfield' is for monsieur's present tomorrow;〃 she said; laughingly。  〃I knew he was too lazy to read it in English; so I got him a translation。〃

〃My dear;〃 said madame; taking her hand; 〃try to be quiet a moment。  II have something to tell you。  My poor little one; monsieur your father is arrived〃

〃Father!  Father here!〃 exclaimed Erica; in a transport of delight。  〃Where is he; where?  Oh; madame; why didn't you tell me sooner?〃

Mme。 Lemercier tried in vain to detain her; as with cheeks all glowing with happiness and dancing eyes; she ran at full speed to the salon。

〃Father!〃 she cried; throwing open the door and running to meet him。  Then suddenly she stood quite still as if petrified。

Beside the crackling wood fire; his arms on the chimney piece; his face hidden; stood a gray…haired man。  He raised himself as she spoke。  His news was in his face; it was written all too plainly there。

〃Father!〃 gasped Erica in a voice which seemed altogether different from the first exclamation; almost as if it belonged to a different person。

Raeburn took her in his arms。

〃My childmy poor little Eric!〃 he said。

She did not speak a word; but clung to him as though to keep herself from falling。  In one instant it seemed as though her whole world had been wrecked; her life shattered。  She could not even realize that her father was still left to her; except in so far as the mere bodily support was concerned。  He was strong; she clung to him as in a hurricane she would have clung to a rock。

〃Say it;〃 she gasped; after a timeless silence; perhaps of minutes; perhaps of hours; it might have been centuries for aught she knew。  〃Say it in words。〃

She wanted to know everything; wanted to reduce this huge; overwhelming sorrow to something intelligible。  Surely in words it would not be so awfulso limitless。

And he said it; speaking in a low; repressed voice; yet very tenderly; as if she had been a little child。  She made a great effort to listen; but the sentences only came to her disjointedly and as if from a great distance。  It had been very suddena two hours' illness; no very great suffering。  He had been lecturing at Birminghamhad been telegraphed forhad been too late。

Erica made a desperate effort to realize it all; at last she brought down the measureless agony to actual words; repeating them over and over to herself〃Mother is dead。〃

At length she had grasped the idea。  Her heart seemed to die within her; a strange blue shade passed over her face; her limbs stiffened。  She felt her father carry her to the window; was perfectly conscious of everything; watched as in a dream; while he wrenched open the clumsy fastening of the casement; heard the voices in the street below; heard; too; in the distance the sound of church bells; was vaguely conscious of relief as the cold air blew upon her。

She was lying on a couch; and; if left to herself; might have lain there for hours in that strange state of absolute prostration。  But she was not alone; and gradually she realized it。  Very slowly the re…beginning of life set in; the consciousness of her father's presence awakened her; as it were; from her dream of unmitigated pain。  She sat up; put her arms round his neck; and kissed him; then for a minute let her aching head rest on his shoulder。  Presently;  in a low but steady voice; she said: 〃What would you like me to do; father?〃

〃To come home with me now; if you are able;〃 he said; 〃tomorrow morning; though; if you would rather wait; dear。〃

But the idea of waiting seemed intolerable to her。  The very sound of the word was hateful。  Had she not waited two weary years; and this was the end of it all?  Any action; any present doing; however painful; but no more waiting。  No terrible pause in which more thoughts and; therefore; more pain might grow。  Outside in the passage they met Mme。 Lemercier; and presently Erica found herself surrounded by kind helpers; wondering to find them all so tearful when her own eyes felt so hot and dry。  They were very good to her; but; separated from her father; her sorrow again completely overwhelmed her; she could not then feel the slightest gratitude to them or the slightest comfort from their sympathy。  She lay motionless on her little white bed; her eyes fixed on the wooden cross on the opposite wall; or from time to time glancing at Fraulein Sonnenthal; who; with little Ninette to help; was busily packing her trunk。  And all the while she said again and again the words which summed up her sorrow: 〃Mother is dead!  Mother is dead!〃

After a time her eyes fell on her elaborately drawn paper of days。  Every evening since her first arrival she had gone through the almost religious ceremony of marking off the day; it had often been a great consolation to her。  The paper was much worn; the weeks and days yet to be marked were few in number。  She looked at it now; and if there can be a 〃more〃 to absolute grief; an additional pang to unmitigated sorrow; it came to her at the sight of that visible record of her long exile。  She snatched down the paper and tore it to pieces; then sunk back again; pale and breathless。  Fraulein Sonnenthal saw and underst
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