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In his letter to Joan he went further。 He had received his uncle's letter； so he confided to her。 Perhaps she would think him a crank； but he couldn't help it。 He hated this killing business； this making of machinery for slaughtering men in bulk； like they killed pigs in Chicago。 Out on the free； sweet sea； helping to keep it clean from man's abominations； he would be away from it all。
She saw the vision of him that night； as； leaning from her window； she looked out beyond the pines： the little lonely ship amid the waste of waters； his beautiful； almost womanish； face； and the gentle dreamy eyes with their haunting suggestion of a shadow。
Her little drummer played less and less frequently to her as the months passed by。 It didn't seem to be the war he had looked forward to。 The illustrated papers continued to picture it as a sort of glorified picnic where smiling young men lolled luxuriously in cosy dug…outs； reading their favourite paper。 By curious coincidence； it generally happened to be the journal publishing the photograph。 Occasionally； it appeared； they came across the enemy； who then put up both hands and shouted 〃Kamerad。〃 But the weary； wounded men she talked to told another story。
She grew impatient of the fighters with their mouths； the savage old baldheads heroically prepared to sacrifice the last young man； the sleek； purring women who talked childish nonsense about killing every man； woman and child in Germany； but quite meant it； the shrieking journalists who had decided that their place was the home front； the press…spurred mobs； the spy hunters； chasing terrified old men and sobbing children through the streets。 It was a relief to enter the quiet ward and close the door behind her。 The camp… followers： the traders and pedlars； the balladmongers； and the mountebanks； the ghoulish sightseers！ War brought out all that was worst in them。 But the givers of their blood； the lads who suffered； who had made the sacrifice： war had taught them chivalry； manhood。 She heard no revilings of hatred and revenge from those drawn lips。 Patience； humour； forgiveness； they had learnt from war。 They told her kindly stories even of Hans and Fritz。
The little drummer in her brain would creep out of his corner； play to her softly while she moved about among them。
One day she received a letter from Folk。 He had come to London at the request of the French Government to consult with English artists on a matter he must not mention。 He would not have the time； he told her； to run down to Liverpool。 Could she get a couple of days' leave and dine with him in London。
She found him in the uniform of a French Colonel。 He had quite a military bearing and seemed pleased with himself。 He kissed her hand； and then held her out at arms' length。
〃It's wonderful how like you are to your mother；〃 he said； 〃I wish I were as young as I feel。〃
She had written him at the beginning of the war； telling him of her wish to get out to the front； and he thought that now he might be able to help her。
〃But perhaps you've changed your mind；〃 he said。 〃It isn't quite as pretty as it's painted。〃
〃I want to；〃 she answered。 〃It isn't all curiosity。 I think it's time for women to insist on seeing war with their own eyes； not trust any longer to the pictures you men paint。〃 She smiled。
〃But I've got to give it up；〃 she added。 〃I can't leave Dad。〃
They were sitting in the hall of the hotel。 It was the dressing hour and the place was almost empty。 He shot a swift glance at her。
〃Arthur is still away；〃 she explained； 〃and I feel that he wants me。 I should be worrying myself； thinking of him all alone with no one to look after him。 It's the mother instinct I suppose。 It always has hampered woman。〃 She laughed。
〃Dear old boy；〃 he said。 He was watching her with a little smile。 〃I'm glad he's got some luck at last。〃
They dined in the great restaurant belonging to the hotel。 He was still vastly pleased with himself as he marched up the crowded room with Joan upon his arm。 He held himself upright and talked and laughed perhaps louder than an elderly gentleman should。 〃Swaggering old beggar；〃 he must have overheard a young sub。 mutter as they passed。 But he did not seem to mind it。
They lingered over the meal。 Folk was a brilliant talker。 Most of the men whose names were filling the newspapers had sat to him at one time or another。 He made them seem quite human。 Joan was surprised at the time。
〃Come up to my rooms； will you？〃 he asked。 〃There's something I want to say to you。 And then I'll walk back with you。〃 She was staying at a small hotel off Jermyn Street。
He sat her down by the fire and went into the next room。 He had a letter in his hand when he returned。 Joan noticed that the envelope was written upon across the corner； but she was not near enough to distinguish the handwriting。 He placed it on the mantelpiece and sat down opposite her。
〃So you have come to love the dear old chap；〃 he said。
〃I have always loved him；〃 Joan answered。 〃It was he didn't love me； for a time； as I thought。 But I know now that he does。〃
He was silent for a few moments； and then he leant across and took her hands in his。
〃I am going；〃 he said； 〃where there is just the possibility of an accident： one never knows。 I wanted to be sure that all was well with you。〃
He was looking at the ring upon her hand。
〃A soldier boy？〃 he asked。
〃Yes；〃 she answered。 〃If he comes back。〃 There was a little catch in her voice。
〃I know he'll come back；〃 he said。 〃I won't tell you why I am so sure。 Perhaps you wouldn't believe。〃 He was still holding her hands； looking into her eyes。
〃Tell me；〃 he said； 〃did you see your mother before she died。 Did she speak to you？〃
〃No；〃 Joan answered。 〃I was too late。 She had died the night before。 I hardly recognized her when I saw her。 She looked so sweet and young。〃
〃She loved you very dearly；〃 he said。 〃Better than herself。 All those years of sorrow： they came to her because of that。 I thought it foolish of her at the time； but now I know she was wise。 I want you always to love and honour her。 I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't right。〃
She looked at him and smiled。 〃It's quite easy；〃 she answered。 〃I always see her as she lay there with all the sorrow gone from her。 She looked so beautiful and kind。〃
He rose and took the letter from where he had placed it on the mantelpiece。 He stooped and held it out above the fire and a little flame leaped up and seemed to take it from his hand。
They neither spoke during the short walk between the two hotels。 But at the door she turned and held out her hands to him。
〃Thank you；〃 she said； 〃for being so kindand wise。 I shall always love and honour her。〃
He kissed her； promising to take care of himself。
She ran against Phillips； the next day； at one of the big stores where she was shopping。 He had obtained a commission early in the war and was now a captain。 He had just come back from the front on leave。 The alternative had not appealed to him； of being one of those responsible for sending other men to death while remaining himself in security and comfort。
〃It's a matte