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ALFRED。
Who； Matilda？
JOHN。
Yes！ she； Of course！ who but she could contrive so to keep One's eyes； and one's feet too； from falling asleep For even one half…hour of the long twenty…four？
ALFRED。
What's the matter？
JOHN。
Why； she isa matter； the more I consider about it； the more it demands An attention it does not deserve； and expands Beyond the dimensions which ev'n crinoline； When possess'd by a fair face； and saucy Eighteen； Is entitled to take in this very small star； Already too crowded； as I think； by far。 You read Malthus and Sadler？
ALFRED。
Of course。
JOHN。
To what use； When you countenance； calmly； such monstrous abuse Of one mere human creature's legitimate space In this world？ Mars； Apollo； Virorum！ the case Wholly passes my patience。
ALFRED。
My own is worse tried。
JOHN。
Yours； Alfred？
ALFRED。
Read this； if you doubt； and decide；
JOHN （reading the letter）。
〃I hear from Bigorre you are there。 I am told You are going to marry Miss Darcy。 Of old〃 What is this？
ALFRED。
Read it on to the end； and you'll know。
JOHN （continues reading）。
〃When we parted； your last words recorded a vow What you will〃 。 。 。 Hang it！ this smells all over； I swear； Of adventurers and violets。 Was it your hair You promised a lock of？
ALFRED。
Read on。 You'll discern。
JOHN （continues）。
〃Those letters I ask you； my lord； to return。〃 。 。 。 Humph！ 。 。 。 Letters！ 。 。 。 the matter is worse than I guess'd； I have my misgivings
ALFRED。
Well； read out the rest； And advise。
JOHN。
Eh？ 。 。 。 Where was I？ （continues。） 〃Miss Darcy； perchance； Will forego one brief page from the summer romance Of her courtship。〃 。 。 。 Egad！ a romance； for my part； I'd forego every page of； and not break my heart！
ALFRED。
Continue。
JOHN （reading）。
〃And spare you one day from your place At her feet。〃 。 。 。 Pray forgive me the passing grimace。 I wish you had MY place！ （reads） 〃I trust you will feel I desire nothing much。 Your friend；〃 。 。 。 Bless me！ 〃Lucile？〃 The Countess de Nevers？
ALFRED。
Yes。
JOHN。
What will you do？
ALFRED。
You ask me just what I would rather ask you。
JOHN。
You can't go。
ALFRED
I must。
JOHN。
And Matilda？
ALFRED。
Oh； that You must manage！
JOHN。
Must I？ I decline it； though； flat。 In an hour the horses will be at the door； And Matilda is now in her habit。 Before I have finished my breakfast； of course I receive A message for 〃dear Cousin John！〃 。 。 。 I must leave At the jeweller's the bracelet which YOU broke last night； I must call for the music。 〃Dear Alfred is right： The black shawl looks best： WILL I change it？ Of course I can just stop； in passing； to order the horse。 Then Beau has the mumps； or St。 Hubert knows what； WILL I see the dog…doctor？〃 Hang Beau！ I will NOT。
ALFRED。
Tush； tush！ this is serious。
JOHN。
It is。
ALFRED。
Very well； You must think
JOHN。
What excuse will you make； tho'？
ALFRED。
Oh； tell Mrs。 Darcy that 。 。 。 lend me your wits； Jack！ 。 。 。 The deuce！ Can you not stretch your genius to fit a friend's use？ Excuses are clothes which； when ask'd unawares； Good Breeding to Naked Necessity spares； You must have a whole wardrobe； no doubt。
JOHN。
My dear fellow； Matilda is jealous； you know； as Othello。
ALFRED。
You joke。
JOHN。
I am serious。 Why go to Luchon？
ALFRED。
Don't ask me。 I have not a choice； my dear John。 Besides； shall I own a strange sort of desire； Before I extinguish forever the fire Of youth and romance； in whose shadowy light Hope whisper'd her first fairy tales； to excite The last spark； till it rise； and fade far in that dawn Of my days where the twilights of life were first drawn By the rosy； reluctant auroras of Love； In short； from the dead Past the gravestone to move； Of the years long departed forever to take One last look； one final farewell； to awake The Heroic of youth from the Hades of joy； And once more be； though but for an hour； Jacka boy！
JOHN。
You had better go hang yourself。
ALFRED。
No！ were it but To make sure that the Past from the Future is shut； It were worth the step back。 Do you think we should live With the living so lightly； and learn to survive That wild moment in which to the grave and its gloom We consign'd our heart's best； if the doors of the tomb Were not lock'd with a key which Fate keeps for our sake？ If the dead could return or the corpses awake？
JOHN。
Nonsense！
ALFRED。
Not wholly。 The man who gets up A fill'd guest from the banquet； and drains off his cup； Sees the last lamp extinguish'd with cheerfulness； goes Well contented to bed； and enjoys its repose。 But he who hath supp'd at the tables of kings； And yet starved in the sight of luxurious things； Who hath watch'd the wine flow； by himself but half tasted； Heard the music； and yet miss'd the tune； who hath wasted One part of life's grand possibilities：friend； That man will bear with him； be sure； to the end； A blighted experience； a rancor within： You may call it a virtue； I call it a sin。
JOHN。
I see you remember the cynical story Of that wicked old piece Experiencea hoary Lothario； whom dying； the priest by his bed （Knowing well the unprincipled life he had led； And observing； with no small amount of surprise； Resignation and calm in the old sinner's eyes） Ask'd if he had nothing that weigh'd on his mind： 〃Well； 。 。 。 no；〃 。 。 。 says Lothario； 〃I think not。 I find； On reviewing my life； which in most things was pleasant； I never neglected； when once it was present； An occasion of pleasing myself。 On the whole； I have naught to regret；〃 。 。 。 and so； smiling； his soul Took its flight from this world。
ALFRED。
Well； Regret or Remorse； Which is best？
JOHN。
Why； Regret。
ALFRED。
No； Remorse； Jack； of course： For the one is related； be sure； to the other。 Regret is a spiteful old maid： but her brother； Remorse； though a widower certainly； yet HAS been wed to young Pleasure。 Dear Jack； hang Regret！
JOHN。
Bref！ you mean； then； to go？
ALFRED。
Bref！ I do。
JOHN。
One word 。 。 。 stay！ Are you really in love with Matilda？
ALFRED。
Love； eh？ What a question！ Of course。
JOHN。