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and such is my nature。 I've been made all the more incapable of
patient self…sacrifice by self…indulgence from my childhood up。
Oh； will it be very； very wrong to win him if I can？〃 and the
passionate tears and sobs that followed these words would seem to
indicate that she understood her nature only too well。
At last she concluded； in weariness and exhaustion； 〃I'm too weak
and distracted to think any more。 I hardly know whether it's right
or wrong。 I hope it isn't very wrong。 I won't decide now。 Let
matters take their own course as they have done and I may see
clearer by and by。〃
But deep in her heart she felt that this was about the same as
yielding to the temptation。
She bathed her eyes； tried to think how she could spend the
intervening hours before they would meet again。 Then with a sense
of dismay she began to consider； 〃If we are to meet so often what
are we to talk about？ He once tried to converse with me and found
me so ignorant he couldn't。 It seemed to me I didn't know anything
that evening； and he'll soon grow disgusted with me again as he sees
my poor little pack of knowledge is like a tramp's bundle that he
carries around with him。 I must readI must study every moment；
or I haven't the remotest chance of success。 Success！ Oh； merciful
heaven！ it's the same as if I were setting about it all deliberately
and there's no use of deceiving myself。 I hope it isn't very； very
wrong。〃
She went to her father's library with flushed cheeks and hesitating
steps； as if it were the tree from which she might pluck the fruit
of forbidden knowledge。 The long rows of ponderous and neglected
books appalled her； she took down two or three and they seemed
like unopened mines； deep and rocky。 She felt instinctively that
there was not time for her to transmute their ores into graceful
and natural mental adornments。
〃Methuselah himself couldn't read them all；〃 she exclaimed。 〃By the
powers！ if here isn't more books than I can carry； on one subject。
I suppose cartloads have been written about art。 I've no doubt
he's read them all； but I never can； I fear my attempt to read up
is like trying to get strong by eating a whole ox at once。 Oh；
why did I waste my school…days； and indeed all my life as I have！〃
and she stamped her foot in her impatience and irritation。
〃Well；〃 she sighed at last； with a grim sort of humor； 〃I must do
the best I can。 It's the same as if I were on a desert island。 I
must tie together some sort of a raft in order to cross the gulf
that separates us； for I never can stand it to stay here alone。
Since I have not time to spare I may as well commence with that
encyclopaedia； and learn a little about as many things as possible；
then if he introduces a subject he shall at least see that I know
what he is talking about。〃 And during the afternoon the poor
girl plodded through sever articles； often recalling her wandering
thoughts by impatient little gestures； and by the time her father
returned she was conscious of knowing a very little indeed about a
number of things。 〃No matter；〃 she thought； compressing her lips；
〃I won't give up till I must。 It's my one chance for happiness
in this world； and I'll cling to it while there is a shred of hope
left。〃
It was with an eager and resolute face that she confronted her
father that evening； as they sat down to dinner。 He thought she
would descant on her experiences of the morning； and he was anxious
for a chance to say how truly he appreciated Mr。 Van Berg's cordial
manner； but she surprised him by asking abruptly：
〃Father； when do we elect another president？〃
He told her； and then followed a rapid fire of questions about the
general and state government； and the names and characters of the
men who held the chief offices。 At last Mr。 Mayhew laid down his
knife and fork in his astonishment； and asked sententiously：
〃How long is it since you decided to go into politics？〃
Ida's laugh was very reassuring； and she said； 〃Poor father！ I
don't wonder you think I've lost my wits； now that I'm trying to
use the few I have。 Don't you see？ I don't know anything that's
worth knowing。 I wasted my time at school； for my head was full
of beaux； dress； and nonsense。 Besides； I don't think my teachers
took much pains to make me understand anything。 At any rate； my
dancing…master； and perhaps my music…teachera little bitare
the only ones that have any reason to be proud of the result。 Now
I want you to brush up your ideas about everything； so you can
answer the endless questions I am going to ask you。〃
〃Why bless you； child； you take away my breath。 Rome wasn't built
in a day。〃
〃The way they built Rome will never answer for me。 I must grow like
one of our Western cities that has a mayor and opera…house almost
before the Indians and wolves are driven out of town。 Speaking of
Rome reminds me how little I know of that city； and it's a burning
shame； too； for I spent a month there。〃
〃Well；〃 said Mr。 Mayhew； with kindling interest； 〃suppose we take
up a course of reading about Rome for the winter。〃
〃For the winter！ That won't do at all。 Can't you tell me something
of interest about Rome this evening？〃
〃I've already mentioned the interesting factthat it wasn't built
in a day。 I think that's the most important thing that you need
to know about Rome and everything else this evening。 Why； Ida；
you can't become wise as an ostrich makes its supperby swallowing
everything that comes in its way。 You are not a bit like an
ostrich。〃
〃An ostrich is a silly bird that puts its head under the sand and
thins its whole great body hidden because it can't see itself；
isn't it； father？〃
〃I've heard that story told of it；〃 replied Mr。 Mayhew； laughing。
〃Anything but an ostrich； then。 Come； I'll read the evening paper
to you on condition you tell me the leading questions of the day。
What is just now the leading question of the day？〃
〃Well；〃 said Mr。 Mayhew； demurely； but with a sparkle of humor
in his eye； 〃one of the leading questions of this day with me has
been whether Mr。 Van Berg would not enjoy dining with us to…morrow
evening now that he is here alone in the city？〃
Ida instantly held the newspaper before her crimson face and said：
〃Father； you ought to be ashamed thus to divert my mind from the
pursuit of useful knowledge。〃
Her father came to her side and said very kindly： 〃Ida； darling；
you are a little bit like an ostrich now。〃
She sprang up； and； hiding her face on his shoulder； trembled like
a leaf。 〃Oh； father；〃 she whispered； 〃I would not have him know
for the world。 Is it so very plain？〃
〃Not to him； my child； but the eyes of a love like mine are very
keen。 So you needn't be on your guard before your old father as
you must be before him and the world。 You shall have only rest and
sympathy at home as far as I can give them。 Indeed； if you