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to retreat hastily； but observing that Van Berg had not heard her
light step； she hesitated。 Then； his attitude of utter dejection
so won her sympathy that she could not leave him without speaking；
for she remembered how sorely in need she once had been of a
reassuring word。 Moreover； her heart said； 〃Speak to him；〃 hope
cried； 〃Stay；〃 and her temptation to win him if possible； right or
wrong； sprang up with tenfold power and whispered： 〃The man whom
Jennie Burton welcomed so cordially Saturday evening would not
wear this aspect if he had the power to return readily to her side
again。〃 Still she hesitated and found it almost as hard to obtain
words or courage now as when she saw him pulling apart the worm…eaten
rosebud。 At last she faltered：
〃Mr。 Van Berg； are you ill？〃
He started to his feet with a dazed look and passed his hand across
his browthe same gesture she so well remembered seeing him make
at the close of the happy evening he had spent at her home。 As he
realized that the maiden before him was flesh and blood； and not
a creation of his morbid fancy； the hot blood rushed swiftly into
his face； and his eyes fell before her。
〃Yes； Miss Mayhew； I am；〃 he said； briefly。
〃I am very sorry。 Can I not do anything for you？〃 she asked；
kindly。
He looked up at her in strong surprise； and was still more perplexed
by the sympathetic expression of her face； but he only said； 〃I
regret to say you cannot。〃
〃Mr。 Van Berg；〃 said Ida； in tones full of distress； 〃your words
and appearance pain me exceedingly。 You look as if you had been
ill a month。 What has happened？〃 His aspect might trouble one
less interested in him than herself； for his eyes were blood…shot；
and he had become so haggard that she could scarcely realize that
he was the man who but four days previous had compared his hearty
merriment with the 〃laughter of the gods。〃
〃Miss Mayhew；〃 he said； bitterly and slowly； too； as if he were
carefully choosing his words； 〃you had a presentiment last Saturday
that some evil was about to happen。 As far as I am concerned the
worst has happened。 I have lost my self…respect。 I have no right
to stand here in your presence。 I have no right to be in this
place even。 I once tossed away a little flower that had been sadly
marred； through no fault of its own； and as I did so I said in my
pride and self…complacency that its imperfection justified my act。
You understood me too well； and my accursed Phariseeism wounded
your very heart。 You afterwards generously forgave my offence and
a worse one； but God is just and I am now punished in the severest
possible way。 I perceive now that you do not understand me； or you
could not look and speak so kindly。 I thought you had learned me
better； for you spoke words on the boat that pierced my very soul；
revealing me to myself； and later you passed me without a glance。
You were right in both instances。 You are wrong now； and i shall
not take advantage of your present ignorance； which circumstances
will soon remove。 I repeat it； Miss Mayhew； I have no right to be here
and speaking to you； and yet〃he made a passionate and despairing
gesture； and was about to turn hastily away； when Ida said；
earnestly； with her eyes fixed on his face； as was her instinctive
custom when she sought to learn more from the expression of the
speaker than from his words：
〃Mr。 Van Berg； before we part； answer me one question。 Have you
deliberately and selfishly intended to do wrong； or to wrong any
one？〃
〃No；〃 he promptly replied meeting； her searching look unhesitatingly。
Then； with an impatient gesture； he added： 〃But no one will ever
believe it。〃
〃I believe it；〃 she said with a reassuring smile。
〃You？ You of all others？ But you are talking at random； Miss
Mayhew。 When you learn the truth you will look and speak very
differently。 And you shall learn it now。 You once told me of a
wicked and desperate purpose to which you were driven by the wrong
of others。 Your sin seems to me a deed of light compared with
the act I have been led to commit； under the guidance of my proud
reason； my superior judgement； my cool； well…balanced natureinfernally
cool it was； indeed！ Pardon me； but I am beside myself with rage
and self…loathing。 True； I have not been intentionally false；
but there are circumstances in which folly； weakness； and stupid
blundering are nearly as bad； and the results quite as bad。 What
can you say of the man who pays open suit and makes a distinct offer
and pledge to a lady； and the retreats from that suit and breaks
that pledge； and through no fault whatever in the lady herself？
What can you say of that man when the lady is a poor and orphaned
girl； whom any one with a spark of honor would shield with his life；
but that he is a base； fickle wretch； who deserves the contempt of
all good men and women； and that he ought to beas he shall bea
vagabond on the face of the earth？〃
Ida had buried her face in her hands as she learned how thoroughly
Van Berg had committed himself to Miss Burton； and the artist
concluded； abruptly： 〃One thing is certain； he has no right to be
here。 I shall not wait and see your look of scorn； orworseof
pity； for I could not endure it；〃 and he snatched up his sketch…book
and was about to hasten from the place； when Ida sprang forward
and said passionately：
〃Wait。 This is all wrong。 Answer me thiswhen you discovered
the awful crime； which in heart I had already committed； how did
you treat me？〃
〃Your purpose was wicked； but not base。〃
〃You have not intended to be either base or wicked；〃 she began。
〃Hush！〃 he interrupted sternly； 〃you shall not palliate my weakness
by smooth words； and to a man； weakness and stupidity； in some
circumstances； are more contemptible than crime。 Oh； how I envy
Stanton！ His course has been straightforward； noble； regalI have
acted like one of the 'canaille。'〃
〃You deeply regret then； that your feelings have so changed towards
Miss Burton？〃 said Ida； with her eyes again fastened upon his face。
〃I do not think my feelings have changed towards her；〃 he replied；
〃she is admirable； perfect； and I honor her from the depths of my
heart。 Don't you see？ I mistook my deep respect； sympathy； and
admiration for something more； and I smiled complacently in my
superior way and flattered myself that it was in this eminently
well…bred and rational manner that Harold Van Berg would pay his
addresses to a lady； and that Stanton's absorbing passion was only
the result of ungoverned； unbalanced natureaccursed prig that I
was！ While in this very complacent and superior condition of mind
I committed myself to a course that I cannot carry out； and yet
my failure to do so slays my honor and self…respect。 Now； I have
been as explicit with you as you were with me； and with what you
have seen of yourself； you know the whole miserable truth。 By a
strange fate