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the unbearable bassington-第40章

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hearted creed that expressed itself in the spirit of 〃Little lamb; 

who made thee?〃 and faithfully reflected the beautiful homely 

Christ…child sentiment of Saxon Europe。  What a far away; unreal 

fairy story it all seemed here in this West African land; where the 

bodies of men were of as little account as the bubbles that floated 

on the oily froth of the great flowing river; and where it required 

a stretch of wild profitless imagination to credit them with 

undying souls。  In the life he had come from Comus had been 

accustomed to think of individuals as definite masterful 

personalities; making their several marks on the circumstances that 

revolved around them; they did well or ill; or in most cases 

indifferently; and were criticised; praised; blamed; thwarted or 

tolerated; or given way to。  In any case; humdrum or outstanding; 

they had their spheres of importance; little or big。  They 

dominated a breakfast table or harassed a Government; according to 

their capabilities or opportunities; or perhaps they merely had 

irritating mannerisms。  At any rate it seemed highly probable that 

they had souls。  Here a man simply made a unit in an unnumbered 

population; an inconsequent dot in a loosely…compiled deathroll。  

Even his own position as a white man exalted conspicuously above a 

horde of black natives did not save Comus from the depressing sense 

of nothingness which his first experience of fever had thrown over 

him。  He was a lost; soulless body in this great uncaring land; if 

he died another would take his place; his few effects would be 

inventoried and sent down to the coast; someone else would finish 

off any tea or whisky that he left behind … that would be all。



It was nearly time to be starting towards the next halting place 

where he would dine or at any rate eat something。  But the 

lassitude which the fever had bequeathed him made the tedium of 

travelling through interminable forest…tracks a weariness to be 

deferred as long as possible。  The bearers were nothing loth to let 

another half…hour or so slip by; and Comus dragged a battered 

paper…covered novel from the pocket of his coat。  It was a story 

dealing with the elaborately tangled love affairs of a surpassingly 

uninteresting couple; and even in his almost bookless state Comus 

had not been able to plough his way through more than two…thirds of 

its dull length; bound up with the cover; however; were some pages 

of advertisement; and these the exile scanned with a hungry 

intentness that the romance itself could never have commanded。  The 

name of a shop; of a street; the address of a restaurant; came to 

him as a bitter reminder of the world he had lost; a world that ate 

and drank and flirted; gambled and made merry; a world that debated 

and intrigued and wire…pulled; fought or compromised political 

battles … and recked nothing of its outcasts wandering through 

forest paths and steamy swamps or lying in the grip of fever。  

Comus read and re…read those few lines of advertisement; just as he 

treasured a much…crumpled programme of a first…night performance at 

the Straw Exchange Theatre; they seemed to make a little more real 

the past that was already so shadowy and so utterly remote。  For a 

moment he could almost capture the sensation of being once again in 

those haunts that he loved; then he looked round and pushed the 

book wearily from him。  The steaming heat; the forest; the rushing 

river hemmed him in on all sides。



The two boys who had been splitting wood ceased from their labours 

and straightened their backs; suddenly the smaller of the two gave 

the other a resounding whack with a split lath that he still held 

in his hand; and flew up the hillside with a scream of laughter and 

simulated terror; the bigger lad following in hot pursuit。  Up and 

down the steep bush…grown slope they raced and twisted and dodged; 

coming sometimes to close quarters in a hurricane of squeals and 

smacks; rolling over and over like fighting kittens; and breaking 

away again to start fresh provocation and fresh pursuit。  Now and 

again they would lie for a time panting in what seemed the last 

stage of exhaustion; and then they would be off in another wild 

scamper; their dusky bodies flitting through the bushes; 

disappearing and reappearing with equal suddenness。  Presently two 

girls of their own age; who had returned from the water…fetching; 

sprang out on them from ambush; and the four joined in one joyous 

gambol that lit up the hillside with shrill echoes and glimpses of 

flying limbs。  Comus sat and watched; at first with an amused 

interest; then with a returning flood of depression and heart…ache。  

Those wild young human kittens represented the joy of life; he was 

the outsider; the lonely alien; watching something in which he 

could not join; a happiness in which he had no part or lot。  He 

would pass presently out of the village and his bearers' feet would 

leave their indentations in the dust; that would be his most 

permanent memorial in this little oasis of teeming life。  And that 

other life; in which he once moved with such confident sense of his 

own necessary participation in it; how completely he had passed out 

of it。  Amid all its laughing throngs; its card parties and race…

meetings and country…house gatherings; he was just a mere name; 

remembered or forgotten; Comus Bassington; the boy who went away。  

He had loved himself very well and never troubled greatly whether 

anyone else really loved him; and now he realised what he had made 

of his life。  And at the same time he knew that if his chance were 

to come again he would throw it away just as surely; just as 

perversely。  Fate played with him with loaded dice; he would lose 

always。



One person in the whole world had cared for him; for longer than he 

could remember; cared for him perhaps more than he knew; cared for 

him perhaps now。  But a wall of ice had mounted up between him and 

her; and across it there blew that cold…breath that chills or kills 

affection。



The words of a well…known old song; the wistful cry of a lost 

cause; rang with insistent mockery through his brain:





〃Better loved you canna be;

Will ye ne'er come back again?〃





If it was love that was to bring him back he must be an exile for 

ever。  His epitaph in the mouths of those that remembered him would 

be; Comus Bassington; the boy who never came back。



And in his unutterable loneliness he bowed his head on his arms; 

that he might not see the joyous scrambling frolic on yonder 

hillside。







CHAPTER XVII







THE bleak rawness of a grey December day held sway over St。 James's 

Park; that sanctuary of lawn and tree and pool; into which the 

bourgeois innovator has rushed ambitiously time and again; to find 

that he must take the patent leather from off his feet; for the 

ground on which he stands is hallowed ground。



In the lonely hour
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