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done； I dare say。 This thing I was going to do。 Oh； I was determined that I
would do itdirectly。
〃I had said all I had to say about Brett's hands。 I had brought my
entertainment to an end。 I had been thanked and complimented all round。 I
was quite at liberty。 I was going to do what I had to do。 I was determined；
yes。
〃We were near the outskirts of London。 The air was gray； thickening；
and Dorothy Elbourn had said： 'Oh； this horrible old London！ I suppose
there's the same old fog！' And presently I heard her father saying
something about 'prevention' and 'a short act of Parliament' and
'anthracite。' And I sat and listened and agreed and〃
Laider closed his eyes。 He passed his hand slowly through the air。
〃I had a racking headache。 And when I said so； I was told not to talk。 I
was in bed； and the nurses were always telling me not to talk。 I was in a
hospital。 I knew that； but I didn't know why I was there。 One day I thought
I should like to know why； and so I asked。 I was feeling much better now。
They told me by degrees that I had had concussion of the brain。 I had been
brought there unconscious； and had remained unconscious for forty…eight
hours。 I had been in an accidenta railway…accident。 This seemed to me
odd。 I had arrived quite safely at my uncle's place； and I had no memory of
any journey since that。 In cases of concussion； you know； it's not
uncommon for the patient to forget all that happened just before the
accident； there may be a blank for several hours。 So it was in my case。
One day my uncle was allowed to come and see me。 And somehow；
suddenly； at sight of him； the blank was filled in。 I remembered； in a flash；
everything。 I was quite calm； though。 Or I made myself seem so； for I
wanted to know how the collision had happened。 My uncle told me that
the engine…driver had failed to see a signal because of the fog； and our
train had crashed into a goods…train。
〃I didn't ask him about the people who were with me。 You see； there
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A。 V。 Laider
was no need to ask。
〃Very gently my uncle began to tell me； butI had begun to talk
strangely； I suppose。 I remember the frightened look of my uncle's face；
and the nurse scolding him in whispers。
〃After that； all a blur。 It seems that I became very ill indeed； wasn't
expected to live。
〃However； I live。〃
There was a long silence。 Laider did not look at me； nor I at him。 The
fire was burning low； and he watched it。
At length he spoke：
〃You despise me。 Naturally。 I despise myself。〃
〃No； I don't despise you； but〃
〃You blame me。〃 I did not meet his gaze。 〃You blame me；〃 he
repeated。
〃Yes。〃
〃And there； if I may say so； you are a little unjust。 It isn't my fault that
I was born weak。〃
〃But a man may conquer his weakness。〃
〃Yes； if he is endowed with the strength for that。〃
His fatalism drew from me a gesture of disgust。
〃Do you really mean；〃 I asked； 〃that because you didn't pull that cord；
you COULDN'T have pulled it？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃And it's written in your hands that you couldn't？〃
He looked at the palms of his hands。
〃They are the hands of a very weak man；〃 he said。
〃A man so weak that he cannot believe in the possibility of free will
for himself or for any one？〃
〃They are the hands of an intelligent man； who can weigh evidence
and see things as they are。〃
〃But answer me： Was it foreordained that you should not pull that
cord？〃
〃It was foreordained。〃
〃And was it actually marked in your hands that you were not going to
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A。 V。 Laider
pull it？〃
〃Ah； well； you see； it is rather the things one IS going to do that are
actually marked。 The things one isn't going to do；the innumerable
negative things；how could one expect THEM to be marked？〃
〃But the consequences of what one leaves undone may be positive？〃
〃Horribly positive。 My hand is the hand of a man who has suffered a
great deal in later life。〃
〃And was it the hand of a man DESTINED to suffer？〃
〃Oh； yes。 I thought I told you that。〃
There was a pause。
〃Well；〃 I said； with awkward sympathy； 〃I suppose all hands are the
hands of people destined to suffer。〃
〃Not of people destined to suffer so much as _I_ have sufferedas I
still suffer。〃
The insistence of his self…pity chilled me； and I harked back to a
question he had not straightly answered。
〃Tell me： Was it marked in your hands that you were not going to pull
that cord？〃
Again he looked at his hands； and then； having pressed them for a
moment to his face； 〃It was marked very clearly；〃 he answered； 〃in THEIR
hands。〃
Two or three days after this colloquy there had occurred to me in
London an ideaan ingenious and comfortable doubt。 How was Laider to
be sure that his brain； recovering from concussion； had REMEMBERED
what happened in the course of that railway…journey？ How was he to know
that his brain hadn't simply； in its abeyance； INVENTED all this for him？
It might be that he had never seen those signs in those hands。 Assuredly；
here was a bright loophole。 I had forthwith written to Laider； pointing it
out。
This was the letter which now； at my second visit； I had found
miserably pent on the letter…board。 I remembered my promise to rescue it。
I arose from the retaining fireside； stretched my arms； yawned； and went
forth to fulfil my Christian purpose。 There was no one in the hall。 The
〃shower〃 had at length ceased。 The sun had positively come out； and the
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front door had been thrown open in its honor。 Everything along the sea…
front was beautifully gleaming； drying； shimmering。 But I was not to be
diverted from my purpose。 I went to the letter…board。 Andmy letter was
not there！ Resourceful and plucky little thingit had escaped！ I did hope it
would not be captured and brought back。 Perhaps the alarm had already
been raised by the tolling of that great bell which warns the inhabitants for
miles around that a