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together； and so did his handwriting when he had occasion to draw up a
small agreement。 A closer inspection showed me that one of his pupils
was ever so little larger than the other。 As I left the house his wife came
after me。 ‘Isn't it splendid to see Job looking so well； doctor；' said she；
‘he's that full of energy he can hardly keep himself quiet。' I did not say
anything； for I had not the heart； but I knew that the fellow was as much
condemned to death as though he were lying in the cell at Newgate。 It
was a characteristic case of incipient G。 P。〃
〃Good heavens！〃 cries the outsider。 〃My own lips tremble。 I often
slur my words。 I believe I've got it myself。〃
Three little chuckles come from the front of the fire。
〃There's the danger of a little medical knowledge to the layman。〃
〃A great authority has said that every first year's student is suffering in
silent agony from four diseases；〃 remarks the surgeon。 〃 One is heart
disease； of course； another is cancer of the parotid。 I forget the two
other。〃
〃Where does the parotid come in？〃
〃Oh； it's the last wisdom tooth coming through！〃
〃And what would be the end of that young farmer？〃 asks the outsider。
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〃Paresis of all the muscles； ending in fits； coma； and death。 It may be
a few months； it may be a year or two。 He was a very strong young man
and would take some killing。〃
〃By…the…way；〃 says the alienist； 〃did I ever tell you about the first
certificate I signed？ I came as near ruin then as a man could go。〃
〃What was it； then？〃
〃I was in practice at the time。 One morning a Mrs。 Cooper called
upon me and informed me that her husband had shown signs of delusions
lately。 They took the form of imagining that he had been in the army and
had distinguished himself very much。 As a matter of fact he was a
lawyer and had never been out of England。 Mrs。 Cooper was of opinion
that if I were to call it might alarm him； so it was agreed between us that
she should send him up in the evening on some pretext to my consulting…
room； which would give me the opportunity of having a chat with him and；
if I were convinced of his insanity； of signing his certificate。 Another
doctor had already signed； so that it only needed my concurrence to have
him placed under treatment。 Well； Mr。 Cooper arrived in the evening
about half an hour before I had expected him； and consulted me as to some
malarious symptoms from which he said that he suffered。 According to
his account he had just returned from the Abyssinian Campaign； and had
been one of the first of the British forces to enter Magdala。 No delusion
could possibly be more marked； for he would talk of little else； so I filled
in the papers without the slightest hesitation。 When his wife arrived；
after he had left； I put some questions to her to complete the form。 ‘What
is his age？' I asked。 ‘Fifty；' said she。 ‘Fifty！' I cried。 ‘Why； the man I
examined could not have been more than thirty！ And so it came out that
the real Mr。 Cooper had never called upon me at all； but that by one of
those coincidences which take a man's breath away another Cooper； who
really was a very distinguished young officer of artillery； had come in to
consult me。 My pen was wet to sign the paper when I discovered it；〃
says Dr。 Manson； mopping his forehead。
〃We were talking about nerve just now；〃 observes the surgeon。 〃Just
after my qualifying I served in the Navy for a time； as I think you know。
I was on the flag…ship on the West African Station； and I remember a
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singular example of nerve which came to my notice at that time。 One of
our small gunboats had gone up the Calabar river； and while there the
surgeon died of coast fever。 On the same day a man's leg was broken by
a spar falling upon it； and it became quite obvious that it must be taken off
above the knee if his life was to be saved。 The young lieutenant who was
in charge of the craft searched among the dead doctor's effects and laid his
hands upon some chloroform； a hip…joint knife； and a volume of Grey's
Anatomy。 He had the man laid by the steward upon the cabin table； and
with a picture of a cross section of the thigh in front of him he began to
take off the limb。 Every now and then； referring to the diagram； he
would say： ‘Stand by with the lashings； steward。 There's blood on the
chart about here。' Then he would jab with his knife until he cut the artery；
and he and his assistant would tie it up before they went any further。 In
this way they gradually whittled the leg off； and upon my word they made
a very excellent job of it。 The man is hopping about the Portsmouth
Hard at this day。
〃It's no joke when the doctor of one of these isolated gunboats himself
falls ill；〃 continues the surgeon after a pause。 〃You might think it easy
for him to prescribe for himself； but this fever knocks you down like a
club； and you haven't strength left to brush a mosquito off your face。 I
had a touch of it at Lagos； and I know what I am telling you。 But there
was a chum of mine who really had a curious experience。 The whole
crew gave him up； and； as they had never had a funeral aboard the ship；
they began rehearsing the forms so as to be ready。 They thought that he
was unconscious； but he swears he could hear every word that passed。
‘Corpse comin' up the latchway！' cried the Cockney sergeant of Marines。
‘Present harms！' He was so amused； and so indignant too； that he just
made up his mind that he wouldn't be carried through that hatchway； and
he wasn't； either。〃
〃There's no need for fiction in medicine；〃 remarks Foster； 〃for the facts
will always beat anything you can fancy。 But it has seemed to me
sometimes that a curious paper might be read at some of these meetings
about the uses of medicine in popular fiction。〃