按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
I hardly like to tell you how
This dreadful story ended。
The shocking sequel to impart；
I must employ the limner's art …
If you would know；
This sketch will show
How his exertions ended。
MORAL。
I hate to preach … I hate to prate …
… I'm no fanatic croaker；
But learn contentment from the fate
Of this East India broker。
He'd everything a man of taste
Could ever want； except a waist；
And discontent
His size anent；
And bootless perseverance blind；
Completely wrecked the peace of mind
Of this East India broker。
Ballad： THE PANTOMIME 〃SUPER〃 TO HIS MASK。
VAST empty shell！
Impertinent； preposterous abortion！
With vacant stare；
And ragged hair；
And every feature out of all proportion！
Embodiment of echoing inanity！
Excellent type of simpering insanity！
Unwieldy； clumsy nightmare of humanity！
I ring thy knell！
To…night thou diest；
Beast that destroy'st my heaven…born identity！
Nine weeks of nights；
Before the lights；
Swamped in thine own preposterous nonentity；
I've been ill…treated； cursed； and thrashed diurnally；
Credited for the smile you wear externally …
I feel disposed to smash thy face； infernally；
As there thou liest！
I've been thy brain：
I'VE been the brain that lit thy dull concavity！
The human race
Invest MY face
With thine expression of unchecked depravity；
Invested with a ghastly reciprocity；
I'VE been responsible for thy monstrosity；
I； for thy wanton； blundering ferocity …
But not again！
'T is time to toll
Thy knell； and that of follies pantomimical：
A nine weeks' run；
And thou hast done
All thou canst do to make thyself inimical。
Adieu； embodiment of all inanity！
Excellent type of simpering insanity！
Unwieldy； clumsy nightmare of humanity！
Freed is thy soul！
（THE MASK RESPONDETH。）
Oh！ master mine；
Look thou within thee； ere again ill…using me。
Art thou aware
Of nothing there
Which might abuse thee； as thou art abusing me？
A brain that mourns THINE unredeemed rascality？
A soul that weeps at THY threadbare morality？
Both grieving that THEIR individuality
Is merged in thine？
Ballad： THE GHOST； THE GALLANT； THE GAEL； AND THE GOBLIN。
O'ER unreclaimed suburban clays
Some years ago were hobblin'
An elderly ghost of easy ways；
And an influential goblin。
The ghost was a sombre spectral shape；
A fine old five…act fogy；
The goblin imp； a lithe young ape；
A fine low…comedy bogy。
And as they exercised their joints；
Promoting quick digestion；
They talked on several curious points；
And raised this delicate question：
〃Which of us two is Number One …
The ghostie； or the goblin？〃
And o'er the point they raised in fun
They fairly fell a…squabblin'。
They'd barely speak； and each； in fine；
Grew more and more reflective：
Each thought his own particular line
By chalks the more effective。
At length they settled some one should
By each of them be haunted；
And so arrange that either could
Exert his prowess vaunted。
〃The Quaint against the Statuesque〃 …
By competition lawful …
The goblin backed the Quaint Grotesque；
The ghost the Grandly Awful。
〃Now；〃 said the goblin； 〃here's my plan …
In attitude commanding；
I see a stalwart Englishman
By yonder tailor's standing。
〃The very fittest man on earth
My influence to try on …
Of gentle； p'r'aps of noble birth；
And dauntless as a lion！
Now wrap yourself within your shroud …
Remain in easy hearing …
Observe … you'll hear him scream aloud
When I begin appearing！
The imp with yell unearthly … wild …
Threw off his dark enclosure：
His dauntless victim looked and smiled
With singular composure。
For hours he tried to daunt the youth；
For days； indeed； but vainly …
The stripling smiled！ … to tell the truth；
The stripling smiled inanely。
For weeks the goblin weird and wild；
That noble stripling haunted；
For weeks the stripling stood and smiled；
Unmoved and all undaunted。
The sombre ghost exclaimed； 〃Your plan
Has failed you； goblin； plainly：
Now watch yon hardy Hieland man；
So stalwart and ungainly。
〃These are the men who chase the roe；
Whose footsteps never falter；
Who bring with them； where'er they go；
A smack of old SIR WALTER。
Of such as he； the men sublime
Who lead their troops victorious；
Whose deeds go down to after…time；
Enshrined in annals glorious！
〃Of such as he the bard has said
'Hech thrawfu' raltie rorkie！
Wi' thecht ta' croonie clapperhead
And fash' wi' unco pawkie！'
He'll faint away when I appear；
Upon his native heather；
Or p'r'aps he'll only scream with fear；
Or p'r'aps the two together。〃
The spectre showed himself； alone；
To do his ghostly battling；
With curdling groan and dismal moan；
And lots of chains a…rattling！
But no … the chiel's stout Gaelic stuff
Withstood all ghostly harrying；
His fingers closed upon the snuff
Which upwards he was carrying。
For days that ghost declined to stir；
A foggy shapeless giant …
For weeks that splendid officer
Stared back again defiant。
Just as the Englishman returned
The goblin's vulgar staring；
Just so the Scotchman boldly spurned
The ghost's unmannered scaring。
For several years the ghostly twain
These Britons bold have haunted；
But all their efforts are in vain …
Their victims stand undaunted。
This very day the imp； and ghost；
Whose powers the imp derided；
Stand each at his allotted post …
The bet is undecided。
Ballad： THE PHANTOM CURATE。 A FABLE。
A BISHOP once … I will not name his see …
Annoyed his clergy in the mode conventional；
From pulpit shackles never set them free；
And found a sin where sin was unintentional。
All pleasures ended in abuse auricular …
The Bishop was so terribly particular。
Though； on the whole； a wise and upright man；
He sought to make of human pleasures clearances；
And form his priests on that much…lauded plan
Which pays undue attention to appearances。
He couldn't do good deeds without a psalm in 'em；
Although； in truth； he bore away the palm in 'em。
Enraged to find a deacon at a dance；
Or catch a curate at some mild frivolity；
He sought by open censure to enhance
Their dread of joining harmless social jollity。
Yet he enjoyed （a fact of notoriety）
The ordinary pleasures of society。
One evening； sitting at a pantomime
（Forbidden treat to those who stood in fear of him）；
Roaring at jokes； SANS metre； sense； or rhyme；
He turned； and saw immediately in rear of him；
His peace of mind upsetting； and annoying it；
A curate； also heartily enjoying it。
Again； 't was Christmas Eve； and to enhance
His children's pleasure in their harmless rollicking；
He； like a good old fellow； stood to dance；
When something checked the current of his frolicking：
That curate； with a maid he treated lover…ly；
Stood up and figured with h