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certain glances which Marguerite bestowed upon her while I was talking
with her。 The man who was the lover of such a woman might well be as
proud as M。 de N。； and she was beautiful enough to inspire a passion not
less great than that which Marguerite had inspired in me。 At that moment
she had no lover。 It would not be difficult to become so； it depended only
on showing enough money to attract her attention。
I made up my mind。 That woman should be my mistress。 I began by
dancing with her。 Half an hour afterward； Marguerite； pale as death； put on
her pelisse and left the ball。
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CHAPTER 24
It was something already； but it was not enough。 I saw the hold which
I had upon this woman； and I took a cowardly advantage of it。
When I think that she is dead now； I ask myself if God will ever
forgive me for the wrong I did her。
After the supper； which was noisy as could be； there was gambling。 I
sat by the side of Olympe and put down my money so recklessly that she
could not but notice me。 In an instant I had gained one hundred and fifty
or two hundred louis； which I spread out before me on the table； and on
which she fastened her eyes greedily。
I was the only one not completely absorbed by the game； and able to
pay her some attention。 All the rest of the night I gained； and it was I who
gave her money to play； for she had lost all she had before her and
probably all she had in the house。
At five in the morning； the guests departed。 I had gained three hundred
louis。
All the players were already on their way downstairs； I was the only
one who had remained behind； and as I did not know any of them； no one
noticed it。 Olympe herself was lighting the way； and I was going to follow
the others； when； turning back； I said to her：
〃I must speak to you。〃
〃To…morrow；〃 she said。
〃No； now。〃
〃What have you to say？〃
〃You will see。〃
And I went back into the room。
〃You have lost；〃 I said。
〃Yes。
〃All that you had in the house？〃
She hesitated。
〃Be frank。〃
〃Well； it is true。〃
〃I have won three hundred louis。 Here they are； if you will let me stay
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here to…night。〃
And I threw the gold on the table。
〃And why this proposition？〃
〃Because I am in love with you； of course。〃
〃No； but because you love Marguerite； and you want to have your
revenge upon her by becoming my lover。 You don't deceive a woman like
me； my dear friend； unluckily； I am still too young and too good…looking
to accept the part that you offer me。〃
〃So you refuse？〃
〃Yes。
〃Would you rather take me for nothing？ It is I who wouldn't accept
then。 Think it over； my dear Olympe； if I had sent some one to offer you
these three hundred louis on my behalf； on the conditions I attach to them；
you would have accepted。 I preferred to speak to you myself。 Accept
without inquiring into my reasons； say to yourself that you are beautiful；
and that there is nothing surprising in my being in love with you。〃
Marguerite was a woman in the same position as Olympe； and yet I
should never have dared say to her the first time I met her what I had said
to the other woman。 I loved Marguerite。 I saw in her instincts which were
lacking in the other； and at the very moment in which I made my bargain； I
felt a disgust toward the woman with whom I was making it。
She accepted； of course； in the end； and at midday I left her house as
her lover； but I quitted her without a recollection of the caresses and of the
words of love which she had felt bound to shower upon me in return for
the six thousand francs which I left with her。 And yet there were men who
had ruined themselves for that woman。
From that day I inflicted on Marguerite a continual persecution。
Olympe and she gave up seeing one another； as you might imagine。 I gave
my new mistress a carriage and jewels。 I gambled； I committed every
extravagance which could be expected of a man in love with such a
woman as Olympe。 The report of my new infatuation was immediately
spread abroad。
Prudence herself was taken in； and finally thought that I had
completely forgotten Marguerite。 Marguerite herself； whether she guessed
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my motive or was deceived like everybody else； preserved a perfect
dignity in response to the insults which I heaped upon her daily。 Only； she
seemed to suffer； for whenever I met her she was more and more pale；
more and more sad。 My love for her； carried to the point at which it was
transformed into hatred； rejoiced at the sight of her daily sorrow。 Often；
when my cruelty toward her became infamous； Marguerite lifted upon me
such appealing eyes that I blushed for the part I was playing； and was
ready to implore her forgiveness。
But my repentance was only of a moment's duration； and Olympe； who
had finally put aside all self…respect； and discovered that by annoying
Marguerite she could get from me whatever she wanted； constantly stirred
up my resentment against her； and insulted her whenever she found an
opportunity； with the cowardly persistence of a woman licensed by the
authority of a man。
At last Marguerite gave up going to balls or theatres； for fear of
meeting Olympe and me。 Then direct impertinences gave way to
anonymous letters； and there was not a shameful thing which I did not
encourage my mistress to relate and which I did not myself relate in
reference to Marguerite。
To reach such a point I must have been literally mad。 I was like a man
drunk upon bad wine； who falls into one of those nervous exaltations in
which the hand is capable of committing a crime without the head
knowing anything about it。 In the midst of it all I endured a martyrdom。
The not disdainful calm； the not contemptuous dignity with which
Marguerite responded to all my attacks； and which raised her above me in
my own eyes； en